Two very bad songs from the 70s:
Jeans On by Lord David Dundas - 1976
Totally insipid and forgettable.
Forever in Blue Jeans by Neil Diamond
Better than Dundas. Not much.
Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top
“Top coat, top hat,
I dont worry coz my wallets fat.
Black shades, white gloves,
Lookin sharp and lookin for love.”
And a spoof on The Streets of Lorado by The Smothers Brothers. It includes the line: “If you get an outfit, you can be a cowboy, too.”
“Hot Pants” by The Donnas.
“Girl In A T-Shirt” by ZZ Top.
“Blue Suede Shoes” of course!
“Puttin On The Ritz”
Which brings to mind “Joseph’s Coat”
It was red and yellow and green and brown
And scarlet and black and ochre and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn
And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and silver and rose
And azure and lemon and russet and grey
And purple and white and pink and orange
And red and yellow and green and brown and
Scarlet and black and ochre and peach
And ruby and olive and violet and fawn
And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve
And cream and crimson and silver and rose
And azure and lemon and russet and grey
And purple and white and pink and orange
And blue
I Can Dance, Leo Sayer:
Okay, I guess it’s more of a brief mention.
The song (by Spear) is properly named “Shirt.”
There’s also lines from “Look Out There’s a Monster Coming”:
What confidence in my new built-up shoes,
So smart for winter or summer.
Undetectable in normal everyday use.
There’s also Dorothy Fields’s “Pink Taffeta Sample Size 10” about a dress.
Saturday Clothes – Gordon Lightfoot
“Fishnet Stockings” by The Stray Cats.
“Black Leather” by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.
That horrible “Who wears short shorts?” song from a Nair (?) ad.
“My Beautiful Son”:
If you want to destroy my sweater.
Hold this thread as I walk away… As I walk away.
Watch me unravel, I’ll soon be naked.
Lying on the floor, lying on the floor
I’ve come undone.
Light she was, and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine,
Herring boxes without topses,
Sandals were for Clementine
I’m Wearin’ My Green Fedora–Fo’ Dora!
I’M WEARIN’ MY GREEN FEDORA, words & music by Joseph Meyer, Al Sherman and Al Lewis, 1934.
A rabbit sings it in a very early Looney Tunes cartoon while he’s baby sitting his younger brother.
I always loved it b/c when the older rabbit would sing it? The little one would stop squalling and go “hyuck hyuck” and my aunt could do that laugh and crack me up.
Originally a song by the Royal Teens, written by Bob Gaudio, who later wrote for the Four Seasons.
From “You’re the top”:
“You’re a Bendel bonnet.”
“You’re an arrow collar.”
Harry Warren’s “The Girl at the Ironing Board,” not only mentions clothes (linen, shirts, britches, socks, pajamas, union suits), but actually has the clothes singing the final verse:
“You know what I say to your hot pants?”
“Say what?”
“Say, get on down, ah hahahahaha!”
–The B-52’s, *“Hot Pants”
*
“The world is spinning too fast
I’m buying lead Nike shoes
To keep myself tethered
To the days I try to lose”
**–Gorillaz, **“19-2000”
“Devil’s Boots” – Mark Sandman
“Put Your Shoes Back On” – Southern Culture On The Skids
“AntiqueHighHeelRedDollShoes” – Rasputina
“Miniskirt Blues” – The Cramps
"Last night I had a crazy dream
About a chick in a black bikini
Oh, she looked so good
She couldn’t be real
She must be a magic genie
But then she disappeared around the corner
All I saw were three doors
And the top of her bikini
I made it through the first door
There was a party going on
I asked about the chick
But what they said was freaky
Chick-a-boom-chick-a-boom
Don’t ya jes’ love it"
–Daddy Dewdrop, “Chick-a-boom”
“They seek him here, they seek him there,
His clothes are loud, but never square.
It will make or break him so he’s got to buy the best,
'Cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.”
–The Kinks, “Dedicated Follower of Fashion”
“I could buy you a Lexus truck with a white leather interior
I could kill off some bears and dogs and shit just to make you a fur coat”
–Insane Clown Posse, “Another Love Song”
“Warm, In Your Coat” – Romeo Void
Bongo Bass and Bob “Clothes of the Dead”
Christmas Shoes!
Kellie Pickler, “Red High Heels”
Gretchen Wilson “Skoal Ring” (refers to the ring a can of chewing tobacco wears into the back pocket of jeans.)
More Harry Warren:
Spoon - “Fitted Shirt”
Nerf Herder: “Cashmere”
Guttermouth: “She’s Got the Look”
(Ok, that second one probably doesn’t count but I just love that song.) 