Some observations about my new country (Ireland)--Attempts at humour within

Ok, so, here’s a list of the stuff that I find interesting/amusing/odd:

  1. We only just got a phone, two weeks after we asked for one.

  2. Weird Catch 22 dealie: You cannot get a bank account without having proof of residence. They won’t take a signed lease showing your address. They want an ESB Bill. They take one month to arrive. Here’s the funny bit: Guess what ESB wants before they agree to our contract? Right. A direct withdrawal from our bank account that we cannot get until we get an ESB bill. And around we go, doe-see-doe.

  3. There are about a bazillion kids here and the only National School is 3 miles away. They’re not even considering building one here.

  4. As far as I can gather, there isn’t one single outdoor play area or park in the entire city.

  5. Supermacs tastes so good but it makes all of us ill afterwards.

  6. The lady minding our B&B informed me that she’d been to two places in the States: Miami and Florida. You see, she landed in Miami and then drove to Florida (Orlando). To her, the whole of Florida consists of Disneyland. Miami is a different place alltogether.

  7. People will attempt to help you discipline your child on public transport. Humour ensues as I try to imagine what most Yanks would do if a 50something school marmy woman came over, sat down and said, “Come 'ere an I’ll tell ya…you should get her out of nappies today. Here’s how you do it.”

  8. There’s so many Germans here! What are they, teleporting or something?

  9. Driving on the left is one thing. Driving with the gearshifts on the left is another thing altogether. Yikes!!

  10. Cab drivers know everything about everything. Really.

  11. I’m not sure if it’s me or what, but why do all these Irish girls have really dark tans and blonde hair? It’s like South Beach Miami in town on a Saturday night. Don’t they feel the COLD?

Sure that’s only a short stretch of the legs :wink:

Tastes good and Supermacs in the same sentence does not compute.

You should try Donegal. Positively crawling with them. Last time I was up there I had to even listen to a um-pa-pa band in the bar we were drinking in :eek:

Bunch of know alls that know fuck all IMO (I got taxi driver issues)

Cold? Sure it was probably a lovely soft night :wink:

Fake tans are the work of Satan.

That was pretty good going!

I had that problem when I first arrived. The fix? Have parents somewhere else in Ireland. I was amused to see on the form: “Address”, then “Home address”. Not having this, either, a letter from a priest would have done (honestly!).

“Tastes” “good”? What planet are you from, woman?

I came here from Oxford, which is in London. The Lake District is in London, too, as is Kent, the South Coast, and Cornwall.

I am guessing your window gets inadvertantly wound down a lot these days?

Listen to them, they are wise.

I assure you, far from being the work of Satan, this is better than the blue-white alternative.

Taxi Drivers in Dublin know nothing. At all.

  1. Weird political referenda on things the rest of the civilised world takes for granted. In fact - political activism in general. Though I suspect that this is just Dublin.

Yes - that really affected me in DubDope 2002.

pan

What’s a “Supermac?”

Supermacs are a chain of sub-par burger/fried chicken/pizza joints that are all over Ireland. IMO they make McDonalds seem like a 5 star restaurant.

I presume that a supermac is the equivalent of a Big Mac or Whopper.

Ahh, I understand your scorn. Non-food.

OH GOD. SUPERMACS.
tell me you havn’t gone to abrakebabra yet…

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! DON’T GO!

Heresy!!!

Supermacs chicken is the business! And a big ole Abrakebabra…
I lived on those things once upon a time. Totally different from genuine kebab, but fantastic in it’s own way :slight_smile:

How is the bus system over your way Anahita? We noticed that even though there was a published time schedule, the bus was not obliged to arrive at the dictated time. It showed up when it bloody well wanted too.

Don’t worry duckie. You’ll soon get used to having the gearshift and all on the left. Just know where reverse is. This is very important! I drove from Heathrow to Wales not knowing where reverse was. Had to do some very interesting parking :dubious:

Abrakebabra… Ah yes. We were warned to avoid that place like the plague… Probably part of the menu by the sounds of things…

Hope you’re getting settled in and your head is feeling better.

Washte

The bus system isn’t too bad, actually. We’re a bit far out and the bus stops every 30 minutes during peak times and every hour during off-peak (including Sundays) right in front of our door. It’s not great, but for 1E you can’t beat it.

We’ll be getting a car as soon as we figure out a way to pay for it. (See, we have the money, but we cannot get the bank to transfer it, because we have to put the transfer order in IN PERSON, which we cannot do. Long drama. Car=Freedom)

Re: Abrakebabra

The funniest thing I’ve seen in a very very long time was an advert in the “Appointments” section of the Irish Times (or maybe another paper?) where they were looking for managers to go to open shops of Abrakebabra in the Persian Gulf. How hilarious is that? Going to Yemen to offer them your fine Irish kebabs! Ha!