Sooo, How will Trump Fuck Up the Traditional Turkey Pardon?

My money is on naming the turkey Kim Jong Un, and chopping its head off on live TV.


Trump orders execution of five turkeys pardoned by Obama.

When Trump goes about revoking pardons already granted (which are supposed to be irreversible), he only opens the doors to getting Arpaio un-pardoned by the next Prez.

It depends… what color are the turkey’s feathers?

Grab its cloaca!

according Snopes this is fake news… I was telling my daughter today I doubt that trump will pardon any turkeys ,if he does I don’t dare to watch him trump doing this. :eek:

Not quite.

Take a look at the other stories on Real News Right Now.

Pope Francis: God Has Instructed Me to Revise the Ten Commandments

Pope Francis Orders Vatican Archives to Reveal God’s Name Ending Centuries of Secrecy

Roy Moore Says He Can’t Help Fact Chuck E. Cheese Cowboy Hat a ‘Chick Magnet’

Nevada Man Who Survived UFO Abduction Says Aliens Asked Him About Jesus Christ

It’s blindingly obvious it’s all satire.

He’ll expect all of America to thank him personally, and get snippy on Twitter when they don’t.

I never heard’ Real News Right Now’ until now , I realize it was satire after I posted my comment but it was too late to fixed my post. I will check out Real News Right Now’

Well, I read an article years ago that said the turkeys that are pardoned don’t last more than a few months in any case (which is how I was able to use my eagle eyes to spot the satire), so the birds pardoned by Obama have already shuffled off this mortal coil. I wouldn’t put it past Trump to have them dug up and beheaded, however. :stuck_out_tongue:

Don Jr. will shoot the turkey, live on TV, in what the Trumps will think is a brilliant pro-gun, pro-America, pro-Thanksgiving message.

36% of Americans will agree with them. :smack:

Make America Gobble Again!

Trump will tweet about the turkey having amazing breasts.

We should check out those turkeys very carefully - what if one of them is Manafort in a turkey suit…

He’s going to have to go a ways to out-idiot Palin. On live TV, she pardoned a turkey at a turkey farm. While turkeys were slaughtered in the background.

Something tells me that pardons are going to be a big part of his life in 2018. He needs the practice.

Manafort had better hope no one wants turducken.

He’ll tell them about his YUGE electoral win and when they don’t thank him properly, the black ones will be called ungrateful on Friday.

In the event that he does refuse to pardon a turkey, it will mark one of the few times he will have done a good thing.* I personally find the turkey pardoning thing to be frivolous, and a bit infra dig.

*As with every previous instance of him doing a good thing, this one, should it occur, will be an accident. I do not consider the man capable of deliberately deciding to do a good thing.

That is so last century - the cool cooks are making a goose stuffed with a pheasant, then duck then chicken…