I didn’t know him well. He was the son of one of my mom’s friends, and used to be one of my friend’s stepdad. I didn’t know him well, and what I did know of him was colored by my friend’s memories of the guy, which were decidedly negative. He had a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. He’d tried to clean up several times, most recently last January, but always fell off the wagon again. Last I’d heard, he was drinking again and had lost his house, so he was on the streets. Last night, he was beaten to death in Golden Gate Park. Cops found him this morning. I don’t know if they have any suspects or anything yet, or if they’re even going to bother looking very hard. My mom’s spent the whole day with her friend, doing the whole emotional support thing. I talked to his former stepson today for unrelated reasons, but chickened out on telling him that his hated stepdad died drunk, homeless, and violently last night. Although I doubt very much that he’d be upset at the news. He really didn’t like his stepdad.
Anyway, I just had to tell someone about it. I’ve never known the victim of a homicide before. It’s sort of wierd.
Been there. A friend of mine from childhood was found years after his disappearance buried in a glade behind a meth lab. We always knew Russell was bound for a bad end, but it was still a bit of a shock when it was confirmed. It does make conversations with the family a bit awkward for a while.
Miller, I’m sorry you have had to experiance this kind of thing. Even if it wasn’t a friend, or even someone you like, it still brings that aspect of life a bit too close to home.
I have lost friends in violent circumstances and it tends to make you see others you know with new eyes the next day.
So, I just finished writing this guy’s obituary. The logic went something like: It’s not fair to make this old lady write her own son’s obituary, so my mom volunteered to do it for her. My mom paid for me to go to college, where I got an English degree. Therefore, I have to write it.
Actually, my mom mostly dictated it to me. Still. Depressing as hell. The guy never did anything. No college, no career. He acted in a play once (“He was active in local theater…”) and planted a garden at the last rehab center he stayed at ("…and enjoyed gardening.") And that’s it. The most interesting thing about his life was how he exited it, and it seems insensitive to mention “Beaten to death with a baseball bat while asleep in a public park,” in his obit.
I went through something somewhat similar, but I wasn’t nearly as connected to the deceased. One of the places we pick up our produce (wholesale) from had a drunk working for them. VERY nice guy, almost creepy nice. (Not to most people, but whenever I was there picking stuff up he would always talk about my mom and aunts and how he knew (of) them in high school. I know he just used it as a conversation starter, but still kinda weird). Anyways, I had known him for several years and one day found out he had been stabbed to death by his girlfriend’s boyfriend or his boyfriend’s girlfriend or something. Like I said, I wasn’t that close, it didn’t effect my life at all, but still it was very strange to find out someone I know was murdered. I’ve known a few people who have killed themselves, and maybe one or two other untimely deaths, but this one was different.
Much like silenus, I had a friend (acquaintance is more appropriate) that I knew was going to end up either dead or in jail. I’d randomly hung out with him throughout high school, but somehow (or inevitably, I guess) he ended up in a bad way with some people (he was a drug dealer). One day a few years back, I learned that he had been murdered (and in an incredibly violent fashion as well). I doubt that they ever found out who was responsible, but I was really disconcerting for me because he was someone that I’d spent a substantial time of my senior year in high school around. We weren’t close or anything, but that didn’t make it any less…surreal?
To make things even weirder, the people in this debutante thing that I was in (where I hung out with this guy the most) would ask me if I had ever heard from him or knew what he was up to (including the girl that he escorted). Most of them didn’t know that he’d already died.
That’s just sad. I know I won’t make a big impact on this planet with what time I have, but it would be nice if the people who knew me when would learn of my demise within a few weeks of it happening.
Sorry Miller, that sucks regardless. Same thing happened to my Mom’s friend Thanksgiving, '04. Our DFW dopers may remember Kent Schnabel. He died shortly after this report. Authorities know who did it but can’t prove it. The murderer already had a violent history… and he’s still free.
No, I don’t have a clue what to say in these situations.
I’ve known at least 3 victims of homicide, and one murderer (a childhood playmate who lived next door). At least five other friends or acquaintances of my siblings have been murdered (including my neighbor’s victim).
The one who was most similar to the case in the OP was a drinking buddy of my father who used to come around the house when I was a kid. He eventually ended up an alky living on the street near the subway station a few blocks from my house. One night when he was asleep in an abandoned car some kids apparently set fire to it, burning him alive. I don’t think they’ll ever find out who did it.
His son, whom I’ve never met, wrote a book about his childhood, A Clean Street’s a Happy Street. I haven’t read it yet. I think it’s like a Bronx version of Angela’s Ashes.
I know one person who was murdered, one attempted that made the news in a rather spectacular fashion and two murderers. Oh, and one maybe.
The woman who was actually killed was someone I took an intensive five month course with. We knew each other pretty well. Last year she was killed by another woman in a park I used to play in all the time. She deserved better.
The attempted was chased into morning rush hour traffic by a gun wielding former boyfriend and took about five shots in the body. It was touch and go for a while. She was rescued by a couple of passers-by and he was shot by the cops. She’s okay now.
The murderers were, first, a guy who not unexpectedly stabbed his stepfather and accidently killed his mom too. He used to date my good friend. The other one was a fellow who used to hang around with us quite a bit. He bashed a guy’s head in. Always was a scary dude.
The maybe is a friend’s drug dealing brother who has dropped out of sight. There are pretty serious rumors that he’s dead.
