Cockfucker customer trying to get me fired

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m drinking heavealy and am pissed. I have a strange job. I work for one company with an exclusive contract to another. My company provides all the tooling and support materials to a factory in the rust belt city I live in. Part of the contract is to provide an on site person to facalitite (sp, I’ve been drinking) all the orders. That’s me.

My company has about $150,000 in inventory at the customer’s building or in our whearehouse on consignment. Once in a while something comes in ground wrong or damaged. Because I’m there in the building I get the shit from it. Instead of being on the other end of a phone, I’m on site so I catch the grief like it’s my fault that the vendor screwed up, not us the middleman.

We fix the problem, carry the inventory, stock the min/max set up, but I’m there to catch the shit. I’ve been doing this for almost 2 years and feel like I’m ground to a stump. YES IT’S MY FAULT! I TOLD THE ASSHOLE VENDOR **YOU WROTE THE PRINT FOR ** SPECIFIED TO SEND FUCKED UP PRODUCT. I found out today that they want to break the contract and send the whole inventory program out to bid. They don’t like my attitude.

Well fuck you, you AIDS infected sadio necrofeiliac cum gargling gutter slut of a pussy assed goat feltching pedophile enginner that has a hard on for my replacement. I’m not losing my job because of your incomptence or nepotisim. You had a meeting with my boss today trying to get me fired. You have balls the size of grains of sand. You couldn’t tell me to my face what problems you had with me? If I could get acess to your PC during the day I would download the most vile disgusing beastiality kiddy porn I could find and send it out in email company wide under your name. You cockfukcer, messing with my livelyhood.

I’m not a salesman who brings you donuts or gift certificates to dinner like the last guy. I’m a flat salary guy trying to do his job to keep the machines running in this, one of a very few, profitable machine shops in this shitty ass city. I’m very good at my job. The 99.9% of the time all goes well or I fix other problems or get here shit UPS overnight you never see.

You can suck my left nut. Watch out it might make the right one jealous you syphilous (sp, getting really drunk) infectected piece of fuck. You aren’t a real engineer. You are only a tech with a few years on the job given the title because all the real engineers moved to North Carolina or California.

You are a petty little excuse for a man looking to make a name for yourself by fucking me.

**Fucking me dry without a common curtiousy of reach around. Grrrrrr **

2

A masterful condemnation.

Except, I gotta say, I can spell when drunk a lot better than that right up until the point my face hits the keyboard. It’s true. I’ve written drunk emails to prove it. I recommend you improve your skills by posting while drunk more often.

(By the way, I do like that little idiom-blend you have in the title. “Cockfucker”? Nice!)

3

That’s just his 18th century keyboard.

4

“Greenfleeves. Funny name for a fong.” - Flanders and Swann, ca. 1960.

5

Am I the only one who read this as “fecalite”? :stuck_out_tongue:

6

Good point. Those of us who have run out of Moosehead and have broken into the bottle of Drambuie that is the only thing left in the cupboard agree with this point entirely.

The Leith police distresseth us.

Sally picks seashells by the seashore.

ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA

Yeah, I’m just fine.

7

Sorry, Mr. Goob but as I’m sure you know, those who would build themselves up by grinding down others we will always have with us.

8

Drunk or sober, that was a powerful pit. I don’t normally use cuss words myself but dayam, that was well done, man!

9

Goob is filled with Grrrr

I am filled with :confused:

I have a vague idea of what Goob does, but not what the engineer’s gripe is, and therefore whether it might [just possibly] have some justification.

10

I especially enjoyed this bit:

The misspellings actually ADD to the effect, rather than detract, in my opinion. If I only posted in the pit I’d be tempted to use that as my sig.

11

That is one mighty strange job. Where do I apply after they fire your fucked over ass?

12

Thank you for the kind words. I’m not as riled up as I was yesterday. Methinks I need to compose things in Word where F7 is my friend.

I thought I had a pretty good spew of bile going until I read the masterful rant done by Euthanasiast about his ex.

I am in awe.