Missed the edit time limit:
I have a younger cousin who has never wanted kids; his wife ended up divorcing him over it a few years ago because she changed her mind about not wanting kids, and he wouldn’t budge. He recently got a vasectomy, and from what I heard second-hand (we’re not very close), several urologists refused to do it due to his age and having no kids.
I wonder what state you were in. I was 25 or so in Wisconsin and the dr. first said he wouldn’t do it (I was single and had no kids). I said I really needed to get off birth control pills and absolutely did not want kids. He said If I still felt that way in 6 months come back and he’d do it. And he did. Nobody at the hospital gave me any crap except that I had to sign about 10 pieces of paper saying yes, I know it’s permanent, yes, I really mean it, yes, yes. This was in about 1971.
I’m glad that you had that experience (mostly; I’m not glad you had a 6 month wait, but I’m glad you were able to get it done.) You are literally the first woman I’ve ever heard who was able to get a sterilization in that time period at that age. Kudos to that doctor!
And just in case there are any “you’ll change your mind” believers out there, I am 70 now and have not regretted my decision for a single moment.
I’ll never understand why so many people have so much interest in other people’s reproduction. It’s not like we’re going to run out of people any time soon.
I’ve never regretted mine, either, or suddenly wanted kids.
I got my wings clipped (love that metaphor) when I was 30, single and no kids. I was extremely lucky - got a doctor who would do it the first try without any hassle.
At least you won’t get pregnant that way. 
If you are a woman and want your tubes snipped at this point in time, just outright tell the doctors that if you ever want to reproduce in the future, as long as you have your ovaries, uterus and vagina, all you need is to go through the IVF shuffle of injections, egg collections and implantation so the fallopian tubes are not required so his argument is of no importance.
I gt mine tied in my early 20s back in 1984 after 2 very disasterous and deadly pregnancies - a third one would have put my life at risk. We discussed it, and decided it was better than going on the pill or a barrier method and risking getting pregnant again. The hospital didn’t give him any lip about it but not every woman is at risk of dying from being pregnant.
Thanks for all the responses!
One more for the list. I got snipped after my third kid was born in the mid 2000’s, when I was about 30. He delivered that child, and verbally confirmed with my wife that I had her blessing to get a vasectomy. He stated afterwards he wouldn’t have done it without her blessing.
In this case, it was my doctor’s personal policy, not the hospitals or health board. From what a friend has told me, he didn’t have a huge problem as a single guy in his late 30’s finding a doctor to do it. A female friend had many problems finding one, so there is clearly a double standard in play.
Maybe. These are two anecdotes.
At the nearby major military installations, they refuse to do any kind of sterilization procedure if you’re under 25 (even if you have kids) and they will drag their feet if you’re under 30 and have less than two kids (and they’ll side-eye you if those two are not a boy and a girl). Regardless, you have to attend classes prior to the procedure, and there’s a several-month cooling off period before the surgery. TRICARE doesn’t have hard and fast rules, but whether they’re permitted to be sterilized is up to the doctor/physician’s assistant.
I tried getting my tubes tied for years and was turned away- multiple doctors, multiple states. “Luckily” (not really) my former husband had a genetic disorder and two kids, so we were able to get him snipped. I had to be at the pre-surgery appointment to talk to the doc and repeat that I knew I wasn’t going to have babies, but he was ok with going forward. I actually assisted with the surgery.
My mother had her tubes tied right after my brother was born-- that is, immediately after. Within minutes. It was very common in the 1970s for a woman to have a second child, and have her tubes tied while still in the hospital; she signed the consent form when she was signing all the other consent forms for the emergency c-section, etc.
However, from about 1968-78, the Zero Population Growth movement was very strong, and it was considered normal, and a little noble to want exactly two children. No doctor ever questioned it.
Moving into the 80s, we started to get the barest bud of the Christian movement that would elect Reagan and eventually become the crazy “quiverful” types we now have, and I’m not even sure if the Zero Pop Growth movement even still exists.
My point is, you may get more liberal stories from the 70s than you get from the 80s and 90s.
My story is similar to Gus Gusterson’s
When I got vasectomized 20+ years ago, the doctor required written spousal permission from my wife, 3 separate counseling sessions for both of us before the procedure and then said the only reason he was agreeing to do it before I was 26 was because my wife was pregnant with our second child at the time.
are there any doctors on this board who can chime in as to why all the fuss?
seems to me that it should be a fairly straightforward discussion:
patient: i would like a vasectomy
doctor: ( after a description of the procedure, including what could possibly go wrong, side effects, if any, and the short and long term physical and mental consequences of the procedure) do you understand what ive told you and do you still want it?
patient: yes. will you do it?
doctor: (answers yes or no, based on her evaluation of whether she thinks its advisable or not based on her assessment of the patient.
end of discussion.
if you think the patient doesnt grasp the long term implications of the procedure then say “no”
whats with all the forms, and questions and waiting periods?
it seems to me a straightforward request. just say yes or no and be done with it!
mc
blink, blink, blink :eek:
CYA. Physicians have been sued, sometimes (though not real often) successfully, over these sorts of issues. “Yes, I know I went to the doctor to ask for this, and said I wanted it. But now I regret it, and if he’d told me I might regret it, then maybe I would not have had it.”
And it involves fertility, which has a special place in culture/society/relationships, with a lot of emotional overlay, dreams, regrets, what ifs, and so forth. I used to do birth control, routine obstetrical deliveries AND vasectomies, and there were lots of strong feelings involved with all those areas.
And it’s part of defensive medicine, especially since it’s an elective procedure, which means there’s no real necessity to do it in the majority of cases.
so why all the games then? just say no!
mc
Well, I guess that depends on what you mean by “real necessity.” No, the process of having a baby wasn’t going to kill me. Having a child against my will might have. And having someone else take total control of my body makes me a little nuts.
I’m sorry, QTM, if it felt like I jumped down your throat, and I apologize for hijacking this thread.
I recognize that a big part of doctoring is making sure the patient is mentally and emotionally prepared for what comes after the procedure, especially in an area that has so much potential for regret.
But, in the stories above, and from people I know, I get the impression that the medical establishment is not very comfortable with these procedures, but are willing to do them if they can get a nice tidy liability shield up.
Maybe I’m just a cynical old man, and am reading too much into things.
(goes back to window, resumes fist shaking)
mc
I wasn’t asked to sign anything when my husband had his done, but I was in the pre-op waiting area with him so the hospital staff knew very well that I was aware of it.
Of course, he also had another structural issue there repaired at the same time, one that the urologist had told him 6-7 years before would need to wait until we’d had all our kids (as it might have led to sterility), so the doctor knew this had been in the works for some years.
Does insurance usually pay for these procedures? In our case it did because it was done at the same time as the other surgery (and general anesthesia was also offered for the same reason).