Could you guys possibly get some translators that are the least bit into it?! i mean seriously, ive heard hotter talk at one of grandmas recipe swapping parties. Oh also, if you would, when a movie has more than two actors could you please not use the same two people to do every single voice? I had no idea Jenna Jameson and Kobe Tai both sounded exactly like a middle aged bored mexican woman. The guy is even worse, he has one regular voice for the “protagonist” and he just makes funny voices for every other guy. Im sorry but a bored mexican porn star fucking a guy making clown noises is right under monkey torture on my list of turn ons.
Speaking of Mexicans, not every latino living in the US happens to be mexican, some of us don’t know the mexican slang words for the naughty bits (what the fuck is a “panocha” anyways? if i had to live by one rule it would be “when someone tells you to lick something in a foreign language make sure you know what the hell they are talking about first”). I refuse to involve a dictionary or thesaurus in my sex life unless a naughty librarian is also part of the fantasy.
How about subtitles guys? that would be just swell with me.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in The Pit in a good, long while, and I may need to seek out Spanish Playboy just to hear the atrocious voice acting.
This, for example, cracks me right up:
Bozo Goes To Tijuana! Bozo gets Banned from the Monkey Enclosure! Bozo Violates the Mann Act with a Greyhound Bus!
You get Spanish Playboy? How? Do you live in some Spanish-speaking country? 'Cause, see, I’m trying to learn some Spanish, and I’ve got my Pimsleur CDs, and I’ve got some textbooks, and I’m watching the telenovelas sometimes, but I bet I’d do better with something where I can predict the dialogue a little better. Plus, you never know, I might go to Mexico someday and I might really, really need to know what a “panocha” is.
Apropos of nothing, there is a very funny scene in the (otherwise serious) film Jesus of Montreal by Denys Arcand, depicting a couple of middle-aged actors dubbing a porno into French, and really getting into it.
(a) On the issue of lack of variety of voice-actors: Hey, it’s not just porn. In mainstream TV, the dubs for the US “Hispanic” market (Telemundo and Univisión) of American movies and TV also suffer from the phenomenon of “two guys and two gals in a room in LA or Miami play every single possible character”.
(b) “panocha” = hoohah, in SDMBese. VERY Mexican rendition
BTW, a couple of years back, NuTech a startup importer of Hentai (pornographic) Anime decided that their big sales gimmick would be that they would have “real American porn stars” do the voice dubs for US releases. They even went as far as to put credits and pictures of the said performers on the box covers.
Now, let’s pause and think about that a moment.
The young ladies featured in American porn videos have many talents and attributes, but they are most definitely NOT hired based on how they do dialog.
It’s a fortunate thing that, porn being porn, most of the dubs consist of replacing “Japanese” squeaky yelping with “English” groaning moans. Because, oy, it was painful.
The funniest part is that its the same guys who do the regular movie translations on the other spanish channels. I recognized them instantly from Univision or telemundo.
Well good to know! I thought they where talking about some sort of pastry.
One of the funniest hires was Asia Carrera. And the producers worsened the situation by having her voice Asian characters. Carrera’s an attractive and intelligent women and her mother is Japanese. But she was born and raised in the US and speaks with a New Jersey accent.
I don’t have Playboy channel, and in fact I think that the local channels here have it in its original English. They (correctly) figured that nobody watches porn for the Shakespearean wisdom.
However, as my neighbor to the east notes, that is a problem that goes beyond Playboy. There is a particular fellow who voices over, let’s see, Peter Jennings, main character in a saucy Brazilian soap opera, Sir David Attenborough, assorted characters in children TV and many more. It is trully disturbing.
Plus, you never know, I might go to Mexico someday and I might really, really need to know what a “panocha” is.