Songs you learned really wrong

Cafe Society
1

I had a friend who used to a bastardized version of “Mademoiselle from Armentieres.” It was more or less to the tune of “If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands,” which is true for some lines of the original, but not others. His version had these lyrics:

Oh, the Mademoiselle from Armentieres, parlez vous?
Oh, the Mademoiselle from Armentieres, parlez vous?
Oh, the Mademoiselle from Armentieres,
Drinking everybody’s beers,
Mademoiselle from Armentieres, parlez vous?

Sometimes he’d throw in a hinky dinky.

While there is a fine tradition of adapting this particular song, often with lyrics of questionable taste, his version diverged rather emphatically from the original.

Being the sort of person who wants to be able to break into World War I ditties (even if I *choose * not to), I have attempted to learn “Mademoiselle from Armentieres” as traditionally rendered, but to no avail.

What songs have you learned in such bastardized form as to render you unable to learn (or retain) the actual song?

2

Ta ra ra boom de ay.

I know the tune, but I was taught this song with very naughty (and extremely juvenile) lyrics, and didn’t know it was a real song until I was in my 20s. Fortunately, I am not called upon often to perform my rendition.

3

“Ja-Da”
Don’t know if this counts, since I’ve never tried to learn the original lyrics. I know several scurrilous adaptations, though.

4

This couldn’t be a Straight Dope thread without a mention of Louie Louie :smiley: