Someone Offered to Impregnate Me Today

And it wasn’t my husband. Every now and again we have a spate of weird people come in with strange queries and conspiracy theories. We affectionately refer to it as ‘who put the sandwich board again’ (the mythical sandwich board offers magical help for all complaints). There is a particular piece of legislation that is about to go before the Parliament, and it relates to changing the laws regarding abortion. This is the sort of thing that brings in the strongly opinionated (either way), the religious and the end-of-days sort of people.

We listen, we take down the notes and promise to pass it to the boss, and to keep them informed of the parliamentary process and when the bill passes and any amendments etc. We are good at keeping emotional people happy.

However, today a visitor to our office threw me a curveball. About three feet high, balding, and barely a tooth in his head he proceeded to lecture me about the evils of abortion and weren’t we meant to be increasing our population, and he was prepared to do his bit and start with me.

Me: Pardon? :eek:

Him: Yep, I’ll do it for Australia.

Me: Well, I’m about to go to lunch so you’ll have to reschedule.

With that, the obliging little patriot waddled out. Bizarre.

Are you sure he didn’t phrase it “Do it for Australia I will”?

You know, you’re supposed to have one for you and one for him BEFORE you have one for Peter Costello^H^H^H the country :wink:

Crikey! I hope he doesn’t dig that quote up as his ‘cite?’! :eek:

Ah yes, those gentle folk. I know them well. I spent a quarter-hour on the phone with one last night, a nice gentleman with some off-the-wall theories about global warming who was deaf enough that he couldn’t hear my increasingly loud and desperate but polite attempts to break through his stream of consciousness and get off the phone.

Or “Goo goo gah gah”?

I can’t not read that with an English accent.

Three feet tall? I bet he’s good down under.

Enjoy,
Steven

I would have such an awesome joke if the OP’s name was Barbie.

Ahhh… so some people like sex with one nightstand. Now I get it.

Put another shrimp in the Barbie?

Australians are so good natured. I would have decked the guy. (if I were British, I would have blasted him with some withering riposte along the lines of not sure his gene pool was up to the challenge or some such. Ah, cultural differences–the spice of life).

Those bloody Leprechauns, they get everywhere.

Y’know if you had allowed him to “do it” he was obliged to grant you 3 wishes

In case this happens again, you should arm yourself with the appropriate child support guidelines table. Where I live, you’ll find plenty of women who would jump at such an offer.

I got a healthy chuckly out of that line. :smiley:

Shite, don’t tell me that one of us got you to fall for that one. :stuck_out_tongue:

I shall call him Mini-me.

Nah, the anti-abortion folks don’t care about supporting children once they’re born.

Hell, I’d do it for Australia, and I’m a 'Merkin!

That’s how much love I have for you guys.

You are all quite mad. (sigh … I love it here …)

Somebody gave me a free pen today.

I suppose that’s not really in the same league as an offer of impregnation. But still… hey, free pen.