… stupid.
yes. and?
<Gumby> MY BRAIN HURTS!! </Gumby>
May I be excused? My brain is full.
while others are so dammed…
…laconic.
[celestina sits in the back row of the coffee house, watches Royal Sampler and Red Fury and the rest perform their art live, and snaps her fingers along with the rest of the audience]
Wow. That’s some DEEP shit.
Say some more? I just love poetry.
Yeah. Yeah. People are stupid. Like your next door neighbor, that fat fuck who’s in the driveway right now hosing down the hood of his Camaro. Don’t you just want to go out there, grab the garden hose, and wrap it around his fuckin’ neck until his face turns blue and his eyes bulge out? Until his pudgy Pillsbury Doughboy body starts flailing around like a trout on methamphetamines?
Then when that ugly snaggletoothed bitch across the street, you know, the one walkin’ that ratty little dog that barks like a ferret being eviscerated with a boning knife, starts screamin’ and yellin’ “CALL 911! CALL 911!!” like that coked-up slut cheerleader you never got to bang in high school, don’t you just wanna point the still-watering hose at her an’ scream “You’re next, Arctic Snatch!” (thanks Billy) and chase 'er up the street, foaming at the mouth?
And then when you can hear those stupid police sirens coming around the corner of the fuckin’ hellhole neighborhood you live in, don’t you just wanna bust your hand right through the window of that white SUV? You know, the one with the gold trim that the rich guy’s fuckhole wife, the sneering substitute for a cum-filled blowup doll, who’s always parkin’ that big fucking hulk of a vehicle right in front of the door where you pick your two snotnosed kids up from school? Yeah, you just wanna bust your fist right through the window of that goldassholemobile like that guy you saw on COPS once. The shirtless kid who was wacked out on PCP and broke every bone in his hand but still went on punchin’ at the cops. Yeah, that witless fuck.
Those fuckin’ action movies you drag your sorry ass to at that filthy-shit theater by your house taught you two things about hotwiring cars: JACK and SHIT. Doesn’t it just piss you off when you gotta fumble with the wires for a while before you can get the engine going? And those fuckin’ donut-chasing slabs of bacon are comin’ down the street? And you tell yourself you shouldn’t be worried because those lardass motherfuckers who pretend they protect your neighborhood couldn’t catch M&Ms in their mouths if the department used your hard-earned property taxes to buy them a fuckin’ M&M cannon? But then one of those dumbshits takes out the taillight when you’re screamin’ out of the driveway?
And when that diamond-studded cunt comes runnin’ out the door screamin’ about her property, don’t you just wish you had a sawed-off shotgun? Stupid ATF! Why can’t everybody own an illegally modified shotgun? It would SURE AS HELL INCREASE CIVILITY IN THIS DAMN COUNTRY!!
People are so fucking stupid, I swear. The bastards don’t even speed up or get outta your goddamn way when you’re speedin’ down the highway at 110 mph tryin’ to outrun the pigs! But let some pregnant broodmare with snaggle teeth and a drunken mullet husband at the wheel start screamin’ that she’s about to pop out another future bunkmate in juvenile hall, and those cars will clear out like the highway’s her personal red carpet. Let the kid pop right out of the sow’s grimy cunt like a Pop-Tart from an extremely slimy toaster in the back seat of the White Trashmobile, YOU’VE GOT PLACES TO BE!!
Don’t you just hope that COPS is on the scene with those stupid excrement processing plants, so everyone in the country could see those incompetent sons-of-bitches involved in some sort of pursuit that doesn’t involve either the Krispy Kreme or the toilet in the men’s room? Yeah, you’d really like to see how those minimum wage rent-a-cops are going to pay for the damage to your car tires. DOES NO ONE IN THIS COUNTRY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES ANYMORE?!?!? What is this spike strip shit? Everybody knows the cops gotta lean out the window and SHOOT THE TIRES OUT.
And how about the people that are slowing down on the highway to watch as the wheels strip off their shoddily made rims? That four pieces of drywall surrounding an engine you’re driving is a real piece of shit but people buy them anyway so they can get fake gold paint put on them and go tooling around town and show up at PTA meetings and go “Oh! Look! I own a moving piece of gold! Please wipe my self-important ass for me!” Those people slowing down to watch probably think you’re one of those disgruntled housewives who’s married to some impotent fuck who owns a Christian hardwood furniture store. Yeah, those housewives. The ones who haven’t gotten any cock for so long they snap one day when they’re puttin’ the kids in the back seat and start mowing people down with their cars.
But those dumb fuckers who watch you as your car turns into a smoking pile of shit and metal. Don’t you hate stupid people like that? Don’t you just want to bury their desecrated bodies in unholy ground outside of Tempe, Arizona and - - -
Uh.
Not that I’ve ever done anything like that, mind you.
Hey celestina, how’s that for poetry? 
{wistle}
Ya!
Woo-Hoo!
All right!
{/wistle}
Daowajan, that wasn’t poetry. That was fucking ART. Thanks for sharin’, man.
[celestina contemplates going to throw up now]
And I thought this was going to link us to a new Chick tracked telling us **why[/] we’re all so damned.
(Oh God, I hope the OP isn’t about me!!)
The moral of this story is not to have multiple browser windows open on messageboards which all use different codes…
BRAVO! BRAVO!
<ring ring>
“Hello?”
…
“Uh-huh”
…
“Yeah it was awesome, wasn’t it?”
…
“Mm-hmm. Yeah. OK, I’ll pass that on.”
<click>
Hey Daowajan, that was Hollywood. They love your work and want you to write the screenplay to the sequel for Falling Down**.
Celestina, no seas ladina
tu rostro asomas, y de sarcasmo enfermas
lo que Furia Roja, sanamente escribio en la hoja
y por si fuese poco, me vuelves loco
pidiendo mas donde solo hay menos
Basta ya, Celestina! Para la proxima, afina.
*Some people are so dammed…cynical
[celestina steps up to the mike and taps it to see if it’s working. The thump-thump reverberates reassuringly throughout the room. She smiles a little nervously and adjusts the mike to reach her height.]
[giggle] Perhaps I shouldn’t clarify this since we’re in the Pit, but, Daowajan, I didn’t mean your ART made me want to puke, although some of what you mentioned did make me a little queasy. I’d been drinking last night. I’m happy to report I didn’t puke. So are you going to accept the position to write the sequel to Falling Down? Can I say I knew you when? 
Red Fury,
!Que poema interesante! La manera en que lo escribiste es fascinante. 
Lo siento que mi rostro guapa te frustres a ti.
Estoy dotada de estupidez.
Me siento el alegre de la vida
Y tengo que reirse y jugar y amar.
Quizas soy cinica. No se.
No me importa a mi el grado del cinismo que yo tengo.
Para mi, la vida no es una competicion de ser ladina o no.
Aunque, estoy ladina.
Es una oportunidad deseminar el amor.
!Carajo! !Estoy muy seria hoy! ?Donde esta los payasos?
[celestina exits the stage.]
[celestina re-enters the stage.]
Lo siento. El poema que reciti no es correcto. Ahem. Debe ser eso:
Lo siento que mi rostro guapa te frustres a ti.
Estoy dotada de estupidez.
Me siento a mi el alegre de la vida
Y tengo que reirse y jugar y amar.
Quizas soy cinica. No se.
No me importa a mi el grado del cinismo que yo tengo.
Para mi, la vida no es una competicion de ser ladina o no.
Aunque, soy ladina.
Soy una bruja muy poderosa.
Tengas cuidado. Te hechizaras a ti.
Pero, para mi, la vida es mas o menos
Una oportunidad deseminar el amor.
Gracias para su tiempo.
[celestina exits the stage.]