Spring cleaning tips for the housework impaired

If your vacuum isn’t picking up much, check the bag. Apparently the machine doesn’t work as well when the bag is full to the bursting. :smack:

You can clean windows. I know! I was amazed too!

(“Housework impaired” - I like that!)

I found the most amazing way to delete housework forever! Ain’t this just the greatest idea evah!


  1. Open a new file in your PC.
  2. Name it “Housework.”
  3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.
  4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN.
  5. Your PC will ask you, “Are you sure you want to delete housework permanently?”
  6. Answer calmly, “Yes,” and press the mouse button firmly…
  7. All done. Feel better?

That’s just crazy talk.

Your house can look much cleaner quite quickly if you just take all the stuff cluttering it up, put it into the unused bedroom and keep the door shut. :smiley:

Clean windows?!

But that’s dangerous, innit? Won’t that let all those harmful UVA and UVB rays right inside to give us skin cancer?

You clean whatever you want to, missy. I love my family and am going to keep doing everything possible to protect them!

I think I’ve finally found my people. {sniff}

I TRIED that. But then the furnace guys came and to clean out the vents, and they saw that room. The electrician had to get to the panel, and it was in… that room. I needed something urgently, and it was buried in that… room. Even the dog expressed her feelings by having a wee… in that room.

My burst of spring cleaning this year has involved:

The back bedroom (four or five bags of garbage, and a huge box o’ garbage!) cleaned out a bit.

I cleaned out my car, wiped it down inside, and vacuumed it.

I tried to wash my pillows, but that just upset the washing machine greatly and caused me to have to throw away the pillows.

Now it’s all cold and rainy and it doesn’t feel like spring any more, and the spring cleaning urge has, thankfully, faded for now.

My solution is that I’m right about to move, and I’m losing my deposit because I painted anyway! I don’t want to be a jerk to the landlord, but our lease is waaay over and we’re still paying our last months rent and giving 30 days. That makes up for it right?

You know, I can remember a time when I could accomplish that with just a reasonably-sized closet. For some reason, my neighbor thinks its odd that I vacuum the carpets with a 2.5 horsepower shop vac. Anything it can suck up off the floor is now officially trash, but I have to wear ear protection when I’m cleaning.

Failsafe tips for spring cleaning:

  1. Walk to ATM machine and withdraw $350
  2. Walk to local ‘Hire an Angel’ business and give them $300
  3. Walk home and sit on back verandah with a cheeky little Cabernet
  4. Walk inside and see floors and cupboards wiped down, carpets vacuumed, sparkly windows, tidy drawers, organised walk in robe, mirrors you can see into, brushed pets, scrubbed steps, watered houseplants, tidy panty and refrigerator, ironing done, bathroom cleaned, car washed and vacuumed
  5. Take remaining $25 (you spent $25 on Cabernet remember?) and order Chinese takeaway because in a house as clean as this, you don’t want to dirty the dishes now, do you?
  6. Works equally well with brother/sister that owes you money but you need to give them a list of chores and stand in the corner with a whip.

OK, but seriously (yeah, I know we aren’t being serious here, oh well)–run down to the auto shop and get one of those windshield cleaning things like they have at gas stations. Its a stick with handle on one end. The other end is a spongy thing with a squeegee on the other side. A bucket of water and vinegar, and you can clean outside windows really fast. You know, if you wanted to.

I like the way you think. I’ve struggled to convince girlfriend that getting a cleaning lady is the smart thing - she claims she doesn’t want said cleaning lady ‘moving things’. When cleaning lady vacuumed and we found out the bedroom carpet was a whole other color, it changed her tune.

Oh! Of course I mean a tidy pantRy. But if they’re prepared to give me a wax as part of the service - so much the better!

Vacuum? I suppose I have one somewhere

My new one has a little gage that tells me when the bag is full - it gets red. Its like my gas tank. I’m not exactly sure why this feature isn’t on all vaccuums, because I know on my old vaccuum I used FAR fewer bags - I suspect because I just forgot to change them for months and months.

Nag nag nag.

It’s all part of a conspiracy by the vacuum-cleaner-bag manufacturers.

GomiBoy, the only thing keeping me from having a housecleaner right now is that we can’t afford it. Once we have the money, look out! Some of us are born to clean, and some of us are born to wear house slippers so we can ignore the floors for months on end.

One good thing about the UK being part of the EU - with the influx of relatively unskilled Eastern Europeans with the addition of Poland, Romania, and Hungary to the EU means the market is flooded with inexpensive domestic help. So you can get a cleaner here for peanuts.

I have a pair of indoor flipflops for this reason.

Oh, I clean the floor but with a preschooler running around it gets dirty again quickly, so wearing flip flops means I’m not sweeping and washing the floor every other day.

I finally got off my butt and washed the walls this past weekend. (Shocking, I know. Last time I did that was… before winter started.) Amazing what a difference that makes, but it’s rough on my wrist (tendonitis).