I have noticed here that, those who have them, call their other halves their SO not bf or gf … I was wondering why because I haven’t seen it in use before.
I call my boyfriend just that… we don’t live together and aren’t married but we are very very committed to each other and very much in love. We do both see a future together also. I call him my bf cos he asked me if he could be just that… I am his girlfriend. Is it a case that your SO lives with you but your bf doesn’t? Or is a bf just a friend whereas an SO is a life partner (or at least a serious potential one)?
Perhaps its just phraseology here - but I am curious as to people’s take on it.
In your opinion, is an SO more important than a bf/gf? Whats the definition of an SO? or bf/gf? Should I really be calling my bf, my SO in fact.
For me they are entirely interchangeable. The only advantage I see to using SO is that it leaves sexual preference/gender out of the picture, which may be nice sometimes. SO could also be referring to a husband/wife, as opposed to a bf/gf. Other than those two things, I can’t say I think of them as being any different.
I also just like the sound of it, which is why i prefer to write SO. The highschoolness of bf/gf gets to me a little, but when I’m speaking I still tend to say “boyfriend” so I guess thats not really a valid argument in my case.
I think the gender issues are a big part of why its so popular - it’s easier to ask someone about their “SO” than about their “bf” only to be told its “gf”. then you just look silly! Also it sounds much more romantic than “my partner”, which to me sounds like they’re part of a law firm or something.
I tend to use them interchangably, based primarily on how other people are phrasing it. But, I prefer BF/GF because, it has the benefit of being a “real” phrase I grew up with, not some prefab, PC jargon. While boyfriend/girlfriend may sound immature to some, SO has a “pompous ass” sound to it, to me.
If it’s none of my business as to whether you’re referring to your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or whatever, just say “someone”. And, really, if you feel the need to be that evasive, why are you telling me in the first place?
Although, mnemosyne’s right about using it when talking to someone you don’t know well. It does avoid gender confusion.
I never really liked SO when my husband and I were dating. As others have said though boyfriend/girlfriend sounds pretty high-school-ish. We just used hubby/wife since we knew we were going to get married and we acted married anyway (EVERYONE assumed we were already old married folk even when we were just dating.)
I’ve since accepted SO for an easy way to skip the bf/gf thing and the gender issue… yet I refer to some of my female friends (only some) as girlfriends (in the platonic sense) and none of my male friends as boyfriends… confusing eh?
I use SO because an awful lot of my friends have comitted relationships that are not adequately described by “boyfriend/girlfriend,” but are not properly “husband/wife/spouse” yet, and may never be.
The fact that I know a large number of GLBT and polyamorous people may have something to do with this. If most of your extended circle are straight, mono, and vanilla, the distinction may simply not be meaningful to you.
POSSLQ implies, though it does not require, a platonic relationship, so it doesn’t cover as much territory. “Sharing living quarters” does not equal “living together” on the connotative level. I’m old enough to remember when the term was in relatively common usage. The “polite” term for living together, at that time, was cohabitating.
Boyfriend and girlfriend sounds a bit immature, but I think significant other is worse - to mean it’s one of those overly complicated modern terms that takes a simple concept and makes it sound like techno-jargon. ‘Significant’ is an understatement and very impersonal, and ‘other’ is worse. I have plenty of ‘other’ people in my life who are very ‘significant’ to me. I’m only in a romantic relationship with one of them. Girlfriend has some imprecision too, but at least the words give you some idea what’s being discussed.
I like to say “my lady friend” sometimes. I usually use “girlfreind” because “Significant Other” sounds not only overly PC (it’s so 90’s), but also implies a more serious, committed type of relationship.
I use SO more often than I use bf, mainly for the juvenile connotation of ‘bf’.
Also, we’ve been living together for nearly 2 years, and plan on living together indefinitely. Is there marriage in the future for us? Maybe. But I’m definitely not ready to refer to him as my “hubby”.
After reading these other posts, I wanted to add to mine - I only ever say “SO” on the net, and even then only sometimes Any conversation or e-mail to friends or anything else I’ll just say “girlfriend” - I don’t see it as being high school unless every other word out of my mouth is “Well, my girlfriend this, and my girlfriend that”… “SO” just sounds too PC and sterile to use in conversation, but that’s just me. Where’s the passion, I ask?
For me it’s bf/gf, mainly because for one, I don’t think I’ve ever really had a relationship where the other person is truly a “signifigant other” I’ve had relationships where I deeply cared for someone, etc., but still never to the point where I would call someone my SO, in the same way that soemthing like “soulmate” is something I would never use in the relationships I’ve had, to date.
As well…I’m in Junior High, I say bf/gf because I’m a teenager, and I act like one.
I’m another one who only uses ‘SO’ online. i do so because everyone knows what you’re talking about and it’s quicker to type.
IRL, I used boyfriend up until I left school and moved in with him. When we were living together, when we were engaged and now that we’re married, I use ‘partner’ since fiance, boyfriend and husband don’t describe our relationship as well as partner does. (IMO)
Well seems there’s no real difference between the terms … I am 35 so I don’t think I could legally be described as juvenile (though I am sometimes lol)… but I like the term boyfriend… SO seems so sterile as others have said.
Ok I’ll keep to bf for me … it suits us better and we call each others boyfriend and girlfriend anyway.
I use SO when I’m not too certain of the exact relationship between two people, beyond that I know they have some kind of non-platonic relationship, or when the relationship doesn’t “fit neatly” (for lack of a better term) into the other phrases that can be used to describe the relationship.
(Or, to be a bit more to the point: I use it as a default, until I find a more fitting term, or untl whoever is involved lets me know what term they prefer.)
And personally, I go back and forth on what term I use with my current relationship, depending on circumstances.
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Any conversation or e-mail to friends or anything else I’ll just say “girlfriend” - I don’t see it as being high school unless every other word out of my mouth is “Well, my girlfriend this, and my girlfriend that”… “SO” just sounds too PC and sterile to use in conversation, but that’s just me. Where’s the passion, I ask? 
