The Jehovahs Witlesses called today

Yes they did, two of them.

“Good afternoon sir”


“Can we interes…”


“Yes but we fee…”

“Are you both deaf?”

I then shut the door, I wish I knew some really good fuck off lines without being crude

What odd timing, you might want to read this post(31) by Master Wang-Ka that I just dug up for Qwakkeddup today.

Ask them if they’ve heard the good news about Amway.

My mom used to invite them in and serve them espresso, back in the 70’s, before most people knew what it was.

I always say, “I didn’t see the accident” and close the door.

I’ve never had them call at my door. I did interview some before, a bit odd, but some of the nicest people I’ve encountered.

Now that was brilliant, I wish I had a sword:p

When I was in college a JW showed up one day and I gave her a ‘not interested’ kind of answer. She asked if I was a college student, and when I said yes, she said that a lot of people lose faith, etc when they go to college.

A week later, I answer the door to see two very tall and imposing JWs, who asked me if I wanted to debate religion with them. These guys were big, both would have to duck to get into my doorway. I declined. I wonder when JWs started using enforcers.

They came to my house at 8 Am on a Saturday once. Eek. I staggered out of bed - I’m the only one who generally sleeps dressed at least somewhat - put on some pants, and staggered through the door, and stared at them blearily. I’d been up until 3 AM the night before. I was Not Happy.

Don’t deprive yourself from the small pleasures in life.

The Jehovahs Witlesses called today


They came to my house about 6 months when I wasn’t home. When I got onto my property there were pamphlets blowing around spread out over about 3/4 of an acre. I was so pissed off. We don’t live way out here so that perfect strangers can ignore the no soliciting signs out by the front gate, come way up a long driveway and through another gate just so that they can dump garbage around. To make it worse, they let my blind dog out and he was lost and bumbling in the underbrush when I got home. I was really tempted to go dump it all plus some more unsolicited junk on their temple lawn to see how they liked it but I settled for yelling at voice mail.

I wish I could write better than I do. My own best experience with the JWs was 21 years ago. My brother and I had just driven 27 straight hours to complete or 3 day trip from San Diego back home to New Jersey. As we were unpacking the car a pair showed up. We exchanged show questions and answers and the topic went to government.

Somehow without missing a beat my brother and I went into a long rant where if one of us paused the other stepped up immediately before the JWs could say anything more than “buhh?” We went on about feudal technocracy, religion causing wars, why the US and USSR should learn to work together to subjugate the rest of the world and many other oddball, mostly tangential subjects including a semi-detailed advertising rant that concluded with 10000 turnip twaddlers. By the time we got done the younger JW was looking very confused and the older one rushed him away to reassert the programming.

We got called by JWs last night. My husband answered the phoned, suddenly looked gleeful, said he had thought about the expression “Blessed are the meek”, and I knew it was JWs, and was disappointed that I hadn’t gotten there first.

You see, earlier that day we’d been talking about the Sermon on the Mount, and the fact that ‘meek’ originally meant “controlled strength”, or 'obedient to reins", as in breaking a horse.

They had a nice chat. He told her a lot of stuff about her texts. Apparently she’d never considered the question of free will before.
The last ones to appear at our door looked really confused when I started talking about our conversion to the Catholic Church, and the five Solas on which Protestantism rests. They asked me if I’d ever read the Bible.
We love JWs. They’re fun. :smiley: They always leave looking confused. And we get to be (gently) pompous know-it-alls.

I like my aunt’s story: They’d been showing up repeatedly after being told my aunt and uncle weren’t interested. One day, my uncle is at work and my aunt is enjoying her day off with a cup of coffee and a crappy romance novel. She hears a knock on the front door, and looks up to see that it’s the same guys again. She just ignores them. They knock again, and one walks over to the front window and taps on the pane. She looks up, smiles, takes a swig of coffee, and repositions her book so they can clearly see the trashy illustration on the front cover.

They left after a few minutes.

I hate them they are SO RUDE.

Like last time, I invite them in and in like three hours they are like “We have to leave.” And I’m all like “Can’t you stay just a bit longer?” “I have a pull out sofa.”

But they are like “No we have to go.” And I say “Will you come back?”

They say they will but never do.

Rude people

Ahhh, yes, Opus’s favorite Ronco gadget! :smiley:

When I was in college, one summer afternoon, I was sitting in the living room of the house we were subletting for the summer, reading, when there was a knock at the door. I answered it, and saw a well-dressed woman, with her daughter, who was probably 5 or so, at her side. The woman had some JW literature in hand.

I was polite, and smiled, and asked her what she wanted…and her eyes widened like she had seen something terrifying. She uttered a rapid-fire (and undoubtedly memorized) speech…so quickly that I could barely understand it. She shoved a pamplet in my hand, and darted down the front stairs, pulling her daughter along with her.

I stood there in the doorway. “What the hell was that about?” Then, I looked down at the shirt I was wearing. I was big into comic books back then (this was the mid-80s), and I was wearing a red t-shirt, depicting a member of the X-Men, named Nightcrawler…who happens to look like a demon . The JW undoubtedly decided she’d found a demon-worshipper. (Ironically enough, Nightcrawler was a very devout Christian, rather a rarity among superheroes.)

Bloom County fan? When some friends of ours ran a shop, a bunch of us helped them make a Christmas TV ad about “bad” presents (turnip twaddlers were included), and the “good” presents you could get at their place.

I should get some of my old HS’s paraphanalia out. We were the Red Demons (Logo on the right). Caused some…interesting…brouhahas in the 80’s.

The one time they came here, I told them very nicely that “this is a devout atheist household.” They shuffled off quickly and have never returned. Pity. There have been threads with the most interesting ideas.