I was doing some research at the library today, and was taking the elevator back down to the lobby. I was the only one in the elevator, and so I thought it safe to pass gas without fear of complaints. I walked out of the elevator, and a nine year old boy walked into the opened elevator. I saw him stop abruptly and kind of wrinkle his nose, then whirl around and stare daggers at me while shouting, “It was YOU!” :eek:
I guess this is some sort of karmic payback for last month 
BWAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for the laugh–I needed one today.
Thank Og the act was farting. I feared worse.
Not that I’d want anyone to know I had farted. Not that I fart. After all, I am a woman, and everyone knows we produce nothing but the most pleasant aromas. And roses sprout in the wake of our footsteps.
Hahahaha.
Its **much worse ** for the nine-year old kid, you see.
His nose is just around the same level as… umm… your release valve.
Gas was just floating around his face.
That depends on the relative heights of the parties involved. Not that it isn’t still gross or funny.
Oh come on, there’s such easy responses to that…everything from “You shouldn’t make fun of medical situations, young man”, through to “I haven’t washed since my grandmother died…I still have her body…do you want me to show you what books to read? wide grin”
(And yes, I have actually used one of those lines…)
And you’re not going to tell us which one? Not fair.
Isn’t it more fun to just pick what one you want it to be?
I’ve done that already.
Better yet is to be on the elevator with the 9 year old, and just before it stops for other passengers to board… ‘DING’ ‘Braaaappp’ :eek:
Then look accusingly at the lad as others enter the elevator. 
Go look up the “vapors” that women in corsets used to suffer from…
In 20th (and now 21st) century literature, “vapors” seems to refer to the tendency to faint. However, in the 19th century, it was a euphamism for “passing gas”. A woman in a tight corset was extremely likely to pass gas, so the excuse of “having vapors” was a way of being able to leave the room before the fact without offending anyone.
If anyone out there has ever worn clothing with tighter-than-necessary waistlines, you probabably have experienced this too, although probably not with the intensity caused by corsets…
Heh heh. I have a friend who lives in co-op housing, and I noticed that someone on the board really goes to town with taping scolding notes (printed in Comic Sans MS on coloured paper) demanding more considerate behaviour from members. “Please stop leaving litter in the lobby, it reflects poorly on other members,” etc.
One day I was feeling a little mischievous and taped up a sign of my own, same font, same coloured paper, and same general tone:
It stayed up for a couple of weeks. I larfed.
Incubus, you realize, of course, that this now officially makes you a “smelly old person”.
Why choose the elevator? That’s just evil. It’s going to hang in there for a long time. Do it some place where there is ventilation.