Sadly I do it too- and I am not that sort of person. Or at least I thought I wasn’t.
"Whose the best kitten in the whole wide world?
Chorus: The whole wide world
The whole wide world
Whose the best kitten in the whole wide world?
The Whole
Wide
World!
Repeat while patting very happy cat.
Also:
Whose my kitten, kitten, kitten?
Whose my little buddy?
Repeat.
Guess I am not insane.
Oh shit! I just forgot the ultimate cat song that I memorized ages ago from the book “Advanced French for Exceptional Cats”:
La Miaouseillaise
Allons, chatons de la patrie!
L’odeur de proie sonne le réveille!
Le temps du somme sacré est fini.
Écoutez! Dressez vos oreilles!
Écoutez! Dressez vos oreilles!
N’entendez-vous dans les sous-sols
Courir ces hautaines souris?
Ils viennent même sur les tapis
Dévorer les vivres dans nos bols!
refrain:
Faites vos griffes, chatoyens!
Montrez vos dents brillants!
Mordons! Mordons!
Qu’une boule de poils
Soit leur seul monument!
(Arise, you kittens of the fatherland! The scent of prey sounds the reveille! The time of the sacred nap is ended. Listen well! Prick up your ears! Listen well! Prick up your ears! Do you not hear in the basement, the scurry of those insolent mice? They run right on the carpets to eat the food from our very bowls!
Sharpen your claws, kittizens! Show your gleaming teeth! Let us bite! Let us bite! That a hairball may be their only monument!)
The kitty is outside
The kitty is outside
This is the song that we sing
When the kitty is outside.
And then there’s the song David Letterman sings:
Midnight
And the kitties are sleeping
Downstairs by the furnace
While birdies are cheeping
I used to sing to my one cat that was VERY large in gerth a lil’ tune to the song “Macarena”
I am a cat/
The fat one they call TUNA /
I am so hungry/
I need lots of Fooda/
Im starving/
please feed me/
if I sit here/
maybe they will see me
When I run/
my fat it does a jiggle/
i look at them/
and make them giggle
im starving/
please feed me/
if i sit here/
maybe they will see me
to the tune of O’ Canada.
Penelope
The sweetest kitty cat
you purr so loud, when you sit on my lap
When you wake me up, a-at 4 am
demanding some more food.
I-I want to spank you very hard
for being so-o-o-o rude
God keep my cat, tick and flee free
Penelope you are so sweet to me.
Penelope you are so sweet to me.
Every kitten in the room
Is looking at me
Wanna pet their fuzzies
But get afraid of what that could bring
I’ve got a kitty cat in the kitchen
And a kitten on the rug
Figures that my kitties would want to
Be petted now
I am looking for a kitten
On this dirty rug
Looking for a kitten who
Wants a great big hug
I am raising up my cat
Get another pat in
Just what Zazou needs
Some more strokin’
And why do we
Have to pet the cat
Every day
I have to pet the cat
Nothing I do is good enough for him
Have to pet the cat
Every day
I have to pet the cat
My clothes are sick of being
I said my clothes are sick of being
Co-o-o-o-vered in fur
Oh, oh oh
Co-o-o-o-vered in fur
Got a pet for a cat
who’s longing for food
But he’s got to let me stroke him
Before I feed him, dude
I got a cat named Zazou
He says will you ever learn?
You’ll get covered in fuzz if you
Hold me in your arms
(chorus)
Plee-a-e-a-e-a-ese fe-e-e-ed me
cha-a-a-a-ange my li-i-i-itter
I-i-i-i-i Me-o-o-o-o-o-o-w
Meow, meow
Looking for a kitten on the dirty rug
Looking for a kitten who wants a great big hug
And I’m raising up my cat, get another pet in
Just what Zazou needs, some more strokin’
Why do we have to pet the cat? (cho)
Never goin’ back again to change the litter box again you know,
Never goin back again to change the litter box
Every day…
Okay, Tori Amos is going to kill me now. And yes, I really did sing this to Zazou this afternoon.
I occasionally sing to my cat… but in meows so that she will understand. One of her favorites is “Nazi Punks (F*ck Off)” by the Dead Kennedys
The chorus of which goes something like this…
Meow Meow Meow
Meow Meow Meow
Meow Meow Meow
Rrrrow Hiss
Otherwise I am completely normal.
Jasper the cat
He’s all that
Just sing this over and over. Sometimes I might add (when he’s meowing to be fed but his bowl is full):
He’s very fat!
That Jasper cat
to the tune of Peggy Sue:
Kitty poo
Kitty poo
Stinky stinky stinky stinky kitty poo
Oh ho kitty
Kitty poo-ah-hoo, ah-hoo, ah-hoo hoo
We-ell I love ya cat
But I hate your kitty poo-a-hoo
to the tune of Godzilla:
Oh, no!
There goes Tokyo
Go go Chloezilla!
Yeah-eahhhhh
I have that stuck in my head now…only to the tune of “Amadeus”! :eek:
And from this humble beginning, NoClueBoy become the the most sucessful songwriter for cats ever!!
(Unfortunatley he later squanders his resulting fortune on catnip and…um…pussy. :D)
I do the Meow Mix commercial, too, just going, “Meow meow meow…” you get the idea.
I also dance around with Buffy in my arms. Hehehe…
To the tune of “Felix the cat”
Blue -oo the cat
the wonderful, wonderful cat
whenever she gets in a fix
she reaches into her box of tricks…
Welcome, kath94, fellow nutty cat-singer!
I sang NoClueBoy’s song for my boys just about five minutes ago. They’re still looking at me as if I ate too much of the catnip. While Khan seemed to appreciate the rhythm and the pure soul of the composition, Sirius seemed put off by the fact that the song did not actually have his name in it, as most of the songs I sing to them do.
My cat gets “how much is that kitty in the window” sung to her, and if you give her a cue by pointing, she will meow between each line…
How much is that kitty by the window? (meow!)
The one with the waggly tail? (meow!)
How much is that kitty in the window (meow!)
I do hope that kitty’s for sale (meow!)
This depends on her mood, naturally, and she refuses to do it for anyone who is just trying to get her to perform a trick… It must be sincere, and from the heart.
This is a fun one! All three of our cats have their own songs. Nubia, who we call Nubes, gets the zoom-zoom song from the Mazda (?) ad:
Nubes, Nubes, Nubes
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Nubes, Nubes, Nubes
Yeah, Nubes, Nubes, Nubes
Yeah, Nubes, Nubes, Nubes
Roger gets Bad, Bad Roger Cat (to the tune of Bad, Bad Leroy Brown, of course):
He’s bad, bad Roger Cat
Baddest cat in the whole damn flat
Badder than a stray old tom
Badder than his little mom
Pixel is a very naughty cat who’s also very sweet, so he gets this, sung to the tune of Popeye the Sailor Man:
He’s Pixel the Sweetbad Cat
Pixel the Sweetbad Cat
He does as he wishes
And then gives nose kisses
He’s Pixel the Sweetbad Cat
to the tune of I’m a Loser
Move, or I’ll bite your toe!
I’m a mouser kitty,
So why don’t you pet me?
Since others have already broken the species barrier, I’ve never sung to cats, but we did sing to my old dog Bear (may he rest in peace). Mostly, it was either “Marezy Dotes” (changed to Bearzy, of course), or “Waltzing Beartilda”: When he would jump up on us, we’d grab his front paws and dance with him. Oddly, though, we hardly ever sang “Waltzing with Bear” when we did this.
Now if you could only capture that on video … Hello AFHV! (Ka-Ching!)
Well for Max, there’s the “monster Max” (Monster Mash) and of course “Maxman” (Taxman)
And then for Tigger, there’s “She’s a Tiggy” (He’s a rebel)…and then I also sing Tigger’s theme “The wonderful thing about Tiggers”…oh, and “You’re so Vain”