Sports for the uncoordinated?

[Furious_Marmot]

@Sanity_Challenged

Have you tried paintball? The fact that the projectiles have more in common aerodynamically with water balloons than bullets or darts serves as a pretty good equalizer between a natural crack-shot and the average shooter. Shooting on the run can take some practice for the uncoordinated, but can be learned.

I’d have never made it on to my high school basketball team and was easily the least impressive skateboarder in my circle of friends, but for a few years I managed to become a valuable contributor on a tournament paintball team, where tactics and coordinated teamwork are trump.

I have played paintball a few times. In fact, it was the best answer I had to this question back in college. Screwing around in the woods while playing projectile hide and seek sounds like fun. I still have my VM-68. My problem is twofold:

1. Access is a mess. Professionally run, well trafficked fields are few and far between, especially outside of big metro areas. In Long Island, or Florida, or suburban California, its easy to find a place to play, but here, not so much. Every field I’ve ever been to is just a shooting gallery for some good old boys who are friends with the owner. Which leads to the other problem.

2. Poor sportsmaship. Paintball seems to attract lots cheating, whining, hypercompetitive, man-child jock stereotypes. I have winessed 2 brawls between men who were old enough to know better, which started with fists and ended with paintguns being discharged in a crowded staging area and the cops getting called. Both fights were set off by trash talk that would be considered mild on a baseball field. I’ve never played without witnessing flagrant cheating, from wiping, to late shots, to refs ‘hooking up’ their buddies. It’s just a game, who cares? While the sport has an admirably low injury rate (on par with bowling, I think), it’s only because of sane behavior and respect for safety. I don’t want to risk permanent loss of sight because some jack-off ramped up his velocity after he chronoed in.

It probably has a lot to do with the poorly run places I’ve played.

[Furious_Marmot]

@dalej42

The question is a bit vague, but if it is practical, how about hiking? It is a fascinating activity, but allows you to set your own goals. If you know you can’t make it all the way to the top of the mountain, then you can try to make it to a particular height. You can stop and take breaks at any convenient area. You can take as little or as much time as you want. You can go solo or with friends.

In my opinion, the perfect outdoor activity.

Hiking is fun, but there it would require a multi-hour car drive, which makes it more of a vacation thing than an after work thing.

[Furious_Marmot]

@Reply

Excuses, excuses. Not born a natural NBA star? Fine. So uncoordinated as to be unable to do anything on that list? Well, do it anyway! You’ll get better over time and your general coordination and dexterity will improve, opening up more and more sports as you go. Unless you’re disabled, less whine, more practice!

Some people do not improve at some things, no matter how much they practice. An hour of playing one or another team sport in gym class every day for 12 school years. No kidding, I could never execute a single basic skill of any of them.

[Furious_Marmot]

@gotpasswords

What is “crew?”

As for a sport that can be done by people with scarcely any coordination or skill, how about bowling with a ramp and bumpers?

If you can lift the ball onto the ramp and let it go, you’re guaranteed to hit at least one pin.

After 2 seasons, I was asked not to sign up again on a casual bowling team. Real bad.
Not sure if they let adults use the bumpers, but it doesn’t seem like much in the way of physical activity.

[Omniscient]

@Reply

(Non-sarcastically) Do people even sweat while playing golf? I always thought it was a “sport” in the sense that target shooting is a sport, meaning it’s competitive but not physically demanding. Am I wrong?

You’ll sweat if it’s hot out, which it is in most places in the US for 3 months a year. That said, golf can be surprisingly demanding. First of all, if you walk and carry your bag on my favorite course you are covering 6727 yards (6.2 km or 3.8 mi) at minimum. Probably close to double that when you factor in the distance between tees and greens and the zig-zagging and back-tracking most duffers do in the course of a round. Depending on your physical condition, walking upwards of 5 miles with or without a 25 pound bag of clubs on your bag can be a pretty solid workout. Additionally the swinging a golf club is a very demanding activity for most people. It uses essentially every muscle in your body, including several that get rare use normally, and will leave most people reasonably sore the following day. It’s not MMA but it’s a hell of a lot more demanding than target sports and parlor games.

[Omniscient]

@Furious_Marmot

Some people do not improve at some things, no matter how much they practice. An hour of playing one or another team sport in gym class every day for 12 school years. No kidding, I could never execute a single basic skill of any of them.

You sound like you are looking for any excuse to sit on the couch. Just go out and do it and have a laugh, whatever the sport. If you make that metaphoric basket finally it’ll be all the more satisfying.

No risk, no reward. Period.

[Furious_Marmot]

@Omniscient

You sound like you are looking for any excuse to sit on the couch. Just go out and do it and have a laugh, whatever the sport. If you make that metaphoric basket finally it’ll be all the more satisfying.

No risk, no reward. Period.

If I wanted to sit on my lazy ass instead of attempting to improve myself, I assure you I wouldn’t waste anyone’s time with tedious questions. I can make excuses without public input. Now that the weather is nice, I’m looking for something more engaging than stationary bicycling indoors. It’s difficult to have a laugh while failing constantly and pissing off those around you who think you’re doing it purposely.

Also, golf is out. Can’t putt, can’t drive. Running too, doctor says no.

[Lamar_Mundane]

Geocaching

Orienteering

[Czarcasm]

Moving thread from IMHO to The Game Room.

[RickJay]

@Furious_Marmot

Too much coordination, have been injured while attempting: Jump rope, bicycling, swimming.

Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but if you are so uncoordinated that you can’t SWIM withut somehow injuring yourself, maybe you need to see a doctor just to ensure there isn’t anything wrong with you. Water is pretty hard to bump yourself against.

[Reply]

@Furious_Marmot

Some people do not improve at some things, no matter how much they practice. An hour of playing one or another team sport in gym class every day for 12 school years. No kidding, I could never execute a single basic skill of any of them.

I know what you mean; it was exactly the same for me. I learned the hard way that sometimes competing with yourself is the only practical solution, at least at first. Measure against your own progress, not that of others.

Of the things I listed, rock climbing and DDR in particular provide very concrete scales of advancement: You can visibly measure improvement over a time period of mere weeks and months, not years, and you also don’t have to worry about fucking it up for your teammates. Take DDR: I started out unable to finish a single song on beginner mode; after a few months’ of dedicated effort, I was drawing crowds. The point is to not let yourself make excuses and to keep going. Your attitude will make or break this experience.

I’m still no good at half the things I love doing, much less traditional team sports, but I’ve kept at 'em nonetheless. I still usually end up last. BFD. At least I’m getting somewhat better each time and enjoying myself in the meantime.

‘Not an exercise’ meaning a sport or a physical activity usually done for recreation as opposed to usually solely physical fitness.

Anything can be fun if you let it be or if you just modify it a bit. It’s mental.

Don’t like your stationary indoor bike? Try spinning at a gym with good music, other people, and a good coach. Try road biking along beautiful stretches of road. Try mountain biking. Yes, injury is and always will be a possibility, but that’s a reason to be more careful, not to quit outright.

If running laps around the track is boring, how about adding some interval training? Skipping? Moving dynamic stretches like the kind you see footballers use before games? Jogging outdoors, maybe with a local running club or people from Meetup/Craigslist? Hell, there’s a guy here who runs scenic mountain and beach routes backward for the heck of it.

Aerobics are boring? How about group glasses at the gym, which are often fast-paced, set to music, and very, very energetic? Yoga in hot steamy places with beautiful women? Basic dances, maybe line dancing while drunk?

MAKE it fun!

[Furious_Marmot]

@RickJay

Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but if you are so uncoordinated that you can’t SWIM withut somehow injuring yourself, maybe you need to see a doctor just to ensure there isn’t anything wrong with you. Water is pretty hard to bump yourself against.

I couldn’t get the hang of the breathing. Wound up inhaling quite a bit of water several times, before fianlly giving up.

[Reply]

@Furious_Marmot

I couldn’t get the hang of the breathing. Wound up inhaling quite a bit of water several times, before fianlly giving up.

This is a natural part of learning how to swim. Did you try learning on your own or was someone coaching you? There are ways of making this process easier, such as using kickboards, walking back and forth through the shallow end and breathing that way while emulating strokes, grabbing a wall and practicing your kicks and your breathing… or hell, using a snorkel.

[Furious_Marmot]

@Reply

This is a natural part of learning how to swim. Did you try learning on your own or was someone coaching you? There are ways of making this process easier, such as using kickboards, walking back and forth through the shallow end and breathing that way while emulating strokes, grabbing a wall and practicing your kicks and your breathing… or hell, using a snorkel.

All of that. None of it mattered. Once I tried swimming properly, it was a complete spaz-out. Nearly puked, thought I was going to drown, and for a couple of days afterwards breathing felt odd.
Funny you should mention snorkels. I tried to learn to swim because of a near-drowing during an ill-advised attempt to snorkel on vacation.

[Sage_Rat]

Pool (billiards) is pretty much just a question of “more left?” vs “more right?” in terms of coordination. Most of the game, once you’re good enough, is solving a traveling salesman problem in your head.

True, it’s not a lot of exercise to play, but you are on your feet and moving around at least.

[Snarky_Kong]

Competitive eating.

[RickJay]

@Furious_Marmot

All of that. None of it mattered. Once I tried swimming properly, it was a complete spaz-out. Nearly puked, thought I was going to drown, and for a couple of days afterwards breathing felt odd.
Funny you should mention snorkels. I tried to learn to swim because of a near-drowing during an ill-advised attempt to snorkel on vacation.

I maintain you should see a doctor. Seriously, human beings aren’t supposed to be so uncoordinated that they forget you can’t breathe water. If you’re being serious about all this - I’ve certainly never seen or heard of anyone so uncoordinated who did not have a medical problem - then perhaps you have an inner ear issue or some such thing.

I’d certainly ask a physician, anyway.

[Eats_Crayons]

@Furious_Marmot

I couldn’t get the hang of the breathing. Wound up inhaling quite a bit of water several times, before fianlly giving up.

You might try aquafit classes, it looks super-fun. You stand in the shallow end while a coach takes you do “areobics” while you’re up to your chest in water. I’ve wanted to try it because it looks so fun. No actual swimming required. Otherwise, I’d try a martial art like Tai Chi, which is slow, you learn at your own pace and your balance and coordination improves as you go along. There are no teammates to let down, and as your fitness and coordination improve you can move on to sports that require the same kind of balance and control, such as rock climbing.

[Quartz]

How about refereeing a game of kids’ football? You’ll get plenty of exercise there and no coordination is required.

[lavenderviolet]

Have you ever had the chance to try out some of the Wii games? I think some of the activity based video games like DDR or Wii Sports would be good for you. Even elderly people in nursing homes can do workouts with the Wii.
With DDR, you can adjust the difficulty level to your abilities. You can start off really simple (even disabling the harder parts like jump moves) and work up to something that really is a pretty good aerobic workout. You sound like you would be self-conscious in a public workout class, so being able to exercise in your own home would probably suit you better.