Someone please explain this to me

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Ok. To set the record straight, this is the conversation we had regarding the diet/exercise program I worked out for her:

Her: Wait, 5 situps per day and only a mile on the treadmill?
Me: Yes. Start slow, then work up to a full workout.
Her: But, shouldn’t I be doing like 50 situps and 5 miles? Wouldn’t that work better?
Me: Of course it would, but are you capable of doing 50 situps and 5 miles a day?
Her: No, of course not, that’s why I need to lose weight!
Me: Nevermind then.

I dropped it after that. I will not try to help her with anymore diet/exercise programs, and have made this abundantly clear. She asks my opinion and I basically say, “why do you ask me if you know I am not going to give you the answer you want to hear?” Her response? “Because I know you know what you’re talking about, so I value your honesty.”

tdn, damn you. Damn you to hell. I laughed so hard that 4 people asked me what’s so funny. Of course, I couldn’t share with them, they would know immediately who the post is about.

When I was ranting to my husband about this this morning, he made an observation that had me in giggles for 20 minutes. He said, “I bet she’d put sugar in the coffee!” Sadly, he’s probably correct.

On a related note – the other day, she decided she would get some “healthy stuff” to keep in her office for snacking. She bought: saltine crackers, vegetable crackers, pretzels, chips, some other crackers, some other other crackers, ad infinitum. Four grocery bags of crackers. When did crackers become “healthy”?

Reminds me of an epiphany a friend of mine had in high school. She was chubby compared to our other friends (read, she had a healthy BMI, but wasn’t the 1986 size 0 that the other girls were) and decided to try to lose some weight. One day, she had this huge epiphany about why she wasn’t losing weight, even though she was only eating “sugar free” and “fat free” stuff – if you eat a whole box of cookies, even if they’re sugar free – you have still eaten a whole box of cookies! After that, she lost some weight without much effort. I really wish I could make that lightbulb go off for Sam.

22

You mean I should only be doing coffee enemas to lose weight?! :eek:

23

I find that shutting the refrigerator door makes the lightbulb go off.

24

Good for you. You could also answer “You know what you have to do, and I can’t do it for you.”

Funnily enough, I watched Planet of the Apes yesterday.

I have to wonder what five situps will do. Is it just to get in shape to do 50 situps? While doing that many will give you awesome abs, I’d think that overall sculpting would have far more benefits. Even a really out of shape person can do 5-10 minues of that.

25

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here - people think that crazy sounding things must work, just because they are so crazy. After all, I think that weight loss surgery sounds absolutely nuts (they do WHAT to your stomach!), but clearly it works and many people have been successful with it.

26

Ok, seriously… I would go to the next step and recommend she do some counseling to find out if she is an emotional eater… or, even get her a book in regards to emotional eating.

My hunch is that she is depressed and it’s the hump she cannot get over and her weight is so much easier to focus on, rather than the real issue. That’s what my intiution is tellin me and I’m stickin with it.

PS I so enjoyed my grande xtra hot caramel machiato ORALLY for lunch, thank you!

27

Her children…are they getting on the tubby side?

28

A friend and I are both trying to lose weight, and the last time we went to Lonestar Steakhouse we did the “put aside half of your meal before you start eating” thing.

Exercising is definitely the hardest thing for me to get into. I’m slowly getting used to reducing my portions and ignoring the “it’s been two hours since I’ve eaten, so it’s time to find something to nibble on” messages that my mind keeps sending out. Oddly enough, I’ve realized that it’s not really hunger that was making me eat between meals, just habit.

Daily coffee enemas are deinitely less attractive than exercise, though.

29

:eek: :eek: :eek: :smack: :rolleyes:

(Approximate sequence of reactions to reading the OP)

Her Alfredo Sauce. Great Dangling Og, that’s scary. I followed a recipe once for “traditional” Alfredo, which called for two cups of heavy cream (35%) followed by one cup of butter and half a cup of parmesan cheese. I nearly gagged at how heart-stoppingly rich it was, so I modified the recipe to use half the butter, substituted the butter for low fat margarine, and substituted the heavy cream for 18%. Came out faaaaaabulous and was a great deal healthier than the original (inasmuch as Alfredo can be deemed healthy by any stretch.) I can’t even imagine that horrendous mixture she concocted. Sour cream? Cream of Mushroom Soup? That right there is Ralphredo Sauce.

I have heard of people using cream of mushroom though – I can’t do it. I can’t stand cream of mushroom soup. I can’t stand anything with canned mushrooms, or anything that tastes like canned mushrooms. Canned mushrooms are vile.

The coffee enema … I just … I … holy. Just … damn. How do you do that, anyway? Walk into Starbucks and ask, “I’ll have a grande Latte and a turkey baster?” Who in the name of great Og’s pendulous nob would ever think this was a good idea, or that it could in any conceivable way assist in improving any part of your health or lifestyle? It is supposed to be some kind of supercharged diuretic? This is Herbalife-caliber quackery of the highest order. The weird thing is that she seems to be so desperate to believe that there’s something out there that can help her lose weight that doesn’t involve diet or exercise, no matter how freaky, weird, or potentially harmful it is. I don’t understand it. Everyone would love a magic pill that can help you lose weight, but it doesn’t exist and it never will. There are supplements that I’m sure can assist, but they are all to be used in conjunction with diet and exercise. Because diet and exercise is the only way to lose weight.

I’m a little overweight (40-50lbs) and could stand to lose some weight. I hate exercise. I use food to deal with stress. I’m fully aware of these things, and even I know the only way I’m going to slim down is diet and exercise. First I have to break my food vices. Then I can lose weight with diet and exercise.

And I can do it without shoving a Grande up my bum.

30

The thing about bariatric procedures is that while they are pretty extreme, they are based in medical science. There’s a mechanism that’s at work there. Most diet plans are either based in pseudoscience or poorly exploit some mechanism in a way that fails to address the real problem.

There’s some magic pill out there that, “When combined with sensible eating and exercise”, will help you lose weight. I’d wager that most people that buy the pills ignore the eating and exercise parts and expect the pills to do all the work. Most likely, all they’ve gotten is what a cup of coffee would give them.

At least the pills are taken orally.

31

The more I think about this–this plan could work but only if we extend it a bit.

Think about it–the reason you eat so much is you enjoy the taste of things right?

So it we bypass those taste buds and stomach we can save on the calories. It’s so easy, why didn’t anyone think of this before. I think I will call it the Hakuna Diet–no worries for the rest of your life ([SIZE=1]which will be very short–legal disclaimer[/SIZE])

Since you are shoving that coffee up there, why not shove anything you want to eat up there and save the calories? Want a cake–shove it up there, Candy bars–up the rump, Pizza–sure get it with everything and up the poop chute it goes. Wash it all down with coffee and there you go. Thing of it like purging but without the acid reflux! And think of all the effort you are saving. Your teeth will last longer, and your stomach won’t have to do all that work. This is the LAST diet you ever have to do! (diet and diet author not responsible for death, actual result may vary - legal disclaimer) :slight_smile:

32

Excellent plan.

Slip her the sausage.

33

Cervaise – golf clap for you. I do believe that is one of the best responses to one of my mis-communicated thought processes ever. Bravo, my good man (woman?), bravo!

tdn – 5 situps would do nothing for a normal-weight person, but someone who is overweight would see an increase in heart rate for at least 20 minutes. Trust me, 5 situps for this girl would be akin to 50 for most people. I once saw Richard Simmons (of whom I am not a fan, but he does know his shit, mostly) say “you know, just lifting your arms up in the air 5 times a day is a major workout for some people.” He was right. When I weighed 300+lbs, taking a shower was mind-bendingly difficult exercise.

Meyer6 – I have had weight loss surgery. It is an extreme answer, but if one works it, it works. I know people who had the same surgery by the same surgeon as I who are still obese or morbidly obese. I was (and still am to my knowledge) the fattest person on whom my surgeon operated – with a BMI of 58.6 – I was “Super Morbidly Obese” and now, here I sit comfortably in the “normal” range for height/weight. I am often called “skinny” even. Although we had the same surgery, by the same surgeon, mine worked better because I worked it. I admit I had it “easy” since I didn’t have all the food demons that some had – my weight gain was caused by things other than bad eating habits, so it was easy for me to adjust to the exercise and portion control. Sometimes, the fat people you see eating a very small amount and saying “oh, I couldn’t eat another bite, I’m stuffed!” are for real – at 5’3" and 331 lbs, my caloric intake was less than 2000 calories/day, it wasn’t lack of understanding of how the equation works, it was simply that my body refused to work right. Anyway, you have a valid point, though, as I have seen people who needed to lose less than 50 lbs throw huge tantrums because their insurer refused to cover WLS for them. I have to question anyone who would consider a surgery as major as WLS over just exercising and eating less for less than 100 lbs.

ivylass – funny enough, no. Between being active boys and spreading their time between her home and their father’s home (I understand the father’s gf is quite skinny, so perhaps she is better at portioning/cooking?) they’re still normal. Of course, they’re both still quite young (I think 4 and 6), and the older one is pushing the high end of normal, but so far, not fat.

LurkMeister – that’s a great idea! How’s it working for you? I am constantly amazed at the serving sizes in restaurants – even my husband, the human garbage disposal, brings home leftovers when we eat out. I have to agree that I am amazed that anyone has any comprehension of portions anymore.

34

Why oh why did visions of Martha Stewart in South Park come to mind? :eek:

35

Frappucino. No sense risking getting burned.

36

Where is Autolycus when you need him? Here was the perfect chance to throw out his friends Rob’s line! And Giraffe can’t get pissy about this one–it would fit perfectly.

37

Just to be clear - I understand that WLS works and is based on good science, but really, if you had never heard of it and saw a late-night infomercial where they detailed it, you would probably have a pretty WTF reaction to the idea. Many people lack the skills or the desire to exercise common sense or research anything, and as a result are endlessly credulous.

Also, I too have heard to people wanting WLS for 50-70lb weight loss. This is madness, but people want the ‘easy answer’ and somehow think that is it.

38

My SIL and her husband do something similar…they order one meal and split it. Part finances, and part because the portions are so fricking huge. Didn’t I read somewhere that the size of the Happy Meal hamburger now is the size of a full-size hamburger 20 years ago? When and why did restaurants start loading up platters and pig troughs and calling it dinner??

Me, I’m listening to my body, and when I’m full, I stop eating. I no longer feel guilty about not polishing off the entire plate at a restaurant…I box it up and take it home…or not.

39

Hardly an easy answer! As I understand it, there is a huge burden placed on the patient after surgery.

For what it’s worth, we don’t let just anyone get the surgery here. They either have to have a BMI of 35+, or 30+ with two comorbid condistions. (Such as heart disease, hypertension, sleep apnea, etc.)

40

I don’t eat out very often, and when I do it’s usually with this friend, so I suspect it’s going to be our routine from now on. Especially when we eat at restaurants with mega-portions. We’ve long had the habit of splitting a single dessert between us.

I did consider weight-loss surgery at one point, partly because my health plan covered it in cases of morbid obesity but did not cover weight loss medication. Other circumstances intervened, however, and I never got around to asking my doctor about it. Now, I want to give the eat-less-and-exercise method a try, since I’m in a better position to control what I eat.