Oh, yeah, and another thing that bugs me:
On every single reality dating show I’ve ever seen, each and every episode seems to be everyone proclaiming someone as being “amazing”… constantly. I’m sick to death of that word already.
My father does this. We make fun of him, but it’s apparently a Pennsylvania speech quirk. A few years ago the guy running the Christmas tree lot pegged him as a Pennsylvania man for it immediately. It’s been 40 years since he moved away and it’s still apparent.
While we’re on the subject of bathroom:
Look my fellow men, I know some of you are self-conscious, but why must you insist on rolling out half the toilet paper on the roll to create a “shield” for the inch-wide gap between the door and the stall frame? It’s not only wasting paper, but it means I can’t see if anyone’s there so I will pull on it, and barring that, will actually look at the ground to see if your legs are there. Who feels self-conscious now?
I noticed this on subway restrooms in England. They were labelled “male toilets” and “female toilets”.
Now, this is my own strange little mind at work. When I think of gender with regard to household appliances, I think of plugs and adaptors - commonly called “male” when they have the sticking-out bit, and “female” when they have the bit to stick things in. (And you have gender labeling issues with restrooms?) Needless to say, the thought of a “male” toilet is unappealing, at best.
mischievous
I can’t play the 4th movement of Mozart’s Symphony No. 40 any faster than half note equals 116, no matter how much I practice.
I hate it when my mom always puts her hand over her mouth and talks. I can’t understand her, so I tell her so, and then she denies having done it, and then I say, “Ma, you just did it!” and we argue.
At Red Lobster (at least the one I went to), they’re labelled “Sheshell” and “Heshell”, which was great fun.
Attention fellow posters: There is no need to quote the entire OP, especially if you’re the first to respond. You may quote the entire OP after a lengthy hijack or on multiple paged threads only if the OP is relatively short. Otherwise, you can (I swear, you really can) choose to quote only the part of the OP to which you wish to respond, and delete the rest.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t even close to being a rule, so no accusations of junior modding, but fuck if it isn’t annoying. Also, if you’re linking to one thread in another, it would be nice if you could include a little note that says, “Hey, this thread is about 10,000 years old. I’m using it for reference only and I do not expect discussion to continue there”.
Also, “This link is not work safe” is so easy to type, there’s really no reason not to do so when linking to, oh I dunno, games that include a giant robot getting Lady Liberty in the ass. There should be a rule on that if there isn’t already (and I don’t think there is) IMO.
And to you, Brother, when I call over there and ask to speak with someone, it means I’d like to talk to them. When I say, “Hey, let me talk to [Dad, Mom, your cat]” your response should be either, “They’re not home” or “Sure, hang on a sec” not, “What are you doing? Why do you want to talk to them? What are your plans today? Are you coming over? You should come over. Blahblahblahblahblah.”
Similarily, if someone calls to talk to me it’s because they want to talk to ME, not you. Give me the fucking phone before I beat you to death with it. My sister did that all the time when she was staying with me. See how I said “when she was staying with me”? Thank god that’s over.
I really hate it when people use double quotes to “freaking” emphasize words.
But what’s even “worse” is when “people” “overuse” “double” quotes “for” “many” “short” “terms” “like” in the “freaking” Zagat “guides.”
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Those magazine inserts that make a casual bathroom-style flip-through an exercise in reading the same article over and over.
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Soup slurping
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In relationship-centered reality shows, how as the field gets narrower, the chooser inevitably says “Now it’s getting real.”
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RTS games that are clearly missing an obvious control command.
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When commercials become more frequent as you get farther into a show/movie.
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People who stand left on escalators/moving sidewalks.
I’m exactly the same way. I’ll flip through the radio presets a half-dozen times before resorting to the CD changer. At home, I set the MP3 player is set to random shuffle the entire collection instead of picking individual songs or albums.
It’s true for TV shows and movies as well. Prime example: I’ve owned Pulp Fiction on tape and DVD for as long as its been available for purchase. I think I’ve dug it out maybe once or twice to watch (I’m not even sure I’ve watched the DVD at all except for the extras). but, If I’m flipping channels and it’s on I’ll always stop to watch it, even though it’s usually at least halfway over.
Oh, forgot my peeve…
Whenever I take my car for service or to be washed or whatever, why do they need to move the driver’s seat? It’s only being driven a few hundred feet, at most. I’d think the workers could deal with a seat not adjusted to their own specs.
Yes, exactly! Thank you for putting words to that feeling.
Also:
Why do people insist on spoiling movies that I haven’t seen? Even after I tell them not to? Do I really HAVE to cover my ears and go “La La La” before you get the point that I don’t want to know who the murderer was?
When people call apes (most notably chimpanzees) “monkeys”. They’re not monkeys. Do chimps have a tail? No, because they’re apes!
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Women in supermarket checkout lines that wait until the total is announced to open their purses, find their checkbook, and start writing the check that they should have been writing all the while that their order was being scanned. Are they always surprised that they have to pay?
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Bill return envelopes that say “Post Office will not deliver mail without postage”. If you’re old enough to have bills, you’re old enough to know that you need stamps to mail stuff.
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Bill envelopes that have the return address printed to match the delivery address. A subtle invitation to screw the post office. Forget the stamp, it gets returned to the place you want to send it in the first place.
Long ago someone posted a rantlet about the stupid Hawaiians that called shaved ice “shave ice.” I came to that thread too late, but I’ll answer it now: They know damn well what it’s called, and they resent haole tourists that come in and try to correct them. They resent being accused of not knowing the language, and they resent the implication that they are stupid. By correcting them, you only mark yourself as a snobbish outsider who has no fucking clue what it’s called, and yet you have the arrogance to presume you know better than Islanders.
1 When I can’t find the price of something in the supermarket, 'cause it’s NOT MARKED. Cheese seems to be the worst (I
You are so lucky you’re not married to me. I will ALWAYS fuck with the climate control, radio, and THE SEAT POSITION (including mirror wiggling). If I am at the helm, the vehicle will adhere to MY standards. I am much shorter than Mr. Kal, so this was a bone of contention between us for many moons. Don’t like it? Toogoddamnmutherfuckin’bad…snookums.
I am 9 months pregnant and due tomorrow. No, I have not had the baby yet. Yes, I am still at work. If one more person says to me ‘are you still here?’ or ‘no baby yet?’ I am going to freak out. Every day, every time someone sees me this is my greeting. ‘Are you still here?’ AAAARRRGGH. I have just stopped replying all together, people still don’t get the hint.
To all co-workers, and also my Mother-In-Law: When I have the baby I will let you know. I promise, ok? I did not have the baby and forget to tell you.
on preview: It. Just. Happened. Again. This time, the answer to ‘are you still here’ was ‘No.’ They thought that was about the funniest thing ever. Glad I could provide entertainment.
Incorrect, sir! A Chinese joint we frequent proudly states on the menu, “Dinner special served with spring roll, egg drop soup, and fry rice.”
For my own peeve: Does the woman on What Not to Wear on TLC have some pathological fear of plurals? It’s always, “This blouse falls nicely from the shoulder,” and “This skirt falls just above the knee, which really lengthens the leg,” and “This is a fabulous shoe,” and “We’ve paired this sweater with a tweed pant.”
Which reminds me that she also tends to “pair” more than two things. “We’ve paired this jacket with a silk trouser and a fun handbag.” Actually, you’d be, uh, trippling it with them, or, uh, grouping them, or . . . something. But three things cannot form a pair!!!
I hate when people come in my office, hand me something, and stand there questioningly, waiting for me to look it over, without either telling OR asking me what it is I need to do or if I can/will do it. Just standing there while I look at it. It’s awkward, because already know what it is you want and how to do it.
Just put it in my inbox and leave. Really.
I don’t think it’s intended to screw the post office, but as a fail-safe to the customer to ensure that their bill will get where it’s going. That way if something happens and for whatever reason the PO deems the letter undeliverable as addressed, it’ll be returned to the sender, which in this case, would be the recepient.
On the few bills I actually mail (instead of E-pay) if the return address is left blank, I will fill it in with the company’s address myself.