The SDMB has been joined by one of it’s newest members, sparx. I’d like to welcome him to the board, and to make it known to all my fellow Dopers that he suffers from poor personal hygiene, has frequently been outwitted by a slice of bread, and has been severely beaten about the head with three different kinds of ugly-stick. Nevertheless, despite his numerous faults, I suppose I’d have to call him my friend. 
Please join me in wishing him a warm welcome, and be nice…
Damn that devious man! I’ve just found out that my “soon-to-be-ex-friend” gave me a fake username when I asked him. He was obviously suspecting that I’d do something like this…(What? You mean you don’t trust me?).
So now, not only do I NOT know what my friend’s real username is, there is probably some guy out there who’s REALLY called sparx and who’s scratching his head and wondering which of his friends has insulted him so thoroughly. (Sorry, bud, whoever you really are…)
So let me get this straight
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He can be outwitted by a couple of slices of bread
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He outwitted you
Where does that place you in the hierachy of things??
I’ll get right back to you with a witty and incisive come-back - right after I figure out how to chew and type at the same time…
When you work it out can you let my boss know please? 