Your rich, crazy great-uncle Loopy finally kicks off, and it’s your turn to hear what sort of scheme he has for your inheritance. The lawyer informs you that one year from this date, you will step on an accurately-calibrated scale (naked – no filling your pockets with rocks!) and be given your weight in gold. You can do with it what you will, but keep in mind that selling it would be at the price one year from now (at the moment it’s roughly $1,200/oz., or $19,200/lb.) – let’s hope it doesn’t drop too much in the next year.
I’d currently pull in $3,360,000 – not a bad payday at all, but I think I’d be a bit greedy. I figure I’ll be able to afford some pretty damn good nutritionists and weight trainers, so if these folks can help me bulk up to 220 in a healthyish fashion, then that would put me at $4,224,000. The costs for paying off that help won’t come near to the extra $864,000 it’d gain me, so it would basically be a matter of getting paid to get in shape.
So, what’s your plan? Do you gorge on weight-gain shakes and potatoes for every meal? Do you figure that even at your current weight, that’s going to be a lot of money so why bother with the health risks? Of course, one pound of gold at today’s price would pay for a good liposuction job. How are you going to take advantage of 'ol Loopy’s eccentricities?
I’m with Scarlett. My weight loss is going quite nicely, and there is no need to get greedy. Even at my “ideal” weight I’ll still get better than $3 million at today’s prices. Even if gold collapses, I’ll still get at least $1.5 mil, so why worry about my weight? If I did get greedy, then I’d spend the year at the gym every waking minute, trying to replace fat with muscle.
Yeah, even if I lost 40 or 50 lbs that would still be an awesome amount of gold. I’d probably work towards being a bit healthier (no sense in gorging and having a heart attack so I can’t enjoy my gold next year!) but not aim towards any type of weight loss. Then in 366 days I will find the finest personal trainer and work towards losing weight now that I don’t need to spend most of my day at work anymore.
I’m in this exact same boat. I certainly don’t have any need or desire to bulk up, and at my current weight, I’ll be plenty rich. And I sure as hell am not about to start spending a lot of money in anticipation of receiving money in the future.
What’s the easiest way to gain a bunch of water weight leading up to the weigh-in (other than drinking a bunch of water)? High in salt foods for a few months?
In the early 2000’s Jerry Lewis was taking Prednisone and swelled up like a balloon. Before/after shot here. His head looked like a carrying case for a normal-sized head. According to Mr. Lewis:
I’m big enough that even if I do not gain an ounce over the next year, we’re still talking about “Kiss My Ass” money. So, I won’t be making any major changes to my current lifestyle.
Of course, with my luck, I’ll get a rare, non-fatal wasting disease that will drop me down to about 98 pounds by weigh in time. Still, 98 pounds of gold isn’t bad. It’s enough to retire on, with careful management…
I don’t think the OP took into account the conversion between avoirdupois pounds and troy pounds. So at $1,200 a troy ounce, a 170-lb man will not receive $3.264 million but only around $2.975 million. All values in this thread should probably be adjusted by a reduction of approximately 10 percent.
Get pregnant, lack-of-relationship be damned. (N.B., of course I wouldn’t even consider this if I didn’t want a kid, but given the stated conditions and my current age and circumstances, this seems like it actually wouldn’t be a bad idea.)
I’m currently in line for about 4.8 million – not too shabby. But I wouldn’t need to work very hard at all – just fall back into some old bad habits – to add close to another million to that total. Eating anything I want and being lazy for a year would not amount to a big sacrifice as far as I’m concerned.
I’ll take the gamble that I won’t drop dead in the interim; after I have the money, I can surely afford the help it’ll take to get and stay fit.
Yeah, no, four mil is good. The most I might do differently is chug a half-gallon of supersaturated sugar water immediately prior to the weighing, assuming I could find a place to pee shortly afterward. (If not, I suppose I’d just pee wherever I happened to be, 'cause hey, I’d have four million dollars.)
