It’s not unusual, waldenfont. Germans are well-known romantics. However, if you care to lower your tastes a bit…ok, a lot…here is a song that will make almost any man cry. Or at least cringe.
SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES
Come and listen to my story ‘bout a man named John.
A poor Ex-Marine with a little fraction gone-
It seems one night after beatin’ up the wife
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.
PENIS, That Is.
Clean Cut.
Missed His Nuts.
Well, the next thing you know there’s a Ginsu by his side
And Lorena’s in the car taking Willie for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she came around a bend
CURVE, That is
Tossed the Nub.
In the Shrubs.
She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his Weenie back
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed “over there!”
To John Wayne’s henry that was waving in the air.
FOUND, That Is
By a Fence.
Evidence.
Now Peter and John couldn’t stay apart too long
So a dick doc said, “Hey I can fix that dong.”
A needle and a thread is all we’re gonna need
And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed
WHIZZED, That Is
Even Seam,
Straight Stream
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a half-assed lawyer 'cause his assets came up short
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only thing they didn’t show on tape
VIDEO, That Is
Unexposed.
Case Closed.
Ya’ll Sleep on Your Stomachs Now!
Ya Hear…
-via email, author unknown