So you've been elected President

There’s a famous quote: “It’s a pity all the people who know how to run the country are driving cabs or cutting hair”.

Pretty mundane and pointless I know, but this got me to thinking: if you were President what changes would you make to the way things are run? Increase speed limits? Free beer for all? Make pot legal?

Diagonal parking spaces.

That would make me the first female President. I’d create a new department: a harem of males whose sole job would be to fan me and peel grapes for me. :wink:

What would I seriously do? Try to (sensibly) straighten out Welfare and Social Security. I think both programs fill a valid need but could be done better.

Issue an executive order to destroy any records that reveal that I voted for George W Bush.

I would decriminalize non-violent drug offenses. I would also instate tougher penalties for murderers, gang bangers, and rapists.

I don’t like the idea that someone busted for a pound of drugs is getting more jail time than someone who took another person’s life.

I would abolish all laws that are supposed to be “for your own good.” So that’s the end of the war on drugs, for a start.

Then I would rewrite the tax code so that the tax returns can be limited to:

  1. How much did you earn?
  2. Send x% of everything above $y.

(I’d need a bit of help calculating x and y, and if I duck the numbers at this time, it mught stop the thread getting hi-jacked.)

Then I would enact a “loser pays” legal system.

Then I’d break for lunch.

I would give giant subsidies to Stroehmann’s and Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey. Bread and circuses for everyone!

I would exempt work-study positions from SSI earnings figuring.

I’d unilaterally reduce our stockpile of nukes to zero. If they’d let me.

I would invade Mexico. Just for the training experience. About time someone finish the job that was bungled back in 1848.

I would put up taxes on cigarettes and funnel the money into the National Health Service. I work for the NHS. I’m not biased or nuthin.

I would frequent the GD forum and get advice from all of the regulars.

I would convince all employers that a 4 day work week for their employees would increase their profits. Oh… and lets not do that 10 hour day either. I am thinking a 30 - 32 hour work week.

I would tackle this health care problem. We have superb health care if only you can access it.

I would see all of the good ACC basketball games live.

I would paint the White House a pretty color…like purple. Grow a palm tree in the complex. See what the thermostat is set in the White House. Play with the Secret Service’s guns. Lob a few bombs at a France for the hell of it and see if they’ll surrender.

But seriously. Tack onto NAFTA requirements for the other countries to have some environmental and labor protection laws. Raise taxes back up so maybe, just maybe, the government would have enough money to do what it has to do(* that tax and spend democrat! *). Throw a bunch of corrupt CEOs in jail. Generally piss business people off. Get voted out of office and spend the rest of my life building homes and traveling around to impoverished countries and then win the Nobel Peace Prize.

Oh yeah. I would need to arm wrestle Congress into doing all that huh. Dang.