I thought it was so obviously a joke that there wasn’t a need to indicate it.
But then, this is Trump, so you never know…
What if the turkey has violated some state law, and Trump can’t pardon him/her?
Trump fears he will be actually a Stool Pigeon.
Interesting point. Perhaps a few folks we can think of will be watching very carefully to make sure he gets it right!! 
So…gophucken?
Ummm, okay.
And by “ok,” I mean “ew.”
Trump will have a Twitter-fit when the turkey he pardons doesn’t show the proper gratitude, then fails to stand for the national anthem. Trump will insist that Butterball suspend the disrespectful bird. He’ll threaten to send the turkey back to Turkey, ignoring the evidence that it was hatched in the U.S.
It’s too bad turkeys don’t tweet.
Crossing a road, perhaps?
“This is an annual tradition, reaching back to… a lot of people don’t know that. Everyone says that the turkey, well not everyone but respected people have told me. Reaching back to, if you think about the Pilgrims, nobody ever talks about the Pilgrims anymore. Not politically correct. I’m going to. So the Pilgrims came to Plymouth Rock. It is a big rock, have you seen it? I have. It could have been the biggest… but some don’t believe it. I don’t. It’s doesnt make any sense! Why should… you know the dishonest media says otherwise. Can’t trust… if it were up to the media they would not report on this, my pardon. The Chinese know how to pardon, but why aren’t they grateful? I got this done, and they should be saying “Thank you thank you,” but nothing! The lesson is, don’t steal in China, because I’m not going to do it anymore. China could do more. You better give thanks because I’m making them stand up to little Rocket Man, and he’s not going to be pardoning turkeys, believe me. They say he has lifts in his shoes because he’s so short. No lifts here, that’s for sure. Have you seen his stomach? He would eat every turkey in sight. It’s sick. I don’t want to even think about… that’s why, today, for the first time… a lot of people don’t recall the first time. It was so long ago. But I remember, you probably don’t, with the dishonest media. We know there was no collusion. Muller told me so. Like Comey, three times. It’s in writing. You can see it, there’s no secret about it. Nobody will say it but I’m going to. If you listened to CNN, would you know that some polls put my approval at 50%? Some say it’s more than that, maybe high 50s, maybe not that high but that’s what I’ve heard. No you wouldn’t. Others say it couldn’t be done, like physically. But will you look at me? Because I know how to do it.
“Thank you and happy Thanksgiving - a lot of people won’t say that now, but happy Thanksgiving, and I’ll see you at the White House holiday party.”
(embiggened for convenience)
I was going along, just smiling as I read it, but seeing that totally slayed me.
It’s the little things.
Golf clap.
You forgot posing with the corpse.
Possibly. If he dresses up as a turkey.
Sorry, but does anyone else find it ridiculous that they are putting two turkeys up in a fancy hotel for the night?
I think he was too chicken to do that!
Which hotel? Is Don The Con somehow making a buck off of it?
He’s arranging something with an Air Force helicopter under the impression turkeys can fly as we speak.
Looks like the Willard InterContinental Hotel
I’m actually surprised it’s not Trump’s hotel.
He’ll wonder why everybody cares more about the turkey than they do his amazing tax bill which is the best ever.
He’ll send one of his lackeys to get a turkey for him to pardon straight from its natural habitat, the freezer aisle at Safeway.
He accidentally pardons Eric. No one notices for an hour.