Slow pan & zoom on a horizontal white form wriggling violently down the runway. As we get closer the MC clues us in to what we are seeing:
“Inigo is wearing a starch white heavy canvas ensemble from Gucci’s “I love me jacket” line. Treble nylon weld stitching and overlength sleeves are highlighted by fine Corinthian leather straps and Roman bronze buckles and eyelets. Accessorizing this garment is a breeze as Inigo sports a highly absorbent and close-fitting adult undergarment manufactured exclusively by Dow Chemical for Calvin Klein, and a very stylish Spalding ball gag provided by a local retailer! But wait! There’s a surprise in store as Lars and Hans will presently demonstrate!”
Lars & Hans, heavily muscled, clean shaven, also dressed in winter white appear on the stage. From a pocket in the back of the straight jacket a heavy leather lariat is produced and quickly and neatly applied to the feet of the writhing form. With an effortless tug, the lariat is drawn tight and the heels are drawn securely to small of Inigo’s back. The form is now motionless and silent apart from an almost imperceptible sob. Lars and Hans grasp canvas loops on the back of the jacket and easily hoist the bundle between them and sashay off the runway and backstage.
“Ladies and gentlemen. Gucci!
