Let me start out by saying I don’t normally eat out, especially at McDonalds.
After a long day of working on the ‘garage sale’, I look over at the clock, and see its 7:30. Waaaaay past our usual dinner time.
So I deciede for a quick run into town. My lovely husband says hes craving nuggets. No problem I think.
No problem I think. If I only knew what was to come…
Now our car, it has a vacuum problem, sometimes it idles high, other times it fine, today it idles high. Usually not a problem.
I have to make a pit stop at the ATM, I need to deposit a check and take out money, so I roll around get the deposit slip and fill it out, deposit the check, and get my money, all the while the car is running.
I pull into McDonald’s and see the inside is swamped, so I opt for the drive thru, theres only three cars, shouldn’t take too long.
It takes a bit for me to get up to the speaker, but not too bad, during the wait, six cars line up behind me.
I pull up and start my order, “What?.. Can you please turn your car off, we can’t hear you.”
For a brief moment, I think, Wouldn’t it be shitty if you couldn’t get the car started again?
I would have to think that.
I get done with my order, and you know it. The car won’t start.
I look down at myself quickly, I’m slightly overweight, and I’m wearing stretch pants.
Absolutly fucking wonderful.
So out of the car I go, turning a wheel cold, and pushing it from the drivers side up a slight slope. All the while I’m thinking, man I have to wonder how many people are laughing at me and my fucking piece of shit car.
And, God I hope they’re not laughing at my ass.
The manager comes out as I’m jumping in to put the car in park, and asks me if I still want my order, and I can use their phone.
I know using the phone won’t be much help, all I have to do is wait for the piece of shit Olds 350 engine to cool off a bit and the starter won’t be so hot to start, But I call my husband anyhow and tell him if I’m not home in a half hour to look for me.
I wait another 20 minutes for my food. And I get the car started, meanwhile one of the people from the drive thru was handy enough to come in and tell me I left my lights on.
Well thank fucking you.
There I sit in the McDonalds, not dressed to go out, I had on holy stretch pants, a dirty shirt, my face was smudged with dirt.
I get home and relay the whole story to my husband and all he has to say is, you were worried about people looking at your ass?
So you piece of shit Olds 350 engine and the started and fuck it the whole damn car, and the vacuum problem, you can drop yourself on the highway while my husband comes home from work, and while he is pushing you off the highway, I hope some old lady speeds by laughing at your ass.