OK, there’s O Tannenbaum / O Christmas Tree
then there’s Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree
Others?
I need to be able to parody a variety of songs (substituting “microwave” for “Christmas Tree”… it’s a long story ).
Maybe the Charlie Brown “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” with “booop booop booop” instead of “looo looo loooo…”.
Magnetic Fields to the rescue!
Everything Is One Big Christmas Tree.
As a benefit, it also has the phrase “screw them” and a verse in German.
So, yesterday I was in the hardware store, and they had a Christmas tree. Instead of ornaments, it was hung with products, including those scented trees you hang off the rear view mirror of your car. That seemed a little silly, hanging a fake tree on a bigger (fake) tree, but there are a lot of ornaments that feature Christmas trees, so maybe it’s simply surreal…
Sufjan Stevens “Put The Lights On The Tree”
Cardinal & Eric Matthews “If You Believe in Christmas Trees”
Bill Lloyd “Underneath the Christmas Tree”
Love it or Leave It “You Me and This Christmas Tree”
Mojo Nixon & The Toadliquors “Trim Yo’ Tree”
Vandals “Hang Myself from the Tree”
Chaston and Groditski “We Burned The Christmas Tree” (I found it at Amazon a couple of years ago)
Midget Handjob “Black Christmas Tree” ("")
Cool - thanks!
The story, by the way: we ordered a new over-the-stove microwave. Handyman came yesterday to install it - and he couldn’t get the old one down. Referred us to an appliance place he knows, and they haven’t showed up.
The new oven is still sitting in our living room - right where we need to put the Christmas tree. I keep threatening to decorate the box and put the presents around it.
Funny! Typo Knig once saw a display of stocking stuffers in a shop in NYC.
The display included dreidels.
Mindbending.
There’s I’m a Christmas Tree by Dr. Demento.
It’s not really a song, more of a spoken-word piece. Here’s my version of it for your enjoyment:
I’m a microwave
I’m a microwave
Everyone makes me to be their slave!
I’m a microwave
I’m a microwave
I warm up foods that people crave!
Oh, handyman!
Oh, handyman!
Please show up if you can!
He procrastinates!
He’s always late!
He travels all around town without a schedule!
I’m a wood stove!
I’m a wood stove!
I got- I mean,
I’m a lot like…
an Amish microwave!
But I’m not…
*
Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s “I Believe in Father Christmas” features the line:
*I remember one Christmas morning
A winters light and a distant choir
And the peal of a bell and that Christmas tree smell
And eyes full of tinsel and fire *
Several more traditional Xmas songs mention or allude to the tree.
“I’ll Be Home for Christmas” includes the line “Please have snow and mistletoe and presents on the tree.”
P.D.Q. Bach wrote a song, Throw The Yule Log On, Uncle John.
Very funny. Full lyrics here.
This reminds me…there are boxes for microwaves at Riteaid, and each states that they contain “an electronic microwave.” As opposed to what? Do they make hand-crank ones for power failures or something?
Okay, I got you started by working through the complicated (if it’s deliberate) rhyme scheme of the bridge in “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”:
The kids of Mama Zappa
(Unless they don’t behave)
Will find some gifts to unwrap a-
Bound-
Ing around
The microwave.
Double apocopation! I outdo my customary excesses!
My Christmas Tree from the Home Alone 2 soundtrack.
“Oh! Christmas Tree???” (to the tune of O Tannenbaum):
*Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree,
I’m singing to a pine tree.
Some malady is causing me
To serenade a pine tree.
Etc.
*
There’s Billy Idol - Yellin’ at the Christmas Tree.
Always glad to put a plug in for Catols for a Cure. The 1999 CD features the cast of Chicago singing O Funky Christmas Tree
O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum is Christmas tree in German.
Our Tannenbaum is bright and brassy just like Ethel Merman
Also mostly spoken: Alife the Christmas Tree.