If that’s the song I think it is, I heard it one single time…
It was in August of 1985. I was in Navy boot camp, and we were about to have our first rifle drill inspection, performing various rifle moves and such before inspectors. (IIRC, one was the “sixteen count manual of arms”)
As we all stood there awaiting the signal when we would snap to attention and do our thing, our company commander brought out a small boom box, popped in a tape, and played that song.
At that particular moment, in those circumstances (a military event), it seemed appropriate.
I can’t imagine any other place where that song would really fit in without sounding over-the-top.
I Just Called to Say I Love You - I think it’s by Stevie Wonder but I hate it so much I’m struggling at this moment not to hear it in my head. Thanks for nothing, OP!!
Little Arrows by Leapy Lea. Execrable.
I’m sure there are more but I’m madly doing the lalalalala, fingers in my ears thing right now.
re: Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” aka “Proud to Be an American”
I can think of one other place “God Bless the USA” might be appropriate.
When I became a U.S. citizen, I had to attend a naturalization ceremony. I wore the only good business suit I owned at the time, which I normally dragged out for job interviews, and filed into the LA Convention Center along with a couple thousand fellow immigrants. At the end of the ceremony, they showed the video of “God Bless the USA,” and I thought to myself, “Could this possibly get any more corny?” Then I looked to the side and noticed the elderly woman next to me was crying. What was corny and cliche to my cynical twenty-something self was, to her, one of the most emotional moments in her life. I felt like a heel. I still don’t like that song, but now I understand how she was feeling and why.
Someone mentioned “Sundown” by Gordon Lightfoot. Around the time that song was on the radio a lot, my family lived in the upper part of a duplex in Pico-Union, and I was a child and still learning English. The line “Sundown, you better take care, if I find you’ve been creeping 'round my back stairs” made me think of the rickety wooden staircase that led down to the alley,and how we would get in trouble if my folks found us playing there. Now that I’m a dirty-minded adult, I wonder if that line actually meant “Hands off my ass!”
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Other songs I actually do hate:
“Meet Virginia” by Train (very well-represented in this thread, I must say)
“Toot it and Boot it” - I forget who sings it, but it’s a particularly sexist song about not only humping and dumping women, but on top of that making them feel stupid if they show even the slightest amount of attachment to the guy.
“Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” by Trace Adkins, I think.
“Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” by the Beatles. I think it was Steve Martin’s performance of this song in the “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” movie that ruined this song for me forever - sad, because in all other instances I find Steve Martin funny. I’m surprised it didn’t completely ruin the Beatles for me.
1). “Use Somebody”–I can’t get over how ridiculous the lead singer’s pronunciation of “somebody” is. It must be a misguided attempt at sounding soulful or something, because I can’t imagine anyone pronouncing this word as “som-BAH-DAYAH” naturally.
2). “Marry Me”–Another piece of sentimental slop from Train. “You wear white, and I’ll wear out the words ‘I love you.’” Ugh, shoot me.
3). “Born This Way.” Lady Gaga normally sings pretty well, and intelligibly. But most of the lyrics to this one are inscrutable unless you first look them up and then listen to the song. It’s as if she’s singing with a mouth full of rocks, and I can’t stand that.
The cynic in me has concluded that she is intentionally mush-mouthing the lyrics so that it will receive wider airplay, as the song is all about gay rights. My hometown, population 30,000 and overwhelmingly conservative and bible thumping, plays the hell out of this song. I really can’t imagine them doing that if people could understand that she was singing about "loving him, and captial-H-I-M.
4). “Tonight I’m Loving You.” The lyrics are “Excuse me I don’t mean to be rude, but tonight I’m loving you.” This just sounds like a prelude to date rape to me. It takes two to decide if there’s any lovin’ going on. No matter how hot you are, Enrique Iglesias, you don’t get to decide who you get to “love” all by yourself.
5). The Black-Eyed Peas song that samples “I’ve Had the Time of My Life.” The song sounds like someone sat down in front of Adobe Audition (the musical version of Photoshop) and decided to play around with all the new features. Oh, let’s sample some popular 80s song and add------a beat!
Don’t forget every single staff Christmas party dance for the last 30 fucking years. “Hey, let’s get all the Boomers out on the floor with this song before they fall asleep at 9:30!”
Stevie Wonder is a case of his own. I adore his late 60s/early 70s stuff, but hate dreck like “I Just Called to Say I Love You” and “Ebony and Ivory” (with his partner in crime Paul McCartney, who likewise has a creative range from genius to dabbler) with a passion.
I (thankfully) don’t know this Black Eyed Peas song, but if this sample is from the Dirty Dancing song, it would be hell for me, as I loathe this song just like every Black Eyed Peas song I’ve ever heard.
And one more vote for “Free Bird”. I usually like Lynyrd Skynyrd, but never understood the love for this boring, trite song.
But I have to add “You Light Up My Life.” Debbie Boone I think. I had the misfortune of hearing this at the grocery store the other day and wanted to stab my eardrums. And then, like all ear worms…it stayed in my head. ACK.
A lot of people have mentioned good ones (I think damn near any Train one would qualify for my list), but here’s some that I don’t think have been covered yet.
Len – Steal My Sunshine. Insipid syrupy voices and an annoying intro. Plus, everyone in the video is a giant douche.
Toadies – Possum Kingdom. I know people on this board who love this song. I think it’s terrible. Repetitive gross creepy drivel.
Tonic – If You Could Only See. Has there ever been a bigger asshole in the history of lyrics than the narrator of this song? “If you could only see how this chick is so much better than you in every way, then you’d totally understand why I’m dumping you for her.” Wow, that totally helps me process this terrible heartbreak!
Faith Hill – Breathe. Someone pointed out to me that this song is MUCH better if you take every instance of the word “breathe” and replace it with “pee.” They were right.
Nena – 99 Luftballons. People LOVE this song. I don’t get it. I also pretend the English version didn’t exist, because it was worse. Essentially, this song is the same four lines over and over again, with the same long musical break in between them.
The song is obviously from the perspective of a guy who is unloved (and manipulated and lied to) by his woman. Of course he’s going to say things like this. It doesn’t make him an asshole. He found another woman who actually makes him feel good, and he’d rather be with her than the “you” woman he is singing to in the song.
There are so many horrible pop songs on the radio nowadays, I pretty much hate all of them. It’d be way too easy to list my least favorite of those songs. Instead I’ll list three classic songs which I hate hearing because they’re fucking overplayed on the classic rock radio stations:
Sweet Home Alabama
Take It Easy
Satisfaction (there are about 30 other Stones songs I’d rather hear than this one. It may have been their defining song, but it’s fucking played out.)
“Truly Madly Deeply” by Savage Garden is the only song that I refuse to listen to under any circumstances. If it shows up on radio, I will change the channel regardless of who else is listening.
“The Joker” - Steve Miller Band: By far my most hated song. I’d rather hear #2 through #5 10 times than hear this horror even once.
“Old Black Water” - Doobie Brothers: Don’t know why it sucks, but it does.
3-5. “Wildfire” - Michael Murphy; “Foolish Heart” - Steve Perry; and “Into The Night” - Benny Mardones: I used to have an upstairs neighbor who would play one of these three songs (and ONLY these three songs) over and over while singing along. They suck anyway, but the unwanted karaoke treatment took my hatred to the next level.
ETA: I see someone mentioned “Take It Easy”. That would be my #6.
Thankfully, I have been able to erase many, many horrible songs from my memory, at least to the point where I can’t spontaneously come up with them. At the moment, the ones that do come to mind are:
“Come Sail Away” by Styx (actually, just about anything by Styx)
“The Greatest Love of all” by Whitney Houston
“The Happiest Girl in the Whole U.S.A.” by Donna Fargo (although this sort of fits into the “so bad it’s good” category)
With regard to the songs mentioned by other posters – many would be on my list of most-hated songs, and a few would be on my list of most-loved songs.
My most hated song is Last Resort, by Papa Roach. In fact, hate isn’t a strong enough word…I LOATHE that song with every fiber of my being. I’d rather hear Nickleback on a loop than ever hear Last Resort again.
.
.
I’m sure there are others, but that’s the only one that comes to mind at the moment.
I get knocked down
But I get up again
They’re never gonna keep me down!
I get knocked down
But I get up again
They’re never gonna keep me down!
…ad nauseam…
I don’t even care about the other four songs the OP offered. If I can avoid hearing Tubthumping for the rest of my life, I promise not to complain about whatever else is on.
Except at Christmas. There’s nothing wrong with Christmas music in general, I guess, but there’s way more time to fill in the Christmas season than there is music to fill it.
