Two questions, one basically the reverse of the other. I’m going to skip the one-night stand kind of questions since I assume that limited time means limited methods. So, for long term relationships:
Does male gay sex always mean anal sex. I guess my thought is that there’s a limited number of orifices and, frankly, penises are intended for orifices. With my wife, there’s an alternative orifice so anal sex isn’t on our sexual table.
Similarly, does long-term lesbian sex always mean dildos or similar toys are involved. Again, there’s a orifice that’s designed to get pleasure from a object the female partner doesn’t have. Therefore…
I know, non-PC, etc. but if I can’t ask a non-PC question on the Dope, then where can I?
Some do, of course, for both questions. But “always” is a big generalisation. There’s lots of stuff on the 'net, but this is a magazine report I quickly found that suggests that not all gay relationships are founded on anal.
First question: not at all. We’ve been together almost 28 years, and though we’ve had lots of “anal play,” we’ve never had what you’d call “anal sex.” And I’m wondering why, for you and your wife, “anal sex isn’t on [your] sexual table,” preceded by the word “so” . . . as if it’s a forgone conclusion that one hole is enough, and it’s always her hole, never yours.
Second question: I’ll let the ladies speak for themselves.
I’d say the majority of lesbian sex involves no dildos or toys. The VAST majority. See, we can make love with our clothes on, make each other come in public, enjoy a wide range of positions and acts that straight people and gay men can’t even contemplate. We come in a restaurant, with a finger. On a plane, with just pressure, under a blanket. At home we encircle each other’s body like we’re one organism.
This might depend on what you’re defining as “sex”. If you’re defining it as “penis inserted into an orifice that isn’t displayed in polite society”, then yeah, anal sex is about the only option for gay men, and lesbians can’t have sex at all. But that’s an extremely narrow definition. There is a huge variety of other sexual acts possible, such as insertion of the penis between a partner’s thighs, or stimulation of an erogenous zone with hands, mouths, or other parts of the body. And even there, there’s a wide variety of erogenous zones which can be used, some depending on the individuals involved.
I think he means an alternative to the main one. Assuming there are three potential orifii, and the anus isn’t an option, one of the other two is the main and the other is the alternative.
OP: What makes you think that “penises are intended for orifices”? It’s obviously not the case that orifices are intended for penises. And who is doing all this intending? My partner can bring me to orgasm with any part of his body, or not even touching me.
Hi - back again - hasn’t been long - fast topic growth.
Yes, oral is in our playbook but it’s spice, not meat and potatoes, so to speak.
Generally I define “sex” as “anything that can lead to orgasm” but for me, 99% of the time, that’s vaginal sex. I guess I know of lots of woman that will say that anal play is off the menu, it’s never been on mine, I guess.
So, maybe my view of sex is just too narrow. I figure it must involve an orifice and a penis-shaped object as the primary method.
I’m envious, although I suspect that while he may be uniquely talented, it says as much about your ability to orgasm as it does about his ability to make it happen.
