About two years ago, I was a contractor working for an oil company in Russia. It was one of those nightmare jobs that comes up occasionaly where everything was a disaster. Massively over budget, non existent logistics, dangerous and generally unpleasent. In itself, that wasn’t the worst thing though. That was this one guy in the office who everyone hated.
Initially, he was given the nickname Miss Piggy due to his prima donna antics and little beady eyes. Later he became Miss Piggy the pedophile thanks to his 17 year old Russian girlfriend. Miss Piggy had two great assets. He could talk the hind legs off a donkey and he was prepared to stab anyone he could in the back. Actual job related skills, however, were some what absent.
About a month after the contract ended, I got a phone call from one of the top guys in my company. He was absolutely livid with me. He was on the verge of firing me for incomptence, but I managed to weather the storm, despite a very large dagger sticking out of my back. I was more than a little surprised and upset by this. And I couldn’t be sure what the exact problem was that got my boss so worked up.
Until last night.
I happened to meet up with someone else who worked on the same job. It turns out that Miss Piggy the pedophile stuck a dagger in the back of one random person from every service company. That was a relief, but more was to follow. Miss P the p left Russia and went to work in Turkey, where he managed to a) get himself a new, um, special young friend and b) sent some sort of e-mail to the corporate HQ containing some sort of racist comments about the locals.
Bye Bye Turkey.
He then applied to be posted to Angola. They said no. When the Angola office refuses to have you, you’re in deep, deep, doodoo.
And now, if you happen to live in the North West of England and want send your teenaged daughter to buy a bunch of flowers, tell her to avoid Miss Piggy’s Floral Arrangements. Miss P the p (ex oil company executive) is now running a florist’s shop.