Inigo is leafing through the salvage database at work. Locates a recovered stolen vehicle–a 1998 Porsche 911 turbo–with no damage. Logs out for the day & heads on over to the salvage yard
Inigo: Hey salvage yard lady, My name is Inigo Montoya, I am a representative from The Very Large Insurance Company of America. I need to collect stock item number 7337663 and deliver it to the original owner. Yes, I’ll need the keys. Thank you, you’re beautiful, but I’m sure your boyfriend tells you that all the time. Oh, is that right? That’s a shame…say, want to go to a party? It’s a bit of a drive from here so we’d need to leave, like, now. Great. I’ll meet you downstairs.
later
“No it’s not really grand theft auto…because we’re not stealing it. It belongs to my employer now and I am on official business in the company’s car.”
VVRROOOOMM
later
: KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK :
Quicksilver: uh yeah? Inigo: Dude! Put some clothes on, there’s a party about to happen! Quicksilver: Uh, cool. I guess…what’s that got to do with me? Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. That’s my black Porsche. Prepare to drive.
::Off to the liquor store with an expense account card in the name of The Very Large Insurance Company of America::
The Weird One is standing on the front porch, homebrew and Homebrew in hand
WeirdO: Can we come to the party? Inigo: You’re stalking me, aren’t you? WeirdO: Yeah, but I have homemade sassafras ale. It’s like boozy root beer! Ingio: Well, in that case, come on in! WeirdO: WOO!! PAR-TAY!
a few beers later
WeirdO: Hey, Quicksliver, hic you can tap this keg anytime. hic Oh, did I mention that this sassafras hic ale is 7.5%?
Ooo, I can paint good! hic Heyyy, did I ever tell ya about that time in college I watched two lesbians finger-painting each other? Aw, man, art school was the hicbest! Where’s the paints?
