So which morons came up with predictive text?

I’ve been meaning to have a moan about this for a while, but it’s hardly Pit -worthy so here we are.

Predictive text on mobile phones. A great labour-saving device, no? Well, yes by and large but it was clearly implemented by idiots, or at least people with very different social lives from the majority of cellphone users.

Who, for instance, thought that if someone types the combination (MNO) (TUV) (MNO), they were more likely to have the word nun in mind than mum? Were they raised in a convent, perhaps?

And how about (GHI) (PQRS) (ABC) (MNO). Is the person arranging to see their gran? No, don’t be silly! They are much more likely to be planning a visit to Iran. :smack:

And why plan to go out for a pint? All the cool people prefer a shot or two!

I have predictive text, but it’s only based on stuff that I’ve written in the past. So if I start writing “sec…” it’ll fill that in as “second.” If I start writing “next” it’ll add “wknd.” It actually works pretty well.

Huh. My phone always tried to tell me ‘shot’, but it learns from previous use, and now understands that I far prefer to ask friends if they fancy a pint. And as with Zoggie, it automatically adds non-dictionary words to its predictions once it’s seen them.

Mine has that as well. My husband’s is that described by Colophon. I HATE IT.

My phone is pretty ancient (for 21st-century values of ancient), so that must be it. It does learn words that are not in its dictionary, but it is not advanced enough to alter its order of precedence by learning how frequently I use them.

What is more bizarre and annoying is that accepts certain strings of characters that are not words, nor are they the start of words, and will continue to offer those as a first alternative over and above real words that it has learnt.

For instance, if I try to enter “yateley” (the name of my home town), the first choice is “wavelew”. Huh? It knows about “yateley” because I have entered it before, but it requires me to scroll down one choice to enter it. WHY?

The one that you describe, Colophon does sound bad. Is it an English thing? A friend of mine abroad in England mentioned getting a phone for the semester she was there. She talked about the mobile phone being irritating/hard to use for texting.

I have a TracFone and the predictive text is awful there, too.

Pssst…google my location :wink:

I predict a riot.

Mine offers words I have taught it but it still doesn’t ‘learn’ through use of other words already there.

Why would ‘on’ be more common than ‘no’? It just doesn’t make sense.

If you have more than one glass of beer you could get the pious in.

Another one: my girlfriend’s name is Jo. Surely the first choice for that combination should not be “Km”? How many English words start “jo” compared with “km”? Madness.

Edit: and do you know, despite this bugging me for years, I have only just this minute realised why “km” is there. Duh!

Oh, I was aware that the OP was from England. (Sorry, wasn’t looking at your location.) I was just wondering if it was exclusively a problem with English phones, since no one I know complains about predictive text, except for the person I knew who was abroad there.

Am I being whooshed and is the joke that it’s an American English prediction?

I don’t see why it should be. Mobile phones are pretty international, aren’t they? I mean, my phone is a bog-standard Nokia - a Finnish company, hardware probably assembled by 8-year-olds in China*. We’re not talking a half-timbered Olde Shakespearian Portable Telephonic Apparatus produced by Simpkins & Co.

*OK, I just checked: “MADE IN FINLAND”. Colour me surprised.

Hm. Look to the Finns.

Seriously, though, now I want an Olde Shakesperian Portable Telephonic Apparatus! More than you will ever know.

You’d think that it would be a fairly universal thing. The only reason I was wondering was that my friend was clearly bitching about this English phone problem, and I noticed you were in England. Do Dopers from other countries encounter this phone problem as well?

My predictive text peeve:

**going ** - not until I type the last **g ** does it show. What the hell is ‘img’ or ‘hohn’?

I want to know why I can’t use the word ‘freaking’ without it automatically going to ‘freakhog’ - I mean seriously. Freakhog?

I’m guessing that this abortive thread from four years ago has finally come of age…?

If I just hit the number four, my first choice is… “G”. Cause of course, I would never have the need to refer to myself in the first person while texting. “G” is much more likely.

Are you sure you have predictive mode switched on? Even my phone comes up with “I” for that one, unless of course it’s in non-predictive mode in which case you have to press “4” three times to get an “I”.