Figure it’s about time for another round of my favorite board game.
The rules are simple, take a recognizable set of lyrics from a popular song and rewrite them in as obfuscatory a manner as possible without changing the meaning. If you recognize the lyrics another poster has put up, translate them back to the original. If you solve one, you are obligated to put a new one up in its place.
Here’s a few to get the ball rolling;
What I must now ask of you might seem mad, for I have only now made your acquaintance. Nonetheless, I shall now provide you with my contact information, and request that you and I (should you deign to do so) engage in long-distance voice communication.
I assure you it is not my intent to murder you with a firearm out the window of a moving automobile. For though I find myself awkward in the company of others, I am so enamored with you that a double-walled plastic garbage receptacle would be necessary to contain my enthusiasm.
I was created in the image of the Lord. Therefore, I must be what He desires me to be, and the manner in which I am living my life must be the correct one.
There is a locus in the business district of this municipality
Where the aberrant portion of the populace present themselves
It is an aperture in the rampart
It is a begrimed donnybrook
And they arouse me in a sexual manner
When they divest themselves
When they divest themselves
The whole multitude, divest yourselves
Hint:
It’s by my favorite singer, whom I discuss ad nauseum on the SDMB
“I swear baby, she’s a nut case, I’m not her baby daddy, I never had sex with her, I think we might have danced one night at a club, but that was it…I don’t care if the kid has ‘my eyes’, he’s not mine.”
ETA “No, really, I’m not her baby daddy, she’s just saying that”
My breakfast was overcooked by my spouse, one of my lower extremities was savaged by my own canine, my post-pubescent female progeny absconded from the home, and my male progeny apparently likes dudes. I would be able to handle all this were it not all occurring today.
I opted to abandon favorable urban employment, where a hominid required my services both nocturnally and diurnally; however, concerns about possible alternate realities have not caused me any insomnia.
While you have no guarantee of the permanence of my affection, nonetheless, until such time as white dwarves and red giants can no longer be observed in the firmament, skepticism is unnecessary, as I shall bolster your certainty. All save Yaweh Himself are ignorant of the repercussions I would suffer in your absence.
I’m beginning to shake and get some sweaty palms. No reason to think that you’ve told me lies, but this is a clusterfuck. I’ll sprint through the inclement weather, gasping for air, until I’m exhausted… I’m a bit absentminded, and I’m awaiting our rendezvous in the wrong location.
Yesss… and yours is “Fool in the Rain” by Led Zeppelin
I consider concupiscence on your part for my person highly desirable; similarly, I consider the absolute necessity of my presence in your life a sine qua non; your adulation for me would be treasured. You are hereby beseeched to approach me with supplications of your own.
I will endeavor to give my antiquated russet Oxfords a lustre, while donning an unused chemise, and curtail business activities prematurely in order to obtain a statement of amorousness.
Is it not the case that I observed you in a lachrymose state?
I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I love you to love me, i’m begging you to beg me, etc.
New one: I entered a small town in Pennsylvania feeling like I had died thirty minutes ago, for I was tired and needed sleep; yet when I asked a passer-by if there was any shelter to be found, his only word as we changed a physical gesture of introduction was a negative response.
This is I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick, I believe.
The object of this song was a well-maintained vehicle capable of high speeds - the premier example with which I was familiar.
