Oh, yes- I have found a special number for the police just to report criminal bullying at school, and you bet your ass I’m going to use it from now on. Thanks!
oh, and Alice, there’s a movie called Bullied that you may like. I got mine from the SLPC for $5 S&H fees because I’m a teacher…but maybe you can find a copy?
You totally have legal recourse. Stand your ground. Please.
Also, xo to your boy.
Yes, it’s definitely a concern. And a big part of the reason that I’ve gotten him into counseling and behavioral health. I don’t think that he would kill himself, but he has spoken of it and I’m very aware of the possibility.
Thanks- I’ll look for it.
This thread made me cry when I saw the updates. (Again.)
Please, are you sure you can’t homeschool? Even for a year? Try another school, try harder? Just keep trying your options in the meantime? This must be TERRIBLE for you.
Does he have a cell phone so that he can reach you in an emergency?
Good. You also need to use the general number and report and press charges on each and every assault on your child. That is what it is.
Whatever education he would be getting at school IS NOT WORTH the trauma it sounds like he is undergoing. NOT WORTH IT! Get him the fuck out of that school! Even if it means he sits at home doing nothing. What is he learning at this school, how to turn bricks into gold? What amount of information could be so valuable that it’s worth subjecting him to hellish abuse? I’m serious about this. Get him the fuck out of the school, bring him home, let him stay at home until you can figure this situation out, even if all he does is play video games. Really!
I wish I could do that, Argent. I tried to do that, twice, to force them to put him in another school or he just wouldn’t go. It 1)didn’t work, 2)will probably cause him to miss enough school that he will have to repeat 7th grade next year, and 3)caused me a great deal of anxiety over possible legal ramifications against me for truancy. It feels horrible and wrong to send him to school, and also horrible and wrong for him to be at home instead of at school. The only thing I can think of now is to talk the psychiatrist he will be seeing at behavioral health for meds and see if they have any thoughts on what we could do, seeing as how it is clearly affecting his mental health. One more full week of school and it will be semester break, and there is the possibility that an opening will come up in another school. Also, if any more bullying occurs, it will be addressed in an urgent and forceful manner.
Homeschool. You don’t have to do it during the daytime. And in 7th grade, he can be home alone in the day, right?
“the hell”? Really? You are already too defeated to think of anything but drug your own child so he doesn’t mind the abuse. Nice. You go and buy homeschool materials. You go and join a group, do the paperwork and Do your job as a parent. YOU chose to handle this. YOU fix it; or start teaching your young man, for that is what he is now, to defend himself and get ready for a different type of fight with the system. You child is being beaten, abused, and tormented, and the best you can do as mother is to send him back after breaking your own word too, and drug his ass to endure it? He has mentioned thoughts of suicide He doesn’t need drugs. He needs the torment and beatings to end. He needs to be able to deal with situation in a real manner, and since you’ve decided to handle it for him, he needs you to pull up your big girl panties, get into momma bear mode, and FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD’S SAFETY. Guess what Alice? You might well get a few truancy fines slapped on your ass. It happens. I’m not a parent but I can tell you I’d go to the absolute wall for any children I’d have, and nearly as far for my nephew, and some other children of close friends that I’m like an uncle to. I can tell you concretely that I’d see myself drawn and quartered before I’d send a child unprepared back into an abusive environment.
You know what? I’m so angry right now I’m going to add to my post.
You want advice? Here is the best I can give.
You march your ass into the Principal’s office, refuse to leave until you’ve met with them, and tell them the following: "Since it appears I have no other option but to keep my child in your care and responsibility, I am expecting you to take all measures to ensure his safety. I have no faith in your ability to do so, but it seems I have no other recourse available to me at the moment. For every time my child comes home abused from this point on I will be filing a police report and lawsuit for criminal assault against the abusers, and one against the School district, His teachers, and you personally for negligence and anything else that might stick. He has an expectation of a safe learning environment, and you have consistently failed him and either ignored our complaints or failed to take them seriously. This is completely unacceptable. Further, I will be contacting the media and explaining to *them * the situation, that you seem to be unable to prevent a learning disabled boy from being beaten in your care, which i imagine will be extremely interesting to them. I will not further negotiate with you. I expect you to do your jobs, stick to your supposed principles against this type of behaviour and remedy this issue.
This is what I did. My child was bullied once…once but by the teacher and I was in that principal’s office and stayed with it until it was faxed. I mentioned the media and all sorts of hell I would rain down if it wasn’t fixed…and he believed me because I stood there in uniform and meant every single word. I used words like bullying, harrassment, media and litigation.
I received a contrite call from the teacher within an hour and it stopped, immediately. If I even suspected my child was being tormented, I would homeschool her in a heartbeat. There is no job more important than being a parent…not being a helicopter parent but when you know the abuse is happening, you do something.
Have you called the media? I can help you get your messaging done, if you need…
Keep him out of the school. If the school says there is no other option, they are lying. They don’t want to look like they can’t handle it and they don’t want to go to the trouble. Keep him home and eventually someone will come crawling to you and presenting you with the other options that surely are out there.
What do you think will happen if you just keep him home? Eventually it will get escalated and the problem will be addressed.
Well, if he misses enough school, she could be arrested. So, there’s that. I’m not sure who will fight for him if she’s sitting in jail because of truancy.
Your problem is you’re looking at this as one problem. It’s a lot of problems.
First of all is your kid’s immediate safety. You need to find withdraw him from school and keep him out. Send an certified letter to the principal and others telling exactly why you’re taking this step.
You’re going to have to wait, till they come looking for you, to as why your kid is out of school. Yes, that means possible legal problems for you, but they aren’t doing anything. The certified letter will help you in defense. Only after the problem comes to a head will they look at it.
Then your second problem is keeping your kid educated. As bad as it’s to be bullied, it’s going to be worse next year, when he’s held back a year and bullied.
Third is getting emotional support for your kid and yourself.
Fourth is long term techniques for helping your child survive in the real world, where bullies are a common thing.
And that is just four areas. As you can see a problem like yours is overwhelming when you’re confronted with it. You have to break it down piece by piece and takle each piece on it’s own. And that isn’t easy.
Add to that your son is 13, which is pretty much the worst time for any male kid, whatever he is.
I wish you well, but you’re going to have to do somnething drastic, and the first step is removing the kid, till the school can guarantee his safety. Document the step with a letter and wait till the school comes to you. Unfortunately only after it comes to a head are they going to bother with you.
I wish you well. And don’t let this mess, keep you or your kid from having a happy holiday.
Ditto on the truancy / arrested. Especially if the school folks start getting nervous, they’re likely to start trying to get the heat off themselves by getting YOU in trouble.
Does your school district offer any kind of electronic classroom program? A lot of them do, nowadays - the kids are basically homeschooled but follow a curriculum including (I think) periodic live meetings (via webcam or something). Friends in the Phoenix area use that program. I think theirs is provided by K12, which is a for-profit developer of curriculums (curricula?) for such purposes.
That is free, to the families (don’t know if they have to provide the computer or if the school does so).
Might this be an option in your case? I don’t know your work situation, whether your son could do such work independently, etc, but it’s something to look into. I went to the Pima County Schools webpage and found this:
http://www.schools.pima.gov/images/uploads/vitual_schools_09-10.pdf
Oh give me a break!:rolleyes: She’s going to state in writing why he’s staying at home and that she has stated that his current placement is inappropriate for about a million reasons.
Maybe, but that might not stop the school from being jerks, especially if they’re getting nervous.
From here,
It does not specifically say that Arizona parents can be jailed (it does cite Pennsylvania and Virginia as having the ability to do so). It does say the child can come to the attention of the law.
So, the rolleyes are not called for.
Do I think the school would immediately jump to bring the law in on the truancy situation? Possibly not. Do I think they might do so at some point? Yeah. And I don’t think they’d bother showing that certified letter to the court if they weren’t forced to.
The world does not work the way you think it does.
They won’t arrest you for truancy as long as you use the proper education speak. The law is actually on your side, as they are in violation of his IEP and are denying him a Free Appropriate Public Education, as required by law.
When I was going through IEP hell with one of my own kids, this web site http://www.wrightslaw.com/ was a godsend. Seriously, you will find anything and everything you need here to win this battle. You can even make the school district pay for his private school tuition in the event they cannot offer him FAPE. Apparently, they cannot meet his needs, as they keep claiming there is no other placement. You have a lot more rights than you know.