Perhaps this would beat your version of Funky Town. The granddaughter is at a catholic middle school, and their last music concert had them play tunes on bells and drums, often unrecognizable. After about 30 seconds we figured out it was FT, and started laughing.
This number needs to be brutally murdered, and then killed.
It slaughters you.
suddenly fit to be tied now
Yep.
This is my longtime and oft-repeated rant about “Hotel California”:
Here we have The Eagles…who have all the money, all the women, all the drugs and all the booze in the world at their disposal.
And what do they do?
They WHINE about it.
Oh, poor, poor Eagles! My heart just bleeds for you.
Horse with No Name
Hate it hate it hate it!
I’ll see you that and raise you Tin Man, which is just one trite non sequitur after another after another.
Yeah, that’s the other one I was trying to think of.
“…in the Tropic of Sir Galahad”???
Have some coffee with your psilocybin, already.
Get out of my cab!
A discussion on African swallows would ensue in some of our minds…
What? Laden or unladen? 
Actually most of the OoaLH lyrics were written by Trevor Rabin before Anderson even joined that version of Yes.
My most hated song? Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas is You.
What she needs for Christmas is to be crushed by a giant block of anthracite.
A belated thanks for setting that straight.
Will probably get flamed for this (especially for not having used that internet expression since maybe 2004), but I found David Bowie’s “Heroes” to be a totally monotonous two-note dirge. Not even Bob Fripp could save that one.
“sailing”" and it won an award (:-{ !!
Are you talking about the textbook definition of “yacht rock” by Christopher Cross?
“Sailing” by Rod Stewart also is a quite awful song, though maybe not bad enough for this thread.
yes, the ultimate Muzak to drive you crazy
Yep, take a mallet to that one.
I wasn’t aware of this one so just gave it a quick listen. Here is my emoji review: 
It was a big hit here and is still sometimes played on the radio. It’s one of the songs causing me to switch stations in milliseconds.
I love these “I hate this song” threads because they’re full of music I like. Appreciate the suggestions, everyone!
Now, for my contribution:
The entire oeuvre of AC/DC. Just ugly-sounding shit. If I never hear “Hell’s Bells” again, it will be too soon.
I like the Eagles, whose Greatest Hits album and Hotel California albums hold the #5 and #6 spots on the list of all-time bestselling albums. In fact, I’m good with every one of the Top 10 albums on that list, sans one. The #3 album - The Bodyguard soundtrack - is so bad that, given a choice between drowning in a bathtub and listening to that album in its entirety would be a difficult decision to make.