Someone Proposed To Me On My Lunch Hour

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Today I left my office and walked down the street to the Barnes and Noble to see if they had a particular book I was looking for in stock. On my way past the mall I get caught at a light and as I am waiting to cross the street I hear someone behind me say, “Hubba Hubba!” I really didn’t think anything of it and assumed that he was addressing someone else and continued waiting for the signal to change.

Then a few seconds later I hear, “Hey beautiful, where are you headed?” I turn around to see that I am, in fact, the one being hit on. The gentleman addressing me must have been about 75 years old! He reminded me of Hans Moleman in a wheelchair. I smiled and thanked him for the compliment and for a few minutes we made small talk about the traffic and the weather, and he proceeded to tell me that I am very, very attractive. Then he asked me if I was married. I told him that I am not married and he immediately suggested that we head down to the courthouse and get hitched right away. At this point I made up a little fib and told him that I have a boyfriend but I assured him that if I were not taken I would have accepted his offer. At that point the signal changed and I crossed the street and headed into the bookstore, out of sight of my suitor.

So now I have been proposed to twice in my life, once by my ex fiance and once by my new septuagenarian friend. I called my roommate and told her about it and she says that I might have missed the boat and should go find out if he is rich or not, but since that didn’t work out too well for Anna Nicole Smith I don’t think I will be trying to track down my admirerer anytime soon. :stuck_out_tongue:

Now it is your turn…tell me your funny marriage proposal stories!

2

  1. Drunk comes into Walgreens to buy cigarettes, and while he’s weaving back and forth, clutching my counter, trying to make up his mind what he can afford with his panhandling money, glances at my wedding ring and says, “Damn! You married!” and continues with his transaction.

  2. Not a proposal in so many words, but…I’m standing there folding t-shirts, drunk comes in, I say, “Hi!” brightly, he glances over at me, mutters, “Foxy bitch” to himself, and continues on towards the chips.

I am 52 years old, have a sign on my forehead that says “FORMER SOCCER MOM, FUTURE GRANDMA”. Says a lot for the mate selectivity of drunks.

3

I spent the Spring months of 1980 in the hospital, confined to bed and hooked up to two IV lines. My boyfriend came to visit me every day, but we couldn’t get any privacy, even though I had no roommate. Nurses and aides came into the room regularly, and the atmosphere was not conducive to romance. Finally my boyfriend came up with a great idea: we would pretend that we were engaged to be married. Once we announced our “engagement,” my doctor issued written orders saying that for one hour a day we could close the door and put a “do not disturb” sign on it, and unless there was an emergency, nobody would come in.

We put up the sign, my boyfriend hopped into the hospital bed next to me and we enjoyed our first full-body hug in ages. I said “Everybody would be so annoyed with us if they knew that we aren’t really going to get married.” My boyfriend said “Oh, yes, we are.” I said “We are what???” He said “We are going to get married. How about having the ceremony on July Fourth?” And we did.

Nearly 28 years and umpteen hugs later, we’re still married.

4

pinkfreud, that’s probably the most romantic proposal ever.

No one has ever proposed to me, either serious or non-serious, but I really hope it’ll involve an aw-inducing story like yours (well, for the serious one, anyway… I don’t really care much about how the non-serious ones go).

5

Gah! I hate crying at work! I’m on lunch. And this was beautiful.

6

Awwwwww!

My own story is more amusing than romantic, and not quite a propsal, but close. I was in a train station in London, staring at the schedules and trying to find the train to Hampton Court when a gentleman next to me started to make small talk. I was 20 at the time and this was before I discovered makeup and dressed for anything other than comfort, so I probably looked like a teenager. The man was tall and handsome - he could have been cast as “token dashing European hero” in any movie. He was also silver-haired and probably old enough to be my dad.

“You are a very beautiful young lady,” he told me.

“Thank you,” said I, laughing a bit nervously.

“Please, come away with me.”

I gaped at him, wondering if he was kidding. He looked very serious. “Uh . . . I’m trying to catch the train to Hampton Court,” I replied lamely.

“Come with me to Windsor,” he insisted. “You must come away with me. We are meant to be together.”

“No, I really, really need to go to Hampton Court today,” I stammered, as if there was something vital waiting for me at a 500-year-old palace other than a tacky gift shop and an audio tour. “But thank you.”

“But we are meant to be together!” he cried.

“Then perhaps we’ll meet again,” I offered in a weak attempt at comfort as I edged away and lost him in the crowd.

7

Last week I proposed to someone that I’d known for maybe all of three minutes.

I asked her what she did, and said she taught the 5th grade.

I said “Great, so you make a lot of money! You know, we could be in Vegas in like four hours, and we could get married by a midget Elvis, then I could move in with you and you could totally support me.” She told me that she was going to go home right now and pack and we’ll meet at the airport in an hour. A little later she said something I didn’t like and I told her I wanted a divorce.

We’re going out next week. She’s freakin’ awesome.

8

Decades ago when I was still young, distressingly innocent and just in from weeks out in the bush, I walked into a trendy Dallas bar only to see one of the most striking women I’d ever laid eyes on. Sliding next to her, I made mention in some long forgotton, apparently complimentary manner of whan an effect she was having on me only to have her turn to me, gently take my face in her soft hands and in the sweetest, southern drawl pleadingly ask “Will you marry me?”

While it was a very thoughtful offer, she was far too beautiful, was marketing director for Dr. Pepper with access to all the best seats at sports and entertainment venues so we merely dated for awhile before parting ways, doomed from the start.

9

The proprietor of our local off-license offered to marry me the other day, if Crusoe changed his mind.

You’d think he’d realise, by how often I’m in there, that’d I’d drink him out of business within a year.

10

One of my students asked me to marry her. In front of the whole class. Just a little uncomfortable…

11

When I lived in Salem, OR – I was approached by (what, under other conditions than what followed, I would have considered a very attractive) Latin fellow who said to me “why don’t you marry me, so I can be American. Then we can get Welfare and you can give me lots of babies.” I told him I was a sterile lesbian.

When I was taking the Greyhound to OR in the first place, I met a very nice (and absolutely flippin’ gorgeous) Swedish fellow whose Visa was about to expire. He offered me $30,000 to marry him so he could get a green card. I declined.

My other proposals were all very real, though.

Funny side story – a dear (departed) friend of mine used to live in LA and was close friends with the girl who played a major character in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. One night, the two of them and some friends drove to Vegas and got married, only to annul it the next day – just so they wouldn’t all be 30-something and unmarried. I always thought that was a funny story, because I could so picture Lee doing something that off-the-wall.

12

PBBTH!
He probably lives in a rent controlled apartment and pays $200 a month for a 3 bedroom!

13

I believe he lives in Westchester county (since that is where I work) but if I ever see him again I will ask. If he does have a great deal on an apartment I will go down to the courthouse with him that very day, marry him, and bide my time.

14

A man that worked at the same place I did but on different shifts had a big crush on me and so the other co-workers (who were all male) in the same dept/location would drop hints of this guys existance to me, basically softening me up in hopes that I would agree to go out with this guy. Eventually he asked, and eventually I said yes.

After a couple of dates, the man had me close my eyes, turned up the radio (he had requested a specific song to be played at a specific time from the local station), and slipped something on my finger… I opened my eyes and found a diamond ring sparkling away. I was speechless to the point where I couldnt even say no - or yes.

It was romantic, and overwhelming. I was swept off my feet and landed hard on my ass when I found out the ring had initially belonged to his ex-wife… that was just too tacky for my taste (and in the same year, my ex hub gave my old wedding ring to his new wife when they got married). Maybe then it was the decade to recycle & I guess I’m just too much of a snob!

I’ve only been “officially” proposed to 2x that I recall… but have had several invites for cohabitation that I’ve had to turn down.

I once proposed to an irish friend of mine who was in Nebraska on a greencard for work… when the company laid off, he had to go back to Ireland so I offered to marry him so he could stay provided he send me to my Motherland for vacations. Unfortunately, he was too much of a good Catholic boy and is still single to this day - oh wait! No, he’s married to his work.

15

I haven’t proposed or been proposed to, but my friend recently told me that a girl challenged him and said “You should take me to Vegas and marry me.” Considering he didn’t think it was manly to deny a challenge, he accepted.

Apparently they’re going to fly out next month. :dubious: I’m on the edge of my seat waiting for further developments.

16

A sort-of friend once proposed to me on the grounds that I bear him twins, so he could name them Rosencratz and Guildenstern (his girlfriend wouldn’t agree to this scheme). I said sure, as long as their middle names could be Xylem and Phloem. And so we planned our wedding. He was really cute.

And a crazy older man on the street grabbed my hand one day and started kissing it. When he tried to get me to kiss his cheek, I got away. I don’t know if he spoke English–he never said a word.

17

My college boyfriend proposed to me twice. Each time, I told him to ask me again when he was sober.

Right before graduation, he took me out and asked me again. He was sober.

I said no.

18

Back in my waitressing days, an elderly gentleman who worked at the RV dealer across the street used to come in almost every day with his co-workers for lunch. Casual flirting with the harmless over-70 set was a specialty of mine, and this guy was no exception. One day, he offered to pack me into an RV and spirit me away to North Dakota and spoil me rotten. I laughed, said I was flattered and politely declined, but later one of his co-workers took me aside and said, “Be careful here. He’s serious.”

19

You’re kidding me. I’ll tell you my proposal stories. I’ve got more than most people, after all, apparently I’m a ticket to a free green card :rolleyes:. None of mine were jokes, either, every one was dead serious. Be aware, btw, I am E. Indian.

** Marriage proposal number 1: ** I was 17 years old, and used to visit this gas station which had a young Indian man working it. No reason, except him and I had grown to be friends. I’d stop by on the way home and chat with him for a few minutes. To his credit, he’d actually known me for a few weeks before he asked me: one of his friends was trying to come to the States, and would I marry him for $1000 in order to help him get citizenship?

Marriage proposal # 2: The only one of these which was not at a gas station. He was a young man in our Indian community. Young, but he was still seven years older than me, and had a receding hairline. Nowadays I don’t mind that one bit but I was still 17, and it was a big deal then. He just sort of asked, and I was flattered but not interested.

Marriage proposal # 3 & 4: Both cases gas stations again. I’d just go in to pay, and the man would basically start in with “Are you Indian?” and upon hearing the yes, would say “Punjabi?” Again, yes, and suddenly - in the first case - “I am looking for a wife, are you interested? I have lots of money.” In the second case, “Would you like to marry me? I am a very nice boy, from a good family.” D’oh!

Marriage proposal # 5: This was only a year or two ago, at a Getty station nearby. A woman started chatting with me. Seeing as how she was female, I thought nothing of it, and began chatting to her in Hindi, and it came out that I was Punjabi. She was impressed by my speaking Hindi, and popped the question - for her brother.

20

God, what did I say? I killed the thread!