Spoilers!

The BBQ Pit
21

This is the absolute height of assholism when it comes to spoiling. These fucktards, who evidently got hold of the book long enough before the thing went on sale to read it and go out riding around bookstores throughout their city with a megaphone spoiling everything for those waiting in line outside of said stores until midnight and let fly the spoilers and what page numbers they would be found on.

Do not visit the following link if you are avoiding spoilers, but if you want to witness the apotheosis of choking on dick, ass-hattery, and have already read it, or are otherwise indifferent to the whole series then feel free to witness the perfect example of why there is a pit in the first place!

http://break.c0m/index/harry-potter-spoiled.html (for your further protection, you’ll need to replace the zero in the “c0m” with an ‘o’ before you can visit the site. THIS WILL SPOIL THE FINAL HARRY POTTER BOOK!

Why would anyone be amused by this?

22

Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy with spoilers. There was a very entertaining Cafe thread awhile ago dealing with unexpected deaths during a movie or sitcom. The subject itself screamed of spoilers but it was just too damn good to stop reading. Well, lo and behold suddenly someone adds this to the thread:

Two main characters die in the movie Serenity(Whedon related)

Damn I thought. I just finished watching the series and haven’t gotten the movie yet. Oh well, that was my fault. I wandered into this thread and that guy had a good contribution.

A contribution I just wished I didn’t read.

23

That exact same thread bit me on the ass too. :smack:

regards;

sinjin

24

I started to read the HP books last year, all borrowed from my friend’s 11-year-old daughter. As she handed me one of them (can’t remember, 5 or 6), she gets this evil grin on her face. “You won’t believe how this ends,” she starts, and I can tell she’s near to peeing herself with the wanting to spoil.

I shut her down immediately, and started a long speech on how it’s rude to spoil, etc. She kept interrupting me, with “yeah, but…”.

I finally had to threaten her with never speaking to her again. An 11-year-old. I think the desire to spoil is just ingrained in some people. Like the desire to tell bad news: “you’ll never guess who died/got arrested/was eaten by bunnies.”

25

No no no, Ginny is Johnny Sack’s wife. He became boss of the DiMeo family after Tony got’s shot and never comes out of the coma.

26

Rosebud is… people!

Sorry, should have spoilered that.

27

Spoilers!Not really

28

I am following the movies, not the books (yeah, I know, what can I say?). By the time the movie comes out and with my memory, there is no way anyone can spoil it for me.

But yes, darned be spoilers. I try to avoid even the previews to a movie I want to see.

While I was living in Montreal, we used to watch the Formula One at noon at the Peel Pub. About four hours after the race was run. Those were nervous hours trying to avoid hearing the results of the race.

29

I was actually a theoretical victim of particularly obnoxious spoiling on the fucking HP book.

I was out shopping on Saturday, taking advantage of my husband being out of town having a Boy’s Night Out Dork Outing (he went to go participate in a vintage-format Magic the Gathering tournament with some buddies). As I was making my rounds of shopping for a staggering variety of random objects (because shopping with my husband in tow is truly miserable, so I put it off until he’s otherwise occupied), I picked up a copy of the new Harry Potter book for him, as a surprise. I knew he wanted to read it, and I didn’t give a red rat’s ass,* but I picked him up a copy while I was out and about (plus then I had an excuse to go to the bookstore and browse - mmmmmm, book store browsing).

As I was standing in line with my little green handbasket o’books, Harry Potter book on top, where I’d dumped it on my way past the Really Big Display, the guy standing behind me poked me in the back, and when I turned around started spouting off plot points at me. It was actually sort of impressive - he was rattling them off like an auctioneer on speed, complete with explanatory hand gestures, obviously determined to get it all out before I shushed him.

I let him wind all the way down, giving him wide, startled eyes, until he was out of breath and out of spoilers, standing there with a smug look on his face.

Then I took off my headphones and watched his face crumple and fall. I’d heard about one in every five words - enough to tell what he was talking about, but not enough to get any real understanding about what he said.

I had time to say “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that” and then it was my turn for checkout.

All in all, it was sort of a beautiful moment for me. I don’t really care what happened in the book, but I despise deliberate spoilermongers.
*I’ll probably read it at some point, since I read the first ones and I’m a completionist, but I don’t particularly care what happens to who. Or who happens to what, for that matter.

30

If there is such a thing as Karma, I can only hope that book & movie Spoiler-Asshats, if either they or their SO ever gets pregnant* and have the temerity to not want to know the sex of their child prior to birth, I So hope the receptionist blurts out to them,
“So, guess you’ll be painting the nursery Pink/Blue, huh???” as they’re settling up their co-payments…
(*Assumes any of these shits ever gets laid with a living human being, which to date are facts not in evidence. If Doc John toys could speak, theirs would be begging,
“Kill me now! Please, Og, I’m in Hell! Kill me! Please…!”)

31

If that’s a serious question, the answer is because it’s amusing. It’s funny to see somebody get their hopes up and then be disappointed. It’s mean, but it’s funny.

32

I know I’m going to hell for saying so, but the part at the end with the HP fan chasing after the car had me in stitches. And the stupefied girl with the hilariously poorly-constructed beak? That shit is comedy gold.

Yes, it was wrong of them to do that. Yeah, they’re assholes.

Doesn’t mean I didn’t laugh my ass off. People can be dickheads and still be funny at the same time.

33

I had heard that a lot of the spoilers of the book were wrong, so I warned my daughter, (now about two chapters from the end) that a lot of the stuff she read about spoilers was wrong, and to ignore it.

Imagine my shock when she said later, “Mom, I’m so glad you told me! This guy online said (this and that and the other), and I know chances are it’s not true!”

Problem is, the guy had nailed it, so all I could do was agree and say, “Just keep reading.”

I think some people just have an overwhelming need to be a dick. Whether is satisfies some sick need to feel superior, or if it’s a sign of sadism, they’re out there and you have to look out for them. It’s part of the reason I was not able to linger over the book…I feared the longer I wallowed, the greater the chance I’d be spoiled.

34

Of course, because the birth of an actual human is completely equivalent to spoilers about fictional teenagers in a children’s book.

35

Hmm. They don’t bother me at all - I’m not a big enough jerk to go out of my way to spoil things for people, but I can’t think of a single instance where knowing the ending would have made a whit of difference to me (maybe Usual Suspects).

I guess I can agree that it’s rude but it’s not the kind of thing that I worry about, and so I could easily slip and spoil it for someone.

Sorry (just in case)

36

I agree with you completely.

Many years ago, Time Magazine wrote an article about Agatha Christie. And sure enough, the author wrote something like: “…and in her most famous book (name deleted by Plynck), the reader discovers that (serious plot twist deleted by Plynck).”* I had only read the book a few years before, but I was outraged that new readers would have had the story ruined for them.

I wrote a letter of complaint to Time, and received a reply that they did not consider it spoiling when the book was over fifty years old. This despite the fact that the article referenced how many books she still sold every year to new readers.

And then, when Dame Agatha died, they did it again. :rolleyes: I have not bought Time Magazine since.

*And yet Agatha Christie fans will know exactly which book I mean.

37

As someone who needs to fight the tendency to spoil things for others, I can say that at least in my case, it’s not an overwhelming need to be a dick, I don’t need to feel superior, and I am not a sadist. If I want to spoil something for you, most likely I like you, or I want you to like me. I’m brimming with enthusiasm, and desperately need to talk to someone about something so incredibly important to me.

It’s not jerkishness, it’s actually a terrible burden. Won’t you please help? Send your donations to:

The Varnish is his Wife’s Blood! That’s So Totally Cool! Relief Fund
1866 Luke’s Father Way
Boca Raton, FL, 34036

38

Sorry, but I find this hilarious.

It was half a century, man!

Next thing you know, people will start telling me that someone committed suicide in Anna Karenina!

39

The gender of a baby is not actually “the birth of an actual human being.” Nice to see your consistency in misconstruing what is said before responding to it.

40

I don’t really get the big deal about spoilers.

If I’m only reading something to find out what happens in the end, I’d rather have spoilers, since they’re faster and easier to read. Generally, if that’s the only thing a book has going for it, it’s not worth reading anyway.

If that’s not the only reason I’m reading it, like if the author writes very compellingly, or something, then it doesn’t really matter if I know how it ends or not.