…and you get to make one message to everyone in the world, simultaneously. And they will know, at a deep, instictual level, that this is God, Yahweh, Allah, Shiva, Buddha, speaking to them, and that his/her words are not the result of head injury/dreams, whatever. Sure, they can rationalise later, but at the moment they hear them, it’s totally a “I am the Lord Your God!” moment.
That’s it. No other powers whatsoever. Your stint of as God is just one message, so make it count. Now, what would you put in that message?
“I’ve diabled all your weapons of self/mass destruction, rendered gunpowder and other explosives useless, fixed the damn whole you made in the atmosphere and cleaned up the oceans. Now, play nice with the resources I’ve left you, and listen to Mr Bus Guy, I’m leaving him in charge.”
I demand you all stop what you’re doing and immediately devote all of your resources and engergies to building the biggest statue of Don Knotts you can manage. Oh, and you were way off with Jesus and Mohammed. It was Coltrane you fuckin morons. Coltrane.
“Well, most of you have ignored what I’ve told you up to now, so I’ll try one last time. You must worship and obey Me. I love you all, and I want only the best for you, so… be kind to each other. Help each other. Don’t kill, injure, insult or oppress one another in My name, or because you’re different from each other in cosmically-insignificant ways, or because you covet or hate this or that tiny little parcel of land. After observing human nature for so long, I’ve come to the firm conclusion that constitutional democracy, individual liberty, a market economy and the rule of law work best; see to it. Take care of My planet in all its beauty, and use its resources wisely. One last thing: If you ignore what I’ve said this time, I’ll be coming down sometime in the near future - I’m not telling you when - and then there’s gonna be some heavy-duty wailing and gnashing of teeth. Neither of us want that. If anyone tells you that they know what I want, inconsistent with what I’ve just said, they’re wrong, and they’ll be hearing from Me. My blessings upon you all.”
As an atheist, I’d have to say: “I do not exist. Just deal with that. But that does not mean that ethics doesn’t exist. Jesus of Nazareth was right about one thing: the Golden Rule.”
Well, I’d imagine that’s why you only get one message. See, we know God exists because we have no proof that He exists. But after letting everyone on earth know You exist via a bona fide miracle, You’d disappear in a puff of logic.
