SOTU ~ Your unvarnished responses here

[Mundane_Super_Hero]

I put my best reply in the wrong Pit Thread.

It should have gone here.

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@Mundane_Super_Hero

My ‘system’ has been digesting ‘funny’ for a while. It hasn’t been pleasant.
Tonight as Rump was entering the capital, I had regrets.

I should not have had for lunch that home-made burrito of spinach leaves, slices of cheese, and spicy chili re-heated in a microwave and washed down with on sale beer.

I felt a horrible rumbling… and I left the table.

I dropped my jeans, sat on the commode… and then it started. Dear God, I was blasting out like a Starfleet ship at Wolf 359! It was volley after volley after volley and I wasn’t stopping The Dominion at all! After the end of a 1/2 hour, I felt 5 full pounds lighter and proceeded with the necessary endgame cleaning.

When I walked out, I realized that I had missed the whole first half hour of Rump’s speech… a shame.

But… had I? Looking at the TV set… low and behold… Rump had been dropping deuces all over Congress, SCOTUS, the Federal Government, all the State Governments, all the people of America, all of our allies, and ( with the exception of Putin and Kim Jong Fat-Boy) the entire World!

I couldn’t believe that his ass, though extra fat, wide, and flabby… could be so full of crap to have accomplished that task. He was like that monster in that great post WW2 Danish-American monster film… except that he used his ass.

What was the name of that film again? ‘Rectillicus’…?

Anyway, it was at that point that I decided to watch “DareDevil” instead.
Imagine… a Super Hero who is a lawyer and follows the letter of the law? Escapist fantasy sure… but I was safely ducking the spew from the Orange Poop Chute…