The easy or stereotypical route would be your standard-issue Mormon missionary. Since I’m a girl, that means a nice, frumpy looking dress, and a name tag. But if I were going to go crazy, (and take a page from Chronos’ book) I’d choose The Utahraptor
In honor of the state of my birth, I would dress as a loon. Except . . . I’m not entirely sure I want to have to explain to people that I’m not a big black and white duck.
So I came up with a Plan B, requires more explanation, but is more interesting.
Evening gown, Parka, Tiara, and a bunch of yellow pancake makeup. A Dairy Princess carved from butter from the Minnesota State Fair.
(Note: when I’ve actually seen the Dairy Princesses being carved out of butter, they were wearing parkas but not evening gowns. But the evening gown would go a long way in my imagination to denote the whole winner of beauty pageant thing).
But it’s a treat to beat your feet on the Mississippi mud; all the other partygoers might start kicking you. Ow!
[underlining mine]
- Alternatively, on the Abe Lincoln angle, you could go as a penny.
- Then o’course, there’s the whole Carl Sandburg poem about Chicago for inspiration:
Hog Butcher for the World,
Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,
Player with Railroads and the Nation’s Freight Handler
- Geez, eleanorigby, we must have lived right next door to each other or something when I was in Illinois. Next thing I know you’ll be talking about that LaGrotto Pizza on Rte 6 in L-P.
The proper Wisconsin costume that should leave no mistake as to the state is a badger. The animal, because dressing as a miner is to obscure, while dressing in a red outfit for the Badgers is cheating while being all some people can manage. No other state is called the badger state.
Dressing as a can of Old Milwaukee or a Budweiser might be good for a more controversial outfit.
Cheese is not necessarily Wisconsin and it needs to be colby if you dress as cheese, for Colby Wisconsin. I’d prefer to dress as a better cheese, but you need the word colby on your label, for the clarification that it’s Wisconsin.
You could go as a hodag and that plants you in Rhinelander Wisconsin. I think there are enough folklore monster lovers out there to have people get the connection. I don’t think everybody will though.
Dress as an Ertl toy tractor.
If you wore a costume designed to represent the state of Ohio, you’d be short and wide. Which wouldn’t make you stand out from a lot of other Ohioans.
Or you could enlist the aid of your family, and dress as a giant buckeye pursued by a horde of rabid squirrels.
Wait, I thought you’d have to be round on both ends and high in the middle to be Ohio. [badum, bum]
In honor of our bastard of a state bird I think I’ll be a big fat turkey.
Then I’d beat people up all night, because they really are assholes.
But they are also so tasty, so I guess they’re okay. As long as they’re smothered in gravy with a side of mash.
If the turkey costume got too hot or I got kicked out for biting people I’d come back as a pilgrim.
Well you should go as the Empire State building since NY is the Empire State.
For Oklahoma I would just give my neck a liberal dusting with red makeup.
Oklahoma you wear an oak key, and if you want to go all out you wear an oak key with a stogy. Stogy is the closest I can get Mistokie.
Don’t forget the stinky southern part!
For Maryland, where I live now, the state motto is “Fatti Maschii, Parole Femine” Manly Deeds, Womanly Words. So, I guess I could swing a sledgehammer and talk purty.
For Alberta, where I lived most of my life, I’d dress as a cow with an oil derrick on it’s back. Or paint my neck red.
Oh DUH. “America in Miniature” is also pretty common appellation, so I could just wear a teeny map of America.
And nothing else.
I’d get Alberta if I knew it was Canada, but otherwise I’d wonder if it was Texas. Throw in a Canadian touk and I’d get it for sure.
Tuque! And possibly some lovely bacon.
Zebra has clearly never seen me naked.
Nah–I’ve just been to Starved Rock a couple of times. It’s pretty there. I did the Chicago poem with my big shoulder pads, dude! (the pizza sounds good, though–I googled it).
Hey, if I went as a penny, I could say this to all the cute guys and maybe get a date out of it:" Find a penny, pick it up; all the day you’ll have good luck!"
Now you see why I don’t date…
Well next time you make it to Starved Rock, mosey on over to LaGrotto. You won’t be disappointed.
Isn’t there something about rubbing the nose on Abe’s statue for good luck? If you place it just—oh wait, you’re not a guy 
California = Minerva
Well, since the city of Oslo and surrounding country is also an administrative zone, I’m comming as Saint Hallvard, Oslo’s patron saint.
I’ll be wearing a red tunic, a cape, a helmet and halo, and I’ll be carrying a millstone (papier maché) in one hand and three arrows in the other.
Probably a badger wearing a cheesehead hat, carrying a pitcher of beer and a bloody butcher knife. That way you’ve got all of Wisconsin’s claims to fame represented: badgers, cheese, beer, and serial killers.