Solve a Movie Disagreement with a Funny Compromise

Before WWI, Winston Churchill was involved in debates over government spending on dreadnoughts – the Admiralty wanted to build six, Churchill’s party wanted to economize and build just four. As the dreadnought race with Germany heated up and the world built toward war, they increased the building program, leading to Churchill’s famous quip, “The Conservatives wanted six; the Liberals wanted four; we compromised on eight.”

Recently, my wife expressed a desire to see the last movie in the Twilight canon, Breaking Dawn. I wanted to see Spielberg’s Lincoln, also in theaters at the same time. Ultimately, we made two separate movie dates, but it occurred to me that, for this particular case, the perfect compromise movie exists: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Somewhat pleased with my own wit, I decided this would be another movie-themed game. To wit:

Pick any two movies that spouses might disagree on, and suggest a funny “compromise movie” they could see together instead.

No requirement that the movies actually be in theaters simultaneously, or that your putative spouse would actually want to see them.

If you think people might not get the reason it’s funny, spoilerbox it.


I wanted to see Das Boot, she wanted to see Strictly Ballroom; we compromised on Titanic.

I had to watch fancy dancing, but at least the ship sinks.

I wanted to see Forest Gump. He wanted to see Rain Man. We compromised on Dumb and Dumber.

I wanted to see Run Lola Run. My husband wanted to see Notting Hill. We compromised on Fight Club. Then we saw the other two movies too. We both loved all three.

Not all women only want to see romantic comedies and not all men want to only see macho movies. Luckily my husband and I both like good movies of any genre.

He wanted to see My Left Foot. She wanted to see War Horse. They settled on Did You Hear About the Morgans**?**

You’re absolutely right: my wife wanted to watch a poignant drama where Patrick Swayze professes his undying love for Demi Moore, but I’m a light-comedy guy at heart: gimme Jack Lemmon and Ted Danson with quips from Olympia Dukakis, y’know? So we compromised by watching GHOST DAD.

I wanted to see Five Easy Pieces, she wanted to see The 39 Steps; we wound up seeing…Catch-22

I wanted to see Tootsie. He wanted to see Yentl. We saw Victor/Victoria.

Man impersonates woman. Woman impersonates man. Woman impersonates man impersonating woman.

Well, there’s one of those compromises where nobody’s happy…

She wanted to see The Red Shoes; he wanted to see She Wore a Yellow Ribbon; they ended up seeing A Clockwork Orange.

She wanted to see Scrooge. I wanted to see Dream.

We compromised by seeing Scream.

She wanted to see Harry Potter. I wanted to see Clash of the Titans. We compromised and watched Percy Jackson.

The sad truth of that is those were the real choices that year.

She wanted to see Arthur. I wanted to see Monty Python and the Holy Grail. We ended up seeing Excalibur.

How do you figure? She wanted to see GHOST, and I wanted to see DAD, so we settled on GHOST DAD. (It was nothing like that time she wanted to see THE SHADOW and I wanted to see DOC SAVAGE; we of course went with PULP FICTION.)

Heh…sorry. I was being too literal. I was just sayin’…outside of the joke there, Ghost Dad is nothing anyone really wants to see…

I wanted to see “A Christmas Carol.” She wanted to see “Toy Story.” We compromised with “A Christmas Story.”

She wanted to see Glitter. I wanted to see Showgirls.

We compromised by agreeing that our combined tastes created a massive black hole of cinema suckage, and we should never attempt to watch a movie again lest we doom the world.

I wanted to see A Christmas Story. She wanted to to see The Man Who Would be King. We ended up seeing King Ralph.

My husband likes the romantic comedy genre better than I do. We can usually get along in the categories of science fiction, fantasy, or suspense. Some comedies we can agree on, too. I don’t care for the “serious drama” genre.

She wanted to see Saturday Night Fever, I wanted to see One Night in Paris ;), so we settled on Boogie Nights!


I wanted to see Country, she wanted to see Grumpy Old Men, so we ended up seeing No Country for Old Men!