I’m trying to convince a friend of mine to start smoking, but with all the negative stereotypes out there it’s proving to be a difficult argument.
Enough with all the bad things associated with the habit, please help me find as many positive things about it as there are.
That you won’t have to worry about buying graduation presents for you grandchildren.
We need people who will continue to support the tobacco companies. At this point many state and county government’s budgets need the money from the tobacco settlement to remain solvent.
And that ignores the way that those same budgets count on various sin tax income to stay close to the black.
It’s one’s simple civic duty to smoke.
No need to contribute to one of those pesky 401k plans.
That all-pervading smoker’s stench can mask a multitude of other personal hygene shortcomings.
When i read the title for some reason i was thinking of weed.
Well i got nothing to support tobacco.
You’ll die sooner, thereby doing your part to improve urban overcrowding.
Your case of lung cancer will be another one in the lung cancer tally, thereby improving the odds someone somewhere will donate money to cancer research.
Smokers are the silent heroes of modern day society. Hell they should build the Tomb of the Unknown Smoker in Washington. Who do you think pays all the taxes and excises that allow the nation to build hospitals and schools, fund police forces and fire brigades…smokers, that’s who. Brave citizens willing to risk their lives for the benefit of others. Certainly not your gutless, cowardly, “concientious objector” non smokers who merely sponge of the many packs a day smoked by the brave men and women commited to alife behind the butt. No they are not willing to even smoke a few a day to lighten the load for the dedicated few.
Every night I tell my children to pray for the survival and further smoking of those willing to smoke, because mum and dad are just too pathetic to smoke for their own kids welfare.
It just looks so cool.
The Perfect Master covered Health Benefits of smoking in a column.
Although the gist of the thing is negative…so I got nothing.
Voice of experience here.
It’s hard to get someone started on it. It tastes nasty, it’s expensive, and it will lose him some friends.
But once your friend starts, he will come up with his own reasons to continue. They will be perfectly logical to him. Welcome to addiction.
I plan on quitting by Christmas. The EasyWay.
I always envied the damn smokers because they got to get up from their desk and go outside to bullshit with each other for a few minutes every hour or so.
I should add that I am a nonsmoker, and do not enjoy the taste of cigarettes. I am just trying to get someone else to smoke. And am seeking convincing arguments.
So enough with the anti-smoking nonsense in this thread!
This is in fact the only ‘good’ reason I have ever found.
Specifically: in every office I’ve worked in, the big guys and the little guys all go down to whatever smoking area has been decided on (rarely, it seems, is it the one duly designated by the PTB) and smoke and bullshit.
So here you are, smoking a cigarette with your boss’s boss’s boss, talking about your project. Or Hell, about Guitar Hero. Boss<sup>3</sup> asks you a serious question. You finally manage to say something you haven’t been able to get out in a meeting. He says “I didn’t know that! We’ll have to get that sorted out.”
This happens to me all the time. I don’t smoke, though. I go out when the migration happens and drink my coffee. The ashtray is even better than a water cooler.
Let me guess: you plan on needing a kidney transplant in 20 or so years, and he matches your type?
You never have to worry about your teeth being too white.
Close.
My friend and I have entered into an agreement in which I am due a large sum of money if I outlive him. I’ve researched polonium already, and outright murder would not be conducive to my goals since it would be followed by a sizable amount of imprisonment time.
I figure that my best shot is to get him to kill himself sooner rather than later, and I believe that if he takes up smoking it would help my chances.
He already has enough bad habits, of eating bad and not exercising, but smoking would be the topping on the ice cream. I’ve already established a routine of dropping him off a McDonalds value meal at his door every night, then ringing the doorbell and hiding in the bushes. He loves it! He picks up every one with glee. You should see the happy expression on his face every Chicken Nugget Thursday. He doesn’t ask, and doesn’t care.
My problem is the cigs though. I could do the same thing, but he wouldn’t smoke them. I need to get him into the habit, and then it’s a Big Mac and a pack every night. That’s the equivalent of my yellow bricked road.
God help me for knowing this, but there’s an episode of Friend’s where Rachel tries to start smoking just so she can shmooz (sp?) with the boss during smoke breaks.
The fires you start whilst smoking in bed & dozing off will be very diverting to watch.
Start a tradition where you and your friend seek out the finer things in life.
Sample some expensive caviar.
Taste some of the finest wines.
Enjoy a nice glass of Napoleon brandy with a very fine cigar.
Start with the $25 or so cigar.
Slowly wean your friend down to the $2 - 5 pack of Swisher Sweets.
Wait a week or so, then as your friend is seeming mysteriously agitated, sweaty, nervous etc. offer him a Camel Light. Watch that wave of joy come over his face.
Of course, by this time, you will have picked up the habit as well. Just go to your doctor and ask for some Chantrix. You kick your habit while nuturing your friends.
Good luck with the tontine.