So, You're God...

The worry, of course, is that it would all; be rationalised by a lot of theists. So, some would say that I wasn’t the real God, but that their Jehovah/Christ/Allah was. Others would say that I was just testing their faith. But at least for the Buddhists it would just be one more cosmic paradox. (If I did take up a religion, it would have to be some highly refined and abstract kind of Buddhism).

“Be excellent to one another!”

No, no, no. “Be totally excellent to one another!”

Giles: Aw, too bad. I kind of like the idea of disappearing in a puff of logic.

Duuuuuude!!

“Quit fighting over religion and your interpretations of it, because there is no afterlife this will effect. One life here is all you are given, so make it count for all you, and others, need.”

“And Party on, Dudes!”

“The only way into heaven is to give all your money to Winston Smith. Beer is also acceptable depending upon financial status.”

Now consider what would happen if all of these messages appeared, one after the other…

Give your money to me! No, me! No, me!

Look here, you morons. What part of **‘thou shalt not kill’ ** don’t you understand?

Inspired by the 9/11 Onion:

“God angrily clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ rule”

“All assholes, jackasses, terrorists, and perverts must kill themselves. Now.

:smiley:

Either that, or something like

“Von Braun, Zubrin, and Rutan are the chosen ones. Slip the surly bonds of Earth and take humanity to the stars.”

I’d just burp the ABC’s in whatever language was appropriate for the message-ee…

Let 'em chew on that for a couple of millenia!!

If I were God, I’d say the same thing I’d like to put on a bumper sticker:
“My Dog Is A Libertarian.”
…then world peace ensues when everyone is trying to puzzle out what it could possibly mean.

Stop killing each other, that’s my job.

“All your base are belong to us.”

“psyche!”

“From now on, my name is -Gry.”

or

“Yes, the plane would still take off.”

or

“I hope Cecil answers my email.”

BZZZT! No, I’m sorry but “What is genocide and TV Evangelism” is not he correct answer.
But hey, thanks for playing.

“I can’t take it anymore ! I’m destroying Heaven and Hell, then killing Myself ! Goodbye cruel cosmos . . . URK ! ! !”

You know, just to get the ones that haven’t seen it yet.

Is that domain even up yet anymore? I’m too scared to check.