Here we go… :dubious:
Upload latest SP. Install changed all personal settings. Change them back. Now mouse won’t work. Get updated driver from mouse manufacturer. Norton needs an update, too, to work with the new op sys. Now op sys is 20% slower, so get more RAM. Motherboard won’t address that much RAM, toss motherboard.
New motherboard, XP says system is bootleg, call MS for new keycode. New keycode installed, Explorer won’t come up. Trace problem to peripheral driver. Manufacturer out of business, no new drivers available. Bought new peripheral, installed. Now keyboard won’t work. Contact MS; known problem with that particular peripheral and hard drive. Download patch. Install patch. Patch changed all personal settings. Change them back. Mouse now runs in reverse and needs to be held upside down, but that’s no biggie.
Found MS occupies 90% of HD space, no space for programs. Bought new, larger HD. Motherboard BIOS not compatible with new HD, download new BIOS & flash. XP says system is now bootleg, call MS for new keycode. New keycode installed, new peripheral needs new driver – the one out of the box was obsolete when shipped. Download, install.
Delete 45GB of unnecessary MS files on HD. Whoops – deleted one that was needed after all. Can’t undelete, must reinstall sys. XP won’t reinstall on top of new SP. Wipe out opsys, reinstall. Install says I need to get updates. Update web page says I already have them, stupid. Download them anyway. Takes 9 hours to download on a fast connection and 3 hours to install.
Now network card disabled. Call tech support; advised to never use IPs with 6’s in them. Change all 6’s to 5’s. Re-address all connected systems. Network driver grabs 120MB more HD space and creates new, strange file names; oh, well…
Cat steps on keyboard. XP says cat is bootleg, get new keycode. New keycode causes sound card to emit high-pitched squeal. Turn off computer, reset card. XP says new sound card is bootleg, get new keycode. Reinstall sound driver. Wrong version; get new one. Now the keyboard plays music and the speakers control the mouse movement.
All personal settings changed. Change them back. Registry now corrupted. MS says need new keycode; get one. Install Norton and do full sytem scan. Norton doesn’t finish. Call Norton; known bug with that particular keyboard, mouse, peripheral, hard drive and motherboard. Affects only users with middle initial “A” who have a Hello Kitty decal on the desk. Download patch. Now mouse doesn’t work and BSOD screen says, “System hopelessly obsolete. Just what were you thinking? Buy a new computer now!”
Toss computer in trash and go sailing. Ahhh… 