Someone said 'Happy Holidays' to me: I'm a Jehovah's Witness. I'm offended! I'll sue!

I’m a Jehovah’s Witness and I don’t celebrate any holiday at all.*

All holidays have origins in ancient, false religions, so as a Jehovah’s Witness, our faith doesn’t celebrate anything at all.

An otherwise well-meaning Liberal-American today at the checkout counter wished me “Happy Holidays” . . . probably because they were afraid they’d somehow “offend” me by saying Merry Christmas. Someone must have told them that saying “Happy Holidays” is less offensive.

However, what they didn’t know that it’s JUST as offensive to wish me “Happy Holidays”.

[SIZE=“4”]Someone just wished me “Happy Holidays”. I’m a Jehovah’s Witness. I’m offended! I’ll sue! I’ll sue![/SIZE]
*I’m hoping everyone gets the satire of this post.

Wrong forum - this should have been posted in the Pit.

ETA: Also, when you’re satirising something from the SDMB (which is OK to do - in the Pit) you should link to the original post you are satirising so people who might not have seen it can get the context.

Moving thread from IMHO to The BBQ Pit.

Wait how many thread do you need on this subject?

You also have this one going News flash: Non Christians are OK with being wished 'Merry Christmas (really!)
and are posting in others.

Do you have any justification at all to add the lame “I’ll Sue” part? It ruins your post as it is too extreme and reflects badly on you instead.

Can I sue all the JW’s for ringing my doorbell at 10 am on Saturday when I’d really like to sleep in as I tend to stay up late and suffer bouts of insomnia? That highly offends me as well as infringes on my privacy and personal religious freedom and adversely affects my health and sanity. I think I have the better case.

Wait - could you explain? :confused:

Are you really JW ? Cause I know you guys are okay with celebrating wedding anniverseries, and weddings.

I guess I’ll never be a mod. I took this for a joke pitting.

However if they stopped proselyting I wouldn’t be able to claim it’s my birthday and offer them a celebratory slice of black pudding. And then ask them awkward questions over the delay in the arrival of last days. Railtrack had a better record with deadlines.

Well, the OP’s a joke, that’s for damned sure.

I’m not clear on what’s being satirized. Has anyone ever tried to sue anyone else for being told either “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas?” If so, on what grounds?

Well I’m not a lawyer but I doubt anyone’s tried it. I think the target of the original post is the ridiculous, inevitable annual coverage of how the media perceives we should phrase such a greeting, rather than attempting something other than hackneyed rubbish. And that this filters through to an equally nonsensical forum debate on the ‘issue’.

Never. That’s one of the unproven claims from the "They’re Waging A War On Christmas"crowd. And those guys haven’t even been as active lately. They are trembling in their boots now, fearing the replacement in office of their boy, the Godly W, by Barack Hussein Obama. Yeah, he’s such a radical!

“Happy Holidays” & “Season’s Greetings” have been popular sayings as far back as I can remember. They are hardly new & PC.

The Religious Right–the ones initially upset about “The War On Christmas” are the direct spiritual descendants of the guys who DID try to stamp out Christmas celebrations. Those were the Puritans–who saw Christmas as a Papist holiday with suspiciously pagan roots. Which is true–but that’s why many of us continue to celebrate! (No offense to the Baby Jesus–& those of His followers who actually live by His words.)

Since you felt fine wishing me Merry Christmas in the other thread after I’d told you that I don’t appreciate it, I’ll just add a hearty Fuck You in this thread. Can you grasp the concept that your POV is not universal?

Meh, i’ll paraphrase what I said in one of the other threads on this; the whole point of wishing someone a Merry Christmas is to show you care. That you aren’t just saying random words, but that you honestly would like the other person to enjoy their Christmastime. It seems to me not unreasonable to think that if you really want to show someone you care, then you’ll take their wishes into account. That’s the best proof that you truly give a crap about them.

Out of interest, how do you know this checkout person was a liberal? Were they wearing their special badge?

Well, I’m offended 'cause I just sneezed and nobody said “God bless you”!

Well, yes, I’m alone at the moment. And I’m an atheist. But Still.

Wait . . . what?

Well they had blue eyes, a rainbow pin and a pink shirt on. What more proof do you need?

:wink:

I just ask them about the 144,000 “anointed” ones. When they start spouting their bullshit, I suggest they shut the hell up because really, do the math, 2000 years, 144,000 people… that’s really not many spots. I wouldn’t be telling anyone jack shit. My luck that fucker would take my spot and I would be stuck burning in hell.

Or I’m a Jewish Lesbian.

I’ve never understood the sensitivities over this. It is the season of Christmas, whatever religious persuasion you are of, and wishing someone the compliments of that season carries no implication that the hearer is Christian or celebrates Christmas, it’s simply an expression of the traditional Christian sentiment of ‘good will to all men’ at Christmas . That’s good will to all, not merely Christians.

Several of my daughter’s classmates are Hindi, they always wish their mostly Christian classmates a Happy Diwali and the wishes are returned. I am pleased to say no indignant parents have registered protests.

The alternative isn’t hell. JW’s don’t believe in Hell.The JW belief is 144,000 will go to Heaven, but that the rest will live in a Paradise on Earth. Anyone who is still judged as irredemably evil after 1000 years will then simply be anihilated, not sent to Hell.

So throwing the 144,000 at them is not going to shock them. Most of them take it granted that they have little to no chance of being in that group. They’re expecting an Earthly paradise, not Heaven.