I can honestly say that “decision tree on scat” is not a phrase that I have ever read before.
Wow, so yeah, raccoon really does fit the description. Thanks Enkel!
We really need an SDMB compendium of esoteric web resources.
Yeah… normally I would think that refered to a management emergency response process… but no, it is actually a pooper picker
I’m still trying to figure out what kind of diabolical mind the OP thinks it would take to move a plastic bubble and shit on a windowsill.
It doesn’t take brains to defecate. And being diabolical doesn’t require intelligence. In fact, if I suspected a bitter ex-employee had a vendetta against me, the first thing I would expect them to do is poop in a bag and leave it flaming on my doorstep.
I could see it being a raccoon. I found a huge pile of shit outside my front door one morning - it looked like someone had moved my Blue Box, shat behind it and put it back. I was all WTF?! and posted a pic to Facebook. My friend commented that it was raccoon crap. I don’t know if the raccoon moved the box back or one of my neighbours did (shared porch.)
Homeless person.
The Phantom Pooper strikes again!
I just walked outside to check and while the bubble over the window is undisturbed (there are about 20 bricks holding it down. It would be difficult for an animal to move) there is a fairly large and rather fresh looking pile of poop right next to the bubble.
This pile doesn’t look as large as the previous examples but I suspect it’s the same critter and now that it’s not down in the window well and I can clearly see it, I’m suspecting raccoon or possum, maybe even a large cat though, like I mentioned, my cat is 19 lbs and I scoop his litter box and he never leaves a pile that big. Not the size of the turds so much but the sheer volume of it.
Never thought I’d spend this much time examining shit but I have to admit, it does make a great story. I told my daughter yesterday and she said the same thing as kayaker maybe it’s my mother in law. And while she is declining mentally and sometimes exhibits strange behavior (Mother in law, not my daughter 
), I just can’t imagine it.
Thanks for the interesting and informative link Enkel.
Phantom Pooper! A superhero for the new millennium.
Googled “raccoon scat” just for shits and giggles and found this page that has a warning you might want to keep in mind:
Further down it notes that droppings are usually left in “latrines” which raccoons visit repeatedly. Seeing as how the Phantom Pooper keeps coming back to the same spot, it probably is a raccoon instead of your husband or mother-in-law. A human would be more likely to think “Where ELSE can I poop that will freak velvetjones out?”
Stately Wayne Manor’s outhouse.
And/or The Scat Cave?
For the win!
I sometimes have good results deterring an animal from repeat visits using mothballs.
Yeah, now you to find out what smells racoons dislike. Then treat your grounds with it.
Scat-man! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na…
…and his sidekick Ploppin! 
Just add sling shot and your chances of deterant would easily double. I’m sure mothballs would make one mean suppository. 
“Wha…? What’s all that racket? A raccon??? What the Hell’s gotten into that thing…?!”
Target sells organic pest repellent. We might try that but Mr. Jones has called animal control and asked for assistance given what Olentzero posted we don’t want to take chances.
I thought about mothballs but this is near where my dryer vents and I don’t really want the smell of mothballs getting down into my dryer.
Raccoons succumb easily to subsonic subcutaneous lead poisoning. Just sayin’…
I was just about to google that when I realized. :smack:
Subsonic = speed at which bullets leave the barrel of a gun.
VunderBob you’re welcome to come over and try your luck at shooting the critter. I can pay you in home made wine
I don’t own a gun nor have I ever so I’m more likely to blow my own toes off than get the critter.