The Jehovahs Witlesses called today

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

They have always been nice in my neighborhood. I’ve moved from that area, but still remember a few of them and the yarns they would spin. I often had some free time back then, so didn’t mind the occasional visit particularly if some of the women I found nice looking, I would feign even more interest.

This happened to two JW’s in my hometown some years back. I was surprised that the New York Times picked up on the story.

Hell of a way to go. I wonder how they reported that story in their church bulletin.

razncain

22

Has anyone else been *ethnically targeted *by the JWs? I’ve been visited two or three times in the last few years, and it’s always been middle-aged or elderly, non-native Japanese-American ladies. [Don’t ask me how I can be so sure they were J-A instead of, say, Korean or Thai or Chinese… I just know, and if I don’t know for sure at first sight, I sure do as soon as they start talking.]

Jeesh, it makes me feel so abashed to decline their literature, etc. But I also feel a bit creeped out by the manipulative demographic research that *someone, somewhere *must be doing, to be consistently matching like with like.

23

I read the thread title and immediately thought

“The court calls the witness for Jehova”

I haven’t personally had any problems with the JWs. In this area, it’s the Jews For Jesus you have to worry about.

24

I always invite them in for martinis! Works every time.

25

I keep waiting for the JW’s to show up so I can show them this card and say, “No thanks. I’m covered.”

26

I had an amusing run in with some JWs a couple months back.

See, back in America, I always just used to say “I’m jewish” and they’d leave me alone (perhaps because very few jews convert, or just assuming I was going to hell anyway or something, even though we don’t believe in hell).

Anyway, I’m in my apt one evening, watching a movie or some such, and I get a knock at the door. Thinking my parents might have sent me a surprise care package containing mac&cheese, refried beans, or some other such delicacy, I eagerly hop up and run to the door, swing it open with a grin on my face, and come face to face with two small japanese women. They almost shat their pants. You could hear them both thinking “oh crap, a gaijin, what do we do now?!”

They started out the usual japanese way, asking if I could speak japanese, then they began talking about god, which is when I noticed the pamphlets. I politely told them I was a jew, and I swear to the gods their eyes almost popped out of their skulls. Not only had they come face to face with a gaijin, but a real live yudaijin to boot! I was, apparently, the first jew they’d ever encountered (I’m the first jew a lot of people here encounter, it’s very weird. Some of my students freaked the fuck out when I did a lesson on different holidays people in america celebrate back in December).

They start coming at me with all these over-the-top questions, not the least of which was “do you believe in god?!” (remember, this is all in Japanese, and my skill in said language, while passable, is not up to debating theology. Hell, I probably can’t even discuss the merrits of a pair of shoes) so, trying not to laugh at their ignorance and the fact that I can clearly see their shock/fear battling it out with their unabashed curiosity, I politely explain that yes, Jewish people do believe in god, yes, we do have a religious book (I told them “you know the bible? Take the first half, that’s us”) and that Jesus himself was a jew and so forth and so on. They promised they’d come back with an english-speaking colleague, thank the gods they never did.

All in all one of the more amusing encounters with the religo’s I’ve ever had

27

My Jehovah’s Witnesses story turned me off them forever:

My sister the lesbian has one biological daughter, who is a devout JW. My sister and her partner were in a terrible car crash in California and she needed a blood transfusion. Her partner didn’t have the authority to approve it. Her daughter, the devout JW, runs to the hospital and denies permission. The hospital calls me, faxes me the papers in New Jersey, I sign them and fax them back, and the transfusion is approved.

I am a raving maniac over the whole thing, very worried about my sister. Fifteen minutes later two JW’s come into my office and start lecturing me about how I doomed my sister the lesiban with a blood transfusion.

I gave it to them with both barrels. I told them if they ever came into my place of business with their shitty religion again, I would call the cops and file a lawsuit. I told them I was not a believer of any religion that would let people die rather than receiving medical treatment. I told them my sister was a devout lesbian and wasn’t going to convert.

They told me they hoped my sister got hepatitus from the transfusion and left.

28

Not really targeted, but attempted overlooking. When I lived in South Central L.A., JWs who didn’t speak much English would often come by early on Saturday morning. It didn’t bother me; rather it got me out of bed, which I kind of appreciated.

But they’d look at me, and attempt to move on to the next apartment. So I’d stop them and say, in Spanish, “You’re not going to go away after waking me up so early, are you?” Then I’d engage them in a conversation about why they should convert to Catholicism. I would quote Biblical passages (in English, because I didn’t know the Spanish) that supposedly meant they should become Catholic. In fact, I kept a copy of the Bible by the door just for such occasions. I did everything to make the conversation my proselytizing of them, rather than theirs of me. Eventually they’d move on politely, and I’d say they were welcome to come back any time they wanted to reconsider Catholicism.

It’s pretty obvious even before someone talks.

29

That’s a hideous story! But clarify something for me…is that the law? That a sister can override a child’s decision? Are they considered equal deciders?

Do we have any JWs on these here boards?? I wonder what their percentage of “come on in” vs. “get the fuck outta here” is.

30

I wonder what happens when Mormons and JWs pass each other on the street?

31

The hospital argued that it was an emergency and the daughter’s religious beliefs were not her mother’s. I was furious at the time that they wouldn’t consider my sister’s partner’s wishes. They had only been together for 12 years! But they needed something signed by a family member authorizing the transfusion.

This is why I’m so in favor of same sex marriage, and why I distrust the JW’s.

32

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=eu9H4qsZK4o

33

Very interesting. Thank you. I share your outrage.

34

You’re lucky. I’ve had them returning to my apartment every week on Saturday at 10 am on the dot. They also come by on national holidays. I was nice the first few times, even had a nice little chat with the first two ladies and the head guy who showed up the next week. Now they won’t leave me alone. And the head guy insisted several times on being invited into my apartment…

I barely ever even invite friends into my apartment. Definitely not inviting that (charming, friendly, and overall delightful) sumbitch in.

Anymore, I just plan my weekends so that I will be out of the house when they come. Ever since the New Year, they haven’t stopped by, so I’m hoping they’ve either gotten the message or assumed I’ve moved/died.

35

Wow, don’t get me started on these guys. My home is my castle, my refuge and I hate, hate, hate when people think they can come to my door, early in the morning and push their religion on me or otherwise try to sell me something.

A few years ago I was getting a string of them on Saturday mornings, usually around 10 am. Sure that’s not early, early but I often have bouts of insomnia or work late therefore like to be able to sleep late on my day off and occasionally I had just worked the graveyard shift and had only just managed to get to bed. I tried to politely explain this the first few times and explain I was not interested in their Door-to-Door Fuller Brush Religion. I once made the mistake of saying I was a devout Catholic but that made them even harder to get rid of . So I told them I believed that our God was a lot kinder than theirs since all those who deserved to go to heaven did and didn’t have to go around annoying people in their homes to complete some silly pyramid scheme to get a few open spots in heaven then I just slammed the door in their faces.

I had heard that they would mark down at their church (or Hall or whatever it’s called) not to visit certain homes if you request it. So the next time they showed up I politely requested that they do this and not bother me anymore. Well, not so much politely as loudly. This worked for several months then they came again. That time I had been sleeping in a very thin tank top with no bra on (it was slightly chilly) and my Beavis and Butthead Cornholio boxer shorts (BTW, I’m female in case the bra thing wasn’t a good clue). I opened the door wide and gruffly said “What do you want?!”, I think I even scratched my butt for good measure, and they turned around and left and did not come back for years. I did not answer the next time, I looked out the window, shook my head and walked away, I did not have on my B&B boxers on for protection. They rang again, then knocked and I shouted “go away!” and they did leave but not before leaving the damned pamphlets.

Had I known that Beavis and Butthead would have worked so well, I would have kept them by the door to throw on in a JW emergency. I thought about putting out some deterrents, like a blood smeared knife impaling a JW pamphlet with some more blood spatters for effect or hang a JW voodoo doll near the door because they still come around but not as often as a few years ago.

36

Definitely do not invite them in! They cannot enter if they are not invited in, if you do invite them in then they will just bite you on the neck and suck all your blood until you pass out and then when you wake up you’ll be a JW. Be careful!

37

No they won’t, beause that would constitute a transfusion.

38

roflmao!

39

Not a transfusion, direct consumption, which I understand is the basis for refusing transfusions.

40

My sister and her partner knew a lesbian couple who had a sign on their door “WE ARE LESBIANS. DO NOT BOTHER US,” and the JW’s still insisted on knocking. One of the lesbians did a bit where she held her arms to the sky and commanded the Lesbian Goddess to cast the demon out of these believers in a man-made religion, or some such nonsense. They ran away and never came back.

Apparently there is a JW segment in California that targets gays and lesbians.