So what are the hip insults these days?

The Dope was where I first heard the phrase “asshat”.
Now, I realize that’s an oldie but goodie, but it always cracked me up. Since I don’t have much online time anymore I’m wondering what the good insults are these days, either on here, elsewhere online, or IRL.

Roast me!

okay, toolbag. You just wait until the real pricks get in here, they’ll tear you a new one.
That’s 3 of my favorite insults.

Bend over prag I’ll show you what a hip insult really is.

A clanger is sort of a human wind chime. Noise all the time, no meaning.

I mean no offense to our SMBD poster Small Clanger. Hey, I didn’t choose your username. It’s sorta like all those guys named Dick.

Yo mama is so big that when she sits around updating her blog, she sits around the blog.

Just bang on your keyboard and tell people it’s “leet” for something so insulting their eyes would melt.

If they ask what it means, roll your eyes and let them know that they are too stupid to even be insulted correctly.

Grammer insult’s our still populer.

All the cool kids say “sit on it” and “kiss my grits”!!

Sounds as if sidle could use this: http://www.sonic.net/maledicta/journal.html

Now get thee hence, thou whey-faced loon. (Hip is fine, but I’m more of a classicist, myself).

Well, being 32, I’m not so young and hip, but I gleefully pepper anyone who cuts me off in traffic or otherwise displays some staggering ass-hattery with any of the following:

fucktard (my personal favorite)
cock-knocker
monkey-fucker
and the classic, dingleberry.

ive always been partial to: “Your face could stop a clock”

I came in here to say “asshat”. Oh well.

Ass-monkey is one I’ve been using a lot lately. Actually, I tend to take “ass” and monkey" and add them to lots of other standard insults, just to spice them up.

Also “whoore” as a new twist on “whore”. Dress slutty to talk on your cell in the school bathroom? Well, you’re a whoore! Just because.

The rest of the insults I use are nowhere close to hip, because my friends and I use stuff we learn in school and twist that into insults. About as geeky as you can get. But the fun part is, people have no clue what we’re talking about.

At 24, I’m still pretty young but I’ve never been hip. However, I do have some favorites.
My current favorite is…

cocknobber :smiley:

I’ve never called anyone this. It just sounds so damn funny!

I do have a book filled with insults - all in classical Latin.

Puella defututa - a thoroughly tried and tested nymphomaniac :smiley: It sounds so much more colorful than “whore”

“Buttmunch.”

Dunno whether it’s hip but one hears it around.

“Asshair.”

Getting obsolete. Superseded by “asshat.”

“Tiny little wipers of other people’s bottoms.”

Always a classic, but always hip.

Bungfodder

Just tell the women they’re fat and/or old and the men that they have tiny penises. The classics never go out of style.

Yes… no one likes to be called a poltroon or a cad or a merkin.

I’ve always liked the English insult, “prat” was well.

Ass-ratchet.

I wish I could see things your way, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass. :smiley:

Adam

who you calling an Adam??

oh and I forgot the :smiley: