I have the same problem, I’m just leery of using “allergic” cause some people get all pissy if you don’t carry around a signed, sealed Doctor’s Note that says “This Person Is Allergic.” Regardless, when I’d sit outside with my smoker friends/colleagues at work, within 10 minutes my throat would be scratching and my eyes watering, then I’d start coughing, etc.
Now if someone wants to start a crusade against Guys Who Don’t Bathe, I’ll get behind that 100%
I hear ya about getting :rolleyes: as a reaction when you say allergic. Unfortunately I am also allergic to most perfumes so I stay out of department stores and have to be very careful about what lotions and deodorants and soaps and cleaners I buy. But I can’t avoid it everywhere. There’s no “scented vs unscented” seating in restaurants. I often just have to leave. Can’t ask someone to turn off their cologne!
It has been my experience that SMOKERS are some of the nicest,sweetest,
most fun loving,helpful and forgiving people you could ever hope to find…
vs
(most) Non-smokers who are arrogant,self-centered,rude,spiteful and just downright mean…
hmmmm, wonder what’s up with that???
I propose a study…
Probably has a lot to do with how you approach them in the first place.
You’re banding together with your tribe against a perceived class of “oppressors” and vilifying your opponents. It’s human nature, unfortunately, that’s up with that.
Honestly, I have no real problem with smokers unless they are around small children, mine in particular. I will avoid areas where I know smokers hang out when I have my daughter with me and I’m not in anyone’s face about their decision to smoke but come on… smoking on the park bench about two to five feet away from the kids annoys me. There is an aura of smoke that surrounds a smoker and I don’t like having my choice and my daughter’s choice not to smoke taken away.
I have the right to breathe smokeless air and so does my child. It is their right to smoke. That stated, when a smoker lights up, they cannot control where the smoke may go and they are tainting my air. That’s when I have a problem but even so, I never attack anyone for it. I just leave or go to another area that is smokeless. It’s my right and I won’t change my opinion. I just wish some smokers were more aware of such things and more polite about it. SOME go out of their way to not taint the air of a small area and wait until they are alone to light up but some do not. My father never cared and lit up whenever he felt the need (chain smoker if there EVER was one), and my brother and I got headaches from the smoke. I still get them and I avoid bars because of it. Not a huge sacrifice and very easy to make. In public, in places where I can’t avoid it, my right is not really mine anymore and yet, the smoker gets to keep lighting up. I don’t see the equality.
Really?
Have you had any friend or relative got nasty vicious disorders from second-hand smoking? From the looks of it, clearly not.
Have you ever noticed the smell of smoke fills up any enclosed space? I will not depend my life on cigarette smoke that recognises a non-smoking section and doesn’t drift over.
You’ll get arrested for vandalism. Serves you right, too.
Smoking is not a right.
Personal freedom then…
BUT so is my choice NOT to smoke and it’s shoved aside when someone lights up near me. Smoke doesn’t respect boundaries and smoking near kids is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Sometimes I wonder if non-smokers also post at STO*RMFRONT
Just do like I do, stick to non-smoking sections. When I go swimming I stay in the non-peeing part of the pool.
So last night after lecture, I went to the front of the class to ask the professor a few questions. I had my note book on her desk and I was flipping through for some terminology and nomenclature while she addressed another student.
As I was skimming my notes, I was whacked on the back of my head. When I turned to see WTF happened, I noticed it was the Non-Smoker swinging her backpack on her back.
My initial response was to say, Oh, excuse me, even though it was clearly not my fault.
Her back was to me. No response.
I said a bit louder, I’m sorry… I wanted to move around to talk to her face to face, but she is an over-weight girl and those desks are bunched rather close together.
Then she turned and gave me a dirty look. My jaw dropped a bit and I was wondering if it was intentional. Then she turns to me and proceeds down the isle as if I’m not even there, and I’m nudged/shoved out of her way without any acknowledgement. I was a bit shocked and I looked at the professor who also seems surprised by this display.
What was that about? she asked. All I could do was shrug.
Ha, ha. I LOVE it. Then you could put their self-righteous arguments right back in their face. “You don’t like roach spray? Hey, nobody tied you up and forced you to come in here. Why do you want to infringe on my ‘right’ to spray roach spray?”
Let’s see…the only 2 times in my life I have ever asked anyone to put out their cigarette (both time were at a GAS STATION), they rudely refused. I take it you were making a joke?
Oops, I forgot - there was a third time. I was on a train, and a man was sitting directly below the non-smoking sign. I asked him not to smoke, and he refused to comply.
Good christ. You do such a disservice to smokers with Nazi comparisons. Yea, being asked not to smoke is the same as being starved, worked almost to death, then shoved into a gas chamber.
to alpha female, i certainly try to avoid confrontation, especially over what might be accidental slights, but i don’t see how you can ignore being smacked by a backpack then shoved out of the way. you could try a direct route, like telling her “i’m tired of your bs, and if it doesn’t stop there will be consequences,” or you could try a more sisterly approach, like “i know you have a problem with me, but we need to find a way to get along while we’re in this class,” or you could be sneaky, like walking down the aisle and “accidentally” dropping a cup of hot coffee in her lap (then apologizing profusely, of course), or you might think of a nickname (unappealing) with which you loudly greet her every time you see her (“how you doin’, lardass?”). inquire in a sincere tone in front of her friends about her alleged medical problems (“got that clap cleared up yet?”). maybe she’ll decide it’s smarter to stay away from you. but as with so many of these things, you should document her conduct when it happens and report it to some appropriate authority. a dean or somebody might be able to set her straight, and if she ever complains about you at least your side is already on the record.
It sounds like the Large Girl in question has problems. Are you attractive enough that she could be jealous of you? Perhaps she has stereotyped you as being in a snooty sorority or something?
I heavily disagree with Reader99 on threatening her with consequences. What are you going to do, beat her up? report her to the school? “Yes Dean, she talked mean about me and gave me dirty looks.” And scalding her is probably not a real smart idea.
If this is a small school and you expect to have Large Girl in your class again, the Sisterly approach is a good idea. Perhaps invite her to dinner so that she can gt to know you in a neutral setting (refrain from smoking at this time.) It sounds really weenie, but if you put effort into it, it does occasionally work. We helped my daughter calm a battle like this with a boy. Sure, they were only 5, but Large Girl is acting like she is 5… The only bad part about it is you don’t get the satisfying feeling of revenge, even if it works.
But most likely, the best, easiest thing to do is just be the better person, ignore her, and smile brightly every time she goes by, and wait for next semester. Once again though, no good feeling of satisfaction.
Boy, giving unsolicited advice is fun!
to clarify my earlier post: i agree that the “sisterly” approach is probably the most mature and sensible way to deal with this problem. mentioning unspecified “consequences” is a way of encouraging a subject to imagine a worse fate than you would ever actually impose ("…hmm, people DO disappear, don’t they…?"). it can be especially effective with the cowardly bully type, who generally likes to pick on people who won’t fight back. (as to the coffee, it might be tricky to really make it look like an accident.)
but hitting someone in the head with a heavy object and shoving them goes beyond dirty looks. you might not make a charge of assault and battery stick, but you probably have grounds to file a formal complaint. let this classmate explain herself to the cops. if you just want to keep it on the campus, many schools have various kinds of student-run honor courts to deal with disputes among students, and that’s an option that might be available. in a number of well-publicized cases, students have been severely disciplined for nothing more than offensive speech. i still say document everything and talk to someone in authority, so you won’t have to be on the defensive if the woman ever tries to complain about you (and you really don’t know what this flake might do, do you?).