It’s been a few years since we’ve done one of these threads, and the lyrics quiz threads got me to reminiscing about how much fun it was, so I figured i’d start a new one.
Simply put, it works like this;
Take a recognizeable lyric from a popular song. Without changing its meaning, rewrite it in as verbose, obfuscatory, and convoluted manner as you can. Feel free to abuse your thesaurus to the limit. Number your contributions for ease of reference. Try your best to figure out what the previous’ posters lyrics are and contribute some of your own!
I’ll throw out a few to get the ball rolling;
There exists a person of the female persuasion, of a mind that all coruscant matter is of an aurous nature; she is engaged in the purchase of an inclined stepping-route to the realm of the divine.
She was only a woman from a settlement low in population density, and her sphere of existence was solitary; she departed on a locomotive, late at night, bound for no particular destination.
In the past, I have travelled a thoroughfare, lengthy and meandering, on which your place of residence is situated, and I expect that said thoroughfare will remain in service for the foreseeable future.
Though I both desire and have necessity for your person, there are no circumstances under which my having romantic intents would occur. This is no cause for depression, as a 66% success rate is an admirable one.
You and I were reclined by the water’s surface, if you recall, when it occured for the first occasion that you embraced me - me!, the conservative scion of a fellow known for recklessness. Your actions transformed me into an insurrectionist. Of all things that have been in my possession, you are paramount.
A diabolical lunar ascendance is readily visible to me, as are incoming travails, seismological disturbances, atmospheric electrical discharges, and malevolent chronology within the next 24 hours. Failure to remain in your domiciles may be fatal.
If it is your desire, you may engage in rhythmic movement of the body and limbs. However, those you count as acquaintances may choose not to; if this is the case, you would do well not to accompany them, as they would not in such event become acquaintances to me.
I think 3) is “The Long and Winding Road” but I don’t know the song to be able to translate the lyrics accurately. However:
“I want you, I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you, but don’t be sad, 'cos 2 out of 3 ain’t bad” (2 out 3 ain’t bad by Meatloaf - I suggested this as a “first dance” song at my wedding and deservedly got a slap for it!).
A new one:
We appear to be existing on a message to a deity, if you will accept the outermost part of one of my upper limbs I will testify under oath that we will achieve our goal.
“Without exception, your respiratory system’s activities will be under my intense observation, as will your mobility, each failure on your parts to adhere to sacred covenants, and each attempt at perambulation.”
Taylor Swift… Do you remember we were sitting there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter. You are the best thing that’s ever been mine.
Soaked by discomfort repeatedly, changing into unchanging being, while my recollections repose, but never lose my memory of the missing. Please make sure I don’t oversleep the tenth month.
“I grabbed some cash - a little over a couple dozen bucks, and took the subway to Harlem. I feel terrible because I need more heroin, but my dealer apparently has no interest in arriving at the appointed time.”
You are in passion of your hard, highly refractive crystalline forms of carbon.
Also, your varied apparel is attractive, and you are transported in your automobile by a person hired to perform such a task, as you are fond of informing everyone.
However, under no circumstances should you engage in recreational activities with me. That would be tantamount to engaging in recreational activities with conflagration.
Beat-walkers of fate, charge this person with a crime. This man speaks in a language of numbers and equations, and makes a sound like the cooling elements of a household appliance. In summation, this man is like a wireless receiver which cannot properly read signals.
I did my best to not pay attention to him, instead beseeching my God to intervene on his behalf. Some idiots must strut on stage, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing—not even a willingness to crush a Muscadine while others destroy all comestibles.
By living a transient life, you intended to keep yourself unencumbered by rules and free of the dirt that settles on the rest of us. It’s backfired, though, instilling in you an isolating toughness and a love for drink.
As I race through the inclement weather, past the limits of my own endurance, my scattered thoughts all return to a single conclusion - I was in the wrong place for the meeting.
It is my fondest wish to become a possession of yours which is a tool consisting of a large flat head attached to a handle. I now beseech you to say, loudly, that word which is on my birth certificate.