A co-worker and very dear friend introduced me to the world of The Straight Dope months ago. She knows me very well, and her relentless sending of message board links brought laughter many times over. The urge to post (particularly in MPSIMS and the BBQ Pit) has been increasingly overwhelming, and I felt it was finally time to acknowledge that resistance is futile and join the masses.
You folks, to put it bluntly and with considerable understatement, and my kinda people.
So if you’ll have another Doper, I’d love to play. And thanks to that special friend for getting me hooked. I think she knew what she was doing from the very beginning.
Well and good for you to seek entrance to these hallowed halls, Master Sparky, but what do you bring to the table as an offering? You can’t very well place your friend on the table, as she has already been sampled and was found to be quite tasty. What’s your contribution?
Do you bring pommegranites, grapes, meat or stout ale? Do you intend to entertain the teeming mllions with juggling, songs, or enthralling tales? Perhaps you are a dancer or bard?
Let us know, so that plots against you can be planned.
(My Bold) Would these be some sort of stone fruit? :dubious: Pssst John Carter of Mars, I think you meant pomegranate.
Master Sparky, welcome, and don’t mind him, he’s harmless. Besides, pomegranates are too hard to eat. Chocolate would please more of us, I think.
We do like good stories. Tell a good story here, and the plotters will turn elsewhere.
:eek: Dammit, I missed out again!!! I was sampled and found to be quite tasty? Oy, I didn’t intend to spend Christmas Eve with my mind in the gutter, but here we go…
Oy, but my dearest friend has tales of captivating quality, JCOM, and my hopes are that he plans to regale us all soon with his wit and humor.
Please us and him, too.
Too late, he’s done been hooked… just like the rest of us poor suckers.
It’s about time you joined us, Sparky… I told you resistance is futile.
::does a little happy dance… :: He joined! He joined! YES!
Welcome to a world inhabited by raconteurs, punsters, geniuses, whackos, brilliant eccentrics, passionate proponents, and, of course, a few dipsticks. In the time I have been here, I have learned all sorts of things. You will too.
I must emphasise that this place is not addictive. We can stop anytime we want. Honest.
[sub]:: picks up phone ::
beep beep bip boop beep bip boop boop beep beep beep ringclick
Have we got the Arrangements ready for this evening?
Uh huh… uh huh…
:: nods ::
Standby, you said? Great! We can rev up the treadmills and fill the vats no problem. There’s enough oil? The livestock is okay? Our calamari order at Logan Square still stands?
Great! After that Tentacle Monster fiasco I thought we’d never be able to show our faces there again. Okay!
Forty two? makes sense…
Right! Thanks! Happy holidays!
Bye! click
:: puts phone down ::
[/sub]
Who’s your friend? We’ll need to know who to thank (or blame, as the case may be.)
Welcome aboard. Make sure you’re up on your Princess Bride, Simpsons, and Star Trek references, and do not wander into Great Debates without an armload of cites.
I think it was the ale. How could we know that after a mere six tankards you would go into short-term memory loss? You were really having a LOT of fun. Sorry you can’t recall it.
:o Me? Mis-spell? Oh, no, picunurse! A pommegranite is a fruit that is much favored at parties on Mars. (See how well I wormed out of that?)
I have no idea what I bring to the fine, upstanding, established members of the Dope community, although it looks like tankards of ale isn’t a bad idea.
Thanks for the welcome, everyone! And now, I shall partake in finishing off the cookies that my kid left for “Santa,” followed by a healthy swig of eggnog and Crown Royal.
